[willowbilly3]

I never paid much attention to it but now I am dating a lady whose 16 year old son is being medicated for ADD. He is intelligent and open but very immature. The worst part is that he is often rude and argumentative, and disrespectful toward his mom and also other adults. Are these traits characteristic of someone with ADD, or more because he never had a father for the last 6 years and was just allowed to misbehave.

[lanierledford]

Will, I have a grandson who they say has ADD. He's caused my dau., my ex and other lots of trouble. When he come up and stays with my wife and I , he doesn't take the med. for a month and doesn't cause trouble, or pitch those fits. My ex says, you can't take him shopping, he'll pull things off the shelfs. I ask her how long she taught I'm put up with that. She said he wouldn't dare try it with you. Well, I love my grandkid more than life its self and would do anything for them, but I do believe people do things for two reasons. Because they want to, or because they have to. If they don't have to, and don't want to, then they don't. I think we spend to much time making up excuses for thing, when we should spend more time correcting the problem. We just can't except the responsibly for our actions, so why should we ask our kids too. Just my 2 Wentworth. Father of 4, grandfather of 10 and great grandfather of 1 an 1/2

[Nightrider]

What's a thing this ADD?

[NXS]

One of my best friends "had" ADD {Attention Deficit Disorder}.

About 6'4" serious biker, skulls all over his house {he's in the pen now}. REALLY GOOD GUY, the guy that would get up at 3 am and drive 80 miles to get your car b/c it broke down.

but...

I learned about the medication. It's nothing more than pharmaceutical speed. It would wear him out after a week or so of taking it and he'd calm down {you know bikers can be annoying from time to time}. Well he'd take all these meds at one time basically and get all wound up then run out at the end of the month. The next month a big bottle of pills and he'd be going about 500 MPH again, 3 am and bored GOING to find something to do. That's how he ended up back in the pen in my eyes.

He didn't have a dad when he was young, no real authority when he was young. He just needed discipline when he was younger.

I think it would be best to keep the KID off the speed {that's ALL the meds are, speed} and teach him some discipline. If he rips the food off the shelves make him put it back on the shelf. Show some "tough love" to him {it's gotta be tough AND love}. If the kid is really bad, so bad he doesn't know right from wrong, how is speed going to help him? by wearing him out?

The kid needs sports, or something like a big car rebuild project. Something that will tire him physically AND mentally while at the same time teaching him respect (respect for the project, respect for the tools and most importantly, respect for himself and what he can do).

[Weimer]

Originally Posted by NXS

One of my best friends "had" ADD {Attention Deficit Disorder}.
About 6'4" serious biker, skulls all over his house {he's in the pen now}. REALLY GOOD GUY, ....

LOL! Sounds like it.
Later,
WEIMER

[kringold]

Originally Posted by willowbilly3

I never paid much attention to it but now I am dating a lady whose 16 year old son is being medicated for ADD. He is intelligent and open but very immature. The worst part is that he is often rude and argumentative, and disrespectful toward his mom and also other adults. Are these traits characteristic of someone with ADD, or more because he never had a father for the last 6 years and was just allowed to misbehave.

My youngest stepson had ADD and those are some of the same characteristics as he had. My wife chose not to medicate him as she thought it mellowed him too much and that he wasn't the same person. But isn't that the point. Perhaps if he was medicated he wouldn't have been killed robbing a gas stattion for $40 at the age of 17.

Originally Posted by NXS

I think it would be best to keep the KID off the speed {that's ALL the meds are, speed} and teach him some discipline. If he rips the food off the shelves make him put it back on the shelf. Show some "tough love" to him {it's gotta be tough AND love}.

Been there done that and unless you wanted to use the fist, he wouldn't put it back on the shelf. He would have told you to f**k off.

Originally Posted by lanierledford

but I do believe people do things for two reasons. Because they want to, or because they have to. If they don't have to, and don't want to, then they don't.

With ADD they have to. There was two sides to Adam. It go to the point at one time we sought family counciling for him. When the counselor was around, Adam HAD to behave in his eyes. The counselor didn't see the bad Adam, and got off track and spent more time focused on me, the evil step-dad instead off spending the time he needed to with Adam to see the true him. The wife even admits to this.

Originally Posted by NXS

The kid needs sports, or something like a big car rebuild project. Something that will tire him physically AND mentally while at the same time teaching him respect (respect for the project, respect for the tools and most importantly, respect for himself and what he can do).

We tried that too. Adam liked to play basketball. He was a ball hog and didn't respect his teammates. It didn't last one season before he quit.

Originally Posted by NXS

I learned about the medication. It's nothing more than pharmaceutical speed. It would wear him out after a week or so of taking it and he'd calm down {you know bikers can be annoying from time to time}. Well he'd take all these meds at one time basically and get all wound up then run out at the end of the month.

You said it. He was abusing the medication instead of using it. With ADD the medication works pretty much the opposite. It would calm Adam, where as if I were to have taken it I would have been flying. I guess what I am trying to say is, if the medication works, go for it. But if it doesn't help, don't bother and pray.

[Nightrider]

So you live, and you think that they are normal people with bad character
And appears, that it is illness...HORRORS OF OUR SMALL TOWN....

[53LEDSLED]

the only problem is that just about anyone who goes and gets tested for it will probably get tested positive for it. my parents wanted me to go get tested for it cause of my performance in class. the reason i don't pay attention in class is because i dont find it interesting at all, if class had something to do with cars, im sure i would'nt even blink. well the guy said i had ADD and gave me a prescription for the medicine (and a $850 bill that my insurance woudlnt cover) the medicine is was the worst thing ever. i would sleep 4-5 hours a day, loose 3-4 pounds per week, and my friends told me i wasnt the same person. this might be just in my case, im sure some people are better with the medication. if your really interested in learning some information on it go here

[RCastle]

My brother in law was a slave to that damn Ridlin because they said he had ADD. He was just a boy,that is all.ADD suddenley appeared several years ago,because it was a quick buck for pharmacutical compainies and for doctors. A boy will be a boy. I am not saying there are not,but I have NEVER met a girl who was diagnosed with this witchdoctor made problem.My B I L would crash when those dang pills wore off,when he was on them,he was just a lump on the front porch. Dont let a kid get caught with weed,but dope him up with those pills. Makes no sense to me. If a Doctor ever tries to diagnose my kid with ADD,I'll go ballistic.My son gets into every thing possible,because he is a boy and that is what boys do.

[killerformula]

Maybe I can offer some professional insight given that I work in the mental health field. Hope it helps.

First off, I have 80 clients that I see at work. Every last one of them is on psych meds in the form of pills. Probably a good 75% also receive an injection. These meds all have side affects, but they are necessary to our clients' treatment.

ADD is a common problem. The first thing I would do is have a psychologist (rather than a psychiatrist) evaluate your son to see if there are any other co-occurring disorders. Disorders like ADHD have a high co-morbidity rate with other types of mental illness (like axis II problems such as personality disorders (borderline P.D. etc. Seriously doubt you'll find anything like antisocial P.D.), AXIS I major depressive disorder, Bipolar I or II, the list goes on).

I learned about the medication. It's nothing more than pharmaceutical speed. It would wear him out after a week or so of taking it and he'd calm down {you know bikers can be annoying from time to time}. Well he'd take all these meds at one time basically and get all wound up then run out at the end of the month. The next month a big bottle of pills and he'd be going about 500 MPH again, 3 am and bored GOING to find something to do. That's how he ended up back in the pen in my eyes.

Clinical workers like myself can only help a client insofar as he or she is willing to help themselves. There's a difference between a prescribed regiment of medication and follow up visits and grabbing a bottle of prescription meds and stuffing the whole bottle down your throat at one time.

If you're going to go ahead with treatment for your son, be an active part in it and get a pill box for him so that he can take the proper amount of medication when he's supposed to take it. You keep the meds, and help him fill his weekly doses once a week.

My brother in law was a slave to that damn Ridlin because they said he had ADD. He was just a boy,that is all.ADD suddenley appeared several years ago,because it was a quick buck for pharmacutical compainies and for doctors. A boy will be a boy. I am not saying there are not,but I have NEVER met a girl who was diagnosed with this witchdoctor made problem.My B I L would crash when those dang pills wore off,when he was on them,he was just a lump on the front porch. Dont let a kid get caught with weed,but dope him up with those pills. Makes no sense to me. If a Doctor ever tries to diagnose my kid with ADD,I'll go ballistic.My son gets into every thing possible,because he is a boy and that is what boys do.

Well, ADHD (along with many other mental health disorders) is a clinical diagnosis. Its not black and white, like a heart condition. ADHD consists of a certain set of triats. A lot of people have those traits, but that doesn't mean that they're all ADHD. ADHD is diagnosed when those traits interfere with their normal life and goals to a significant degree. When a psychologist sees that this person's normal life's pattern is being run by these ADHD traits, he's going to step in and diagnose. Treatment is optional unless you're hospitalized in a state institution.

The kid needs sports, or something like a big car rebuild project. Something that will tire him physically AND mentally while at the same time teaching him respect (respect for the project, respect for the tools and most importantly, respect for himself and what he can do).

That's more than likely not going to work without other forms of treatment. Even if the person enjoys certain things, its hard for them to focus on whatever is going on past that moment. Think of it as the brain is kind of shifting gears lazily, going slow. THe person pittles around with this thing for a few minutes, loses interest, goes and does something else for a few minutes, and then loses track of that, etc etc. Whether or not the person is interested in those things probably makes very little difference.

My youngest stepson had ADD and those are some of the same characteristics as he had. My wife chose not to medicate him as she thought it mellowed him too much and that he wasn't the same person. But isn't that the point. Perhaps if he was medicated he wouldn't have been killed robbing a gas stattion for $40 at the age of 17.

That's horrible .

[willowbilly3]

Well, I tend to be a bit of a cowboy about medicating behavioral problems. I basically see it as treating the symptom and not the cause. While I do think there is a place for modern medicine, I also think that the whole thing is just a social ill and not a clinical one. I do not want to discount his need for the medication but I also feel he is just playing the whole thing to be unaccountable. My friend and I had him over to the shop helping us do some welding and he was basically pretty tolerable, but around his mom he is an annoying little jerk. I am not advocating child abuse but when I was a kid, he would have gotten a backhand across the chops for talking to his mother that way, or any other adult. There wasn't any (known) cases of ADD, bi-polar or anything like that in rural areas like I was raised. Everyone knew that there was things expected of them and accepted it. Even severely mentally disabled kids were not disrespectful. Yes there were some teenagers who were rebellious and disiplinary problems. My oldest brother was one. My parents were at the end of their rope with him by the time he was 15 and relatives finished raising him. He came back after he graduated as a different person and never really exhibited that behavior again.

[78 monte]

ADD is when you track in Anolog and them master in Digital and them reproduce in digital. :d
ADD is too much a quick prescription for bad behavior.
When I was a kid my school counselor said I had ADD cause I was allways in trouble and being wise and cause I fidgited my legs.My parents refused to put me on medication cause they didn't believe this was the case.
I was booted outta school and sent to a behavoir problem school then finaly booted all together for behavoir problems.Then I went back to school for my GED and trade school(comercial electrician)the next year,were I was surounded by adults who treated me like an adult and I got my GED in 2weeks and graduated trade school w/ a 94 average.
NO ADD here.
I hated high school and felt outta place w/ my peers and hated being treated like a 5yr old by the instructors in high school thats all my problem was.As far as figiting I just stopped w/ age.
Its BS.
Medicine companys gotta sell drugs.Have you seen the new comercial for Restless leg syndrom??*** is that???

[NXS]

Originally Posted by willowbilly3

My friend and I had him over to the shop helping us do some welding and he was basically pretty tolerable, but around his mom he is an annoying little jerk.

That's what he needs, no dope and not mommy, but a man to show him how to be a man. idle hands are the devils playground. keep him busy and he will be fine.

[Nightrider]

Originally Posted by NXS

keep him busy and he will be fine.

Let's direct destructive energy to a peace channel!
But if will blow up?

[NXS]

if he blows up put him in a head lock {I mean put a frim hand on the back of his neck and look him square in the eyes} , tell him you respect him and have him tell you the same.
I don't mean pop his eyes out, but let him know respect goes a looong ways.