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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 07-14-2005, 07:28 PM
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Business And Family

I want to familiarize you guys a little with a bad situation I am in.

As some of you know, I own a small repair shop in a small town. My brother and I own the piece of property that my shop resides on. I utilize the building for my repair business and my brother uses the rest of the lot for a car lot.

I tend to be the "tortoise" in my business philosophy and my brother has been the "hare".

My brother has heavy financial backing so he can purchase vehicles. At one time he owned two different lots, but one failed miserably and ran up a huge deficit.

Members of my family tried to help bail him out of the situation, but he has taken to womanizing and drinking, and fails to TCB. It's now to the point that he is on the brink of being shut down.

Of course, this will have an effect on me, but to what extent is yet to be seen.

I have made mistakes in business, but I have not made the big mistakes like this one. Most of my errors have been fairly petty and my business seems to be growing quite well.

My brother now seems to blame everyone else on his problems and doesn't really care if my mother or sister wind up losing fifty grand each.My sister is studying to be a CPA, but has damaged her own credit over this mess. Some of the things that took place might even be illegal and subject to prosecution. My sis helps him in the office and he's blaming her for all of the "fraudulent activity".

I had a long talk with them today, and I told them I would do all I could do to help them out of a bad situation, but I am afraid to get close to it as the bank knows I don't have any affiliation with my brother's business other than the fact that we operate on the same piece of real estate. I don't really want them to think I had any dealings or detailed knowledge of the mess.

I'm really looking at what it's going to take to re-secure the property in my own name when the deal goes south, which could be any day now.

I feel very badly for my entire family , but it seems that the more everyone tries to help, the deeper they get involved into a mess.

What is the proper thing to do in this situation?

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Old 07-14-2005, 09:53 PM
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I would say "avoid family", but you can't do that. I'd say be in a place yourself to cover your butt when things go south. It sounds like you're doing that already. You have to step up and be the responsible one and try to salvage what you can, while you can. One day, your brother may "grow up" and realize that you had to do something to save your own livelyhood before you could help save his (which is what it sounds like you are trying to do). It's gonna be tough, and more than likely, he's going to hate you for a while. He may get over it, or he may not. This is what you do for a living. It pays your business bills, your home bills, puts food on your table, and a roof over your head. You need to put yourself first here. It's that simple. Too bad it's easier said than done, right?


In a while, Chet.
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Old 07-15-2005, 07:39 AM
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Talk to the guaranter of the real estate loan. Explain the situation to them honestly. Tell them you want to either subdivide or secure his interest in the property. You need to act fast. And seek the advise of an attorney. We can give SUGGESTIONS, but legal advise is your BEST BET. Tell your brother you want to buy his portion of the real estate. He can then lease from you. This way, he can not be in default and lose your property. Also, his financiers can not attach YOUR property, if HE doesn't own it. Good luck !
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Old 07-15-2005, 09:32 AM
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Family in business

In my fathers business he had a similar thing with my uncle. (He had some questionable business practices also). It finally came to a head with my dad and uncle fist fighting in the parking lot. Needless to say they parted ways. It turned out to be good for my dad because my uncle leaving saved him enough money to make the payments to him and then some. And all the drama left with him. Long story short my uncle is now broke and is resentful for my fathers success. The thing is if my father had not broke free of his brother he would have had a very difficult time.

I have also noticed that when dealing with people that consider themselves victims, rescuers sometimes become victims too.

John
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Old 07-15-2005, 11:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NAIRB
What is the proper thing to do in this situation?
The proper thing to do would be to talk to a business lawyer. Some people on here may have had some experience in what you are going through, but in your case you should talk to a lawyer. Tell him/her what you know, and tell them what you are wanting to do. The lawyer(especially one in your location)is going to know the laws inside/out. In any case if it does go to court you will need a lawyer anyhow. Better to one-up the courts before it comes to stepping inside of the courtroom and having to deal with a Judge and a Banker.
Later,
WEIMER
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Old 07-16-2005, 11:46 AM
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I for sure would get a lawyer 'cause your brother will be sure to drag you down. Your best bet would be to divorce yourself from ANY business dealings with him, including getting a new location. You can bet that a good lawyer will go after ALL of his assets (especially if there has been funny business going on) and that your business will be scrutinized thoroughly. Your sis in a bad spot also.

I know he's your brother but he has put you and your family's credit and reputation in jeopardy. Be careful!

tom
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Old 07-16-2005, 01:53 PM
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Best advice you got was see a lawyer.

Learned long ago never do business with family and never for any reason loan money to family and for Gods sake never hire family!

There is no such thing as a family loan, it is really considered a gift because you will never see the money again.

The nice part, everyone in my family knows how I have been burnt in the past and none of them have had the nerve to ask me for money in last 15 years. A great feeling!

Only exception is my parents will never do without.
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Old 07-17-2005, 07:47 AM
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The lawyer thing is probably the best start. Next stop for me would be the local real estate office. I would see what is available and figure out what you can afford. If you think it would be tough to move and afford a place figure out another source of income in your new location. We are doing this right now for our gym. Realestate is a huge cost in the small town I live in. We just signed a contract for 1.15 acres at $3.50 ft2. It is a ton of money and we dont even have a building yet. The building will cost about double that. We are adding two more income sources when we move with tanning and a smoothie shop to help cover the building cost and make profit to justify the huge investment cost.. You could do the same with something similiar for added income.

I just hope that you are used to paying rent now so you have a basis for how much the building will cost you additional each month. We are paying a crap load of rent so the building is not that much more cost for us. For you it could be different, but it sounds like what you need to do.

Chris
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Old 04-01-2006, 06:04 PM
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Well, boys. The deal went down. My brother and sister are facing fraud charges, and they could cross interstate lines, making it a federal offense.

I'm not trying to air my dirty laundry, but it's been a very long journey. I've been here on this location, working hard for 10 years now. I am very worried about my siblings as well as my own future. I am not throwing in the towel by any means, but I would like to say that next few weeks might be life-changing for my family.

I am still in good standing as far as I know, but to have your family name dragged through the mud like this always reflects badly.

This hit on Friday, and I will say that I felt a few chest pains over it. Have you ever tried to help someone who refuses to listen? That's how this whole deal seemed to me, just helpless. I just didn't have the spare 1/4 million dollars laying around to bail them out.

Wish my luck boys, I'm gonna need it.
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Old 04-01-2006, 08:19 PM
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NAIRIB
I want to wish you and your family the best of luck, I will say a prayer but can't gaurentee much cause I may not be in the best of standing with him myself. But I wish you luck.

30dee
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Old 04-01-2006, 08:27 PM
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Man thats rough, hope everything works out well in the end.
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Old 04-01-2006, 08:52 PM
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Its still not too late to get a lawyer preferably one who knows the people your gonna be dealing with {as long as his in it for YOUR interests

I'm sure the customers Know the difference between you & him other wise you'd be out too.

you can get stuck down trying to help others no doubt.

Its high time you cover yourself now ,you might still wind up eating some of his mess to repair any damage to you & yours.

I'm pulling for you the whole thing reeks of trouble I hope you come out unscathed

Best of luck

R
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Old 04-01-2006, 08:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NAIRB
Have you ever tried to help someone who refuses to listen? That's how this whole deal seemed to me, just helpless. I just didn't have the spare 1/4 million dollars laying around to bail them out.

Wish my luck boys, I'm gonna need it.
Very sorry to hear of your problems. I've learned you can't help someone who won't listen - you know the old "You can lead a horse to water....". Something else I've learned is you can't usually help someone with a financial problem by giving them money. The basic issue causing the problem usually remains and they end up there again.

Best of luck with your difficult situation.
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Old 04-01-2006, 10:09 PM
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Whew....that sucks man. Hope that you can get it all figured out without too much damage to your name and business. I also hope you have a backup plan for your business since it sounds like the bank could own the property soon. If that happens I would be the first in line to try and talk to them about it....if you want it. Otherwise, you might see your family land up for sale.

Hope you get it all figured out. Sounds like it will be life altering, but try to make the change a positive for you and your family(wife and kiddos I assume). Look for the silver lining. There is usually a way to come out of these things better in the long run.
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Old 04-01-2006, 11:14 PM
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I feel for you and your family NAIRB. I too have had family problems over the years with a 2 drug addicted brothers. One finally straighted out at 35 years of age, but the other is still actively abusing. I've tried and so have many others in the family have tried to help him out. He's done hard time, more than once and still hasn't learned. He has caused all of our family and friends years of grief. Sometimes you have to wash your hands and realize you can't save everyone. I wish you luck and hope you get the legal help you need to wade through this situation. My prayers are with you friend.
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