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Anti-Hot Rods

7K views 48 replies 37 participants last post by  jray 
#1 ·
OK, we've had fun with the best muscle car, let's turn it on its head and list the frumpiest, least-hip, slowest, ugliest rides we know.

Here's my candidate:

1961 Rambler American 4-door
170 c.i. six (last flathead made)
13" steelies w/ blackwalls and tiny hubcaps
vacuum windshield wipers that stop when you step on the gas, great for entering freeways in a downpour
chic twotone Crest toothpaste green-on-creme paint, rust optional
driven by an elderly man who looks like he belongs in an ad for laxatives, with a fedora hat centered exactly on his head, exactly 18mph (23 mph on freeways)
 
#3 ·
lets see. Ford Pinto, Chevy Chevette, Ford Mustang II, AMC Pacer, AMC Gremlin, Dodge Omni, several more I can`t recall,, and almost any new vehicle that looks like it`s a space ship instead of a car, which narrows it down to almost all of them. But honestly, I`d like to have a Gremlin, they were Ugly, but gotta love how they act when you stuff a 400 small block Chevy under the hood.
 
#4 ·
My vote would have to be a Hyundai Excel. A friend of mine gave me one about a year ago, 2 door hatchback. It had whopping 83 cubic inch engine with around 50 H.P. Top speed of around 40 mph on a good day. I kept it about 2 weeks and drove it to a wrecking yard and sold it to the owner for $20.
 
#6 ·
AMC Pacer wagon with the rare fake "woody" option. Nothing like fake vinyl wood siding on a car. Seen one once that had a set of Keystone mags and some N50's out back, can't for the life of me figure out how he intended to spin the tires?
 
#9 ·
4Jaw. I have had both a VW bus (5 blown engines in two years) and an AMC Pacer (3-cord tree branch fell on it in addition to the silver vinyl top turning chocolate brown, the exhaust maniflod cracking, etc., etc.). Other dogs I have owned include K-car wagon, Volare wagon, need I go on?
 
#11 ·
Hey Willy, did you have your name written in those sticky back slanted gold house letters stuck to the dash? The Pacer I mentioned above had just that. He was a true hotrodder...

Too funny. :D

Floor mats with "Golden red dreamer angel baby" embroidered on would have been a nice addition to that car. :p

The ugliest car I ever owned was a 4dr 77 Chevette, second would be my Jetta! ;)
 
#13 ·
Originally posted by 4 Jaw Chuck:
<strong>AMC Pacer wagon with the rare fake "woody" option. Nothing like fake vinyl wood siding on a car. Seen one once that had a set of Keystone mags and some N50's out back, can't for the life of me figure out how he intended to spin the tires?</strong><hr></blockquote>

They were available with a 304 V-8 in 1978. And there have been other V-8 swaps.
 
#14 ·
Originally posted by 4 Jaw Chuck:
<strong>Hey Willy, did you have your name written in those sticky back slanted gold house letters stuck to the dash? </strong><hr></blockquote>

No but this Pacer was a special limited edition. Actually, it was a very nice looking car, silver paint, custom tapestry upholstry, custom trim package, custom aluminum wheels I have never seen B4 or since. Only problem with the car is that it was made by AMC!

[ December 09, 2002: Message edited by: willys36@aol.com ]</p>
 
#15 ·
kilchsgray should be shot! The Rambler American was a wonderful car. The old 6 banger was 195.6 in. It was reliable and economical. (Available until 65) IMHO, the Packards built after the Studebaker merger were ugly as can be, and pretty much anything designed using a computer is lame. Designs worked out in clay had character.

[ December 09, 2002: Message edited by: Biggarmike ]</p>
 
#17 ·
MY PARENTS HAD A 76 FORD LTD, IT WAS FADED CRAYOLA BLUE, THE INTERIOR REMINDED ME OF MY GRANDMAS COUCH, THE 351 ENGINE JUST WHEEZED, AND IF JUST KIND OF WALLOWED AROUND CORNERS, LIKE IT WAS GOING TO ROLL ANY TIME. THE STYLING WAS SO UNIQUE, JUST LIKE A BIG SHOE BOX. I PREFERRED MY PLYMOUTH VALIANT OVER IT BY FAR.
 
#18 ·
The Aztec is truly strange. It's a great design for usefulness though as long as you don't have to look at it. The '47 Stude gathered the same reaction then as did the '52. The '53/58 2dr sedans were truly horrible. Then the Willys Dragon................Mid-Fifties Hudsons, 58 Ford. It was such a shock after the beauties in '57. '61 and '62 Mopars? Good Grief. DeSoto Airstream's??? Is there an inherent gene in designers that every so often the entire clan goes bonkers for a bit? Is there some type of inoculation breed a resistance to this insanity? Are we all so darn bored this is becoming important? :cool:
 
#19 ·
my first ride- the Chevy Luv. Izuzu straight 4 that couldn't get out of its oun way. front distrib that dround out when it rained. gas line that froze in the winter no matter how much HEAT i dumped in the tank. majorly uncool as a highschool ride. powder blue too! yup, that got the ladies! :p did manage to jump it with three of us in front- good times.
 
#20 ·
that valiant! plymouth/dodge hadda whole bevey of those pigs and chrysler too. i thought my 64 baracuda was a pig, and everything made in the 80's that looked all the same, lika shoe-box. aztecs are Butt ugly too. but the ugliest car i ever saw was that black 66 GTO with the 20 inch tires posted not too long ago. and weren't they white-wall tires too? bleackk!
 
#21 ·
Sorry to gore anyone's ox, but I still wake up in a cold sweat thinking of those wipers while trying to merge onto the Southfield Freeway in Detroit during a rush hour thunderstorm.

Actually, the later American -- 63-65? old brain is failing me -- was kinda cute. The earlier, Nashoid one was the one I meant.
 
#22 ·
I'm definetely with you "kevin45" that valiant is truely the ugliest car I've seen,, I mean dodge/chrysler built some terrible looking cars but that one is the worst. Last year here at our local car show a guy came from the US with a car just like that but pro-streeted, I thought pro-street anything was cool (even a pro-street Pinto, or Chevette are cool) but not that car.

bonuts
 
#26 ·
DoubleVision said:
lets see. Ford Pinto, Chevy Chevette, Ford Mustang II, AMC Pacer, AMC Gremlin, Dodge Omni, several more I can`t recall,, and almost any new vehicle that looks like it`s a space ship instead of a car, which narrows it down to almost all of them. But honestly, I`d like to have a Gremlin, they were Ugly, but gotta love how they act when you stuff a 400 small block Chevy under the hood.


I also have a pic of one with a red/white/blue paintjob, lots of patina runnin at the drags. Too bad the pic is only a concept. Much better than the fwd crap they offer thesedays.
 
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