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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 10-11-2004, 01:00 AM
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Bad jokes

Not dirty just bad. I have been torturing a co-worker for a couple of weeks with bad jokes. So I thought we could get some bad jokes out there.

Q:Did you hear about the new movie about the undead mafia boss?

A:Don of the Dead.

Q:You know what you call it when Dustin Hoffam does a back flip?

A: Tootsie Roll.

J: Did you know that disney is going to make a sequel to Aladin where the bad guy is going to be Jafar's younger brother, Janear.

Those are just ones I came up with tonight.

Instead of The Dukes of Hazzard, there could be a new show: The Barons of Safety.


So lets see your groaners, keep it clean but bad.

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Old 10-11-2004, 01:25 AM
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Here's two...

[color=yellow]Q: What do you get when Batman and Robin are squashed?[/color]

A. Flatman and Ribbon!



[color=yellow]Q: How many ears does Mr. Spock have?[/color]

A: One on the left, one on the right and a final frontier!
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[color=yellow]"Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It only irritates the pig and it is a waste of your time".[/color]

Last edited by KristensRanchero; 10-11-2004 at 12:50 PM.
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Old 10-11-2004, 01:33 AM
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i've told this one before.........

a bear walks into a bar.
the bar tender asks, "what do you want?"
the bear says, "i'll have a vodka and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhh coke"
the bar tender says, "why the big pause?"
the bear says, "i don't know, i was born with them".
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Old 10-11-2004, 01:38 AM
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Here is the ultimate in bad jokes:


Why is your nose 12 inches long?

Cause then it'd be a foot!

Heard that from my real young cousin.


bonuts
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Old 10-11-2004, 02:27 AM
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Mine´s a foot long, but I don´t use it as a rule.
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Old 10-11-2004, 02:59 AM
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Q: What do you call a sleeping knight?

A: A "Goodnight"
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Old 10-11-2004, 05:23 AM
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For the love of God,guys.Enough already Hahahaha
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Old 10-11-2004, 08:40 AM
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this isn't really a joke but it was funny,


a few weeks ago i walked in the front door from work and my daughter kristen was on the computer and she jumped up all excited and said to me i'm listening to this great new band called cradle of filth!!!!! i said as opposed to bin of cleanliness??

she almost fell off the chair she was laughing so hard.

Last edited by helrazr3; 10-11-2004 at 09:32 AM.
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Old 10-11-2004, 09:16 AM
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When your feet smell..........................
and your nose runs..............................

You´re upside down.
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Old 10-11-2004, 09:05 PM
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another bad one

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says" Why the long face"

Or

If the generic name for Advil is Ibuprofen, and the generic name for tylenol is acetaminophen, what is the generic name for Viagra??

*

Last edited by Jon; 10-12-2004 at 12:22 AM.
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Old 10-13-2004, 09:33 AM
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I had a friend from South America who told these God awful jokes that he seriously believed were absolutely hysterical.


Q: What did the one cloud say to the other cloud?

A: Get out of my way!

Q: What did the one car say to the other car?

A: Honk!

Q: What did the one rock say to the other rock?

A: Nothing! Rocks don't talk you idoit!


He always ended with that one. The real question is........does he really think clouds and cars can talk?
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Old 10-13-2004, 10:44 AM
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Ok I got one.

Why did the cute little birdie fall out of the tree?






Because I shot him.

Larry
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Old 10-13-2004, 11:00 AM
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Life around me.

My girl and I were at the laundry mat finishing drying and folding clothes because our dryer at home went bad. We sat waiting on the pant's load and eating Chinese food from the China Kitchen next door.

"Hey, you suppose those pants are having fun" I piped.

"Sure" she said.

"They look like their jumping around to me"

She gave me the crazy look again.

"What happens if they get sick and puke?" I pondered out loud.

"Are we going to have to wash them again?" I asked with a smile.

"No, It would be a DRY HEAVE..."




True Story
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Old 10-13-2004, 02:12 PM
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I give up....

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground beef





Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn't matter he can't come to you anyway.
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Old 10-13-2004, 02:49 PM
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A little sick (?) BUT....

Ever notice that crows never get hit while dining roadside??

If you listen real close, there's one in the trees yelling "Car! Car!! Car!!!"
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