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Old 10-12-2003, 07:24 PM
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kitkar kitkar is offline
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Your characters are too polite, unless this is Smalltown, USA. The storyline is as believable as F&F, I suppose. You need to start revealing the plot real soon.

It's got potential, but it's gettin' boring fast. Chapter three needs a police raid, a fire, a zombie with a chainsaw, or some kind of bone chiller. The fact that anyone 14 can write complete sentences anymore thrills me. Keep working on it Alex. Best sellers don't come easy unless you're Oprah.

kitkar
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