Daily funny--- Revisited - Page 143 - Hot Rod Forum : Hotrodders Bulletin Board
Hotrodders.com -- Hot Rod Forum



Register FAQ Search Today's Posts Unanswered Posts Auto Escrow Insurance Auto Loans
Hot Rod Forum : Hotrodders Bulletin Board > General Discussion> Hotrodders' Lounge> Off-Topic
User Name
Password
lost password?   |   register now

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #2131 (permalink)  
Old 07-20-2011, 08:13 AM
Job~Rated's Avatar
Artful Dodger
 

Last journal entry: From behind
Last photo:
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Norwich, UK
Age: 51
Posts: 1,387
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 12
Thanked 22 Times in 21 Posts
The Sierra Club and the U. S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to the Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population.
It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true method of shooting or trapping the predators, the Sierra Club had a "more humane" solution to this issue.
What they were proposing was for the animals to be captured alive.
The males would then be castrated and let loose again. This was ACTUALLY proposed by the Sierra Club and by the U. S. Forest Service.
All of the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes.

Finally, an old fellow wearing a big cowboy hat in the back of the conference room stood up, tipped his hat back and said, "Son, I don't think you understand our problem here. These coyotes ain't *********g our sheep, they're eatin' 'em!"

    Advertisement
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #2132 (permalink)  
Old 07-20-2011, 10:03 PM
dinger's Avatar
Hotrodders.com Moderator
 
Last wiki edit: Health and safety in the shop or garage
Last journal entry: 36 Ford painting
Last photo:
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Visalia, Ca.
Age: 61
Posts: 2,707
Wiki Edits: 1

Thanks: 102
Thanked 108 Times in 74 Posts
John's chicken Farm

John was in the egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets', and ten roosters to fertilize them. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells. John's favorite rooster, Obama, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed Obama's bell hadn't rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. To John's amazement, Obama had thought of a way to do it without work, he had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of Obama, he entered him in the Chicago County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded Obama the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well. Clearly Obama was a politician. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention. Vote carefully in 2012, the bells are not always audible.
__________________
"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not." - Mark Twain
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2133 (permalink)  
Old 07-21-2011, 07:26 AM
wretched ratchet's Avatar
one full turn after it squeeks
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Yuppieville, Tejas
Age: 72
Posts: 1,179
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 65
Thanked 178 Times in 139 Posts
Corny Texas Cartoon

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2134 (permalink)  
Old 07-21-2011, 09:27 AM
Job~Rated's Avatar
Artful Dodger
 

Last journal entry: From behind
Last photo:
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Norwich, UK
Age: 51
Posts: 1,387
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 12
Thanked 22 Times in 21 Posts
That's a corny joke...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2135 (permalink)  
Old 07-22-2011, 10:35 AM
dinger's Avatar
Hotrodders.com Moderator
 
Last wiki edit: Health and safety in the shop or garage
Last journal entry: 36 Ford painting
Last photo:
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Visalia, Ca.
Age: 61
Posts: 2,707
Wiki Edits: 1

Thanks: 102
Thanked 108 Times in 74 Posts
Let’s test the way you think:

Thepenisinhermouth

Did you read ‘The pen is in her mouth?'
Nah, me neither....
__________________
"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not." - Mark Twain
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2136 (permalink)  
Old 07-23-2011, 05:15 PM
Irelands child's Avatar
Registered User
 
Last wiki edit: Ford engine specifications Last photo:
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 4,856
Wiki Edits: 8

Thanks: 13
Thanked 184 Times in 165 Posts
Attorney Humor ::::::
A very successful attorney parked his brand new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out, a truck came along too closely and completely tore off the driver's door.


Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus with his lights flashing.


Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the attorney started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just purchased the day before, was completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how any car body shop tried to make it new again.


After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."


"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.


The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It was severed when the truck hit you!"


"OH, MY GOD!!!" screamed the lawyer.



(keep reading)






"My Rolex!"
__________________
Irelands child
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2137 (permalink)  
Old 07-24-2011, 04:53 AM
Job~Rated's Avatar
Artful Dodger
 

Last journal entry: From behind
Last photo:
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Norwich, UK
Age: 51
Posts: 1,387
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 12
Thanked 22 Times in 21 Posts
I've just found a snake that had been run over by a motorbike.

Here's a picture...

$
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2138 (permalink)  
Old 07-26-2011, 11:10 AM
Irelands child's Avatar
Registered User
 
Last wiki edit: Ford engine specifications Last photo:
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 4,856
Wiki Edits: 8

Thanks: 13
Thanked 184 Times in 165 Posts
Just in case you're planning to do a little cooking...

TV Chef: To keep potatoes from budding,
place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

My Wife: Buy mashed potato mix.
Keeps in the cupboard for up to a year.
----------------------------------------------------

TV Chef: When a cake recipe calls for flouring
the baking tin, use a bit of dry cake
mix instead and there won't be any
white mess on the outside of the cake.

My Wife: Go to the bakery!
Heck, they'll even decorate it for you!

--------------------------------------------------------



TV Chef: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting
in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

My Wife: Celery?
Never heard of it!

------------------------------------------------------------------

TV Chef: Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and
rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

My Wife: Take a lime, mix it with tequila,
chill and drink! All your pains go away!

----------------------------------------------------

TV Chef: Don't throw out all that leftover wine.
Freeze into ice cubes for future use
in casseroles and sauces.

My Wife: Left over wine ? ? ?
HELLO!!!!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Lastly, if you don't forward this to all of your friends within the next 5 minutes, your belly button will unscrew and your butt will fall off.
__________________
Irelands child
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2139 (permalink)  
Old 07-28-2011, 08:52 AM
carsavvycook's Avatar
My 2 cents worth
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Lakeside, CA
Age: 57
Posts: 2,855
Wiki Edits: 3

Thanks: 2
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doctor put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia.




"Hmm..."mumbled the doctor, and as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again.



"Aha!" said the doctor, and reached for his surgical scissors....
Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side . . . then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side.



The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt.



The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his testicles were no longer aching.



The doctor said, "How does that feel now?"

The midget replied, "perfect Doc, and I didn't feel it. What did you do?"

The doctor replied, "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2140 (permalink)  
Old 07-31-2011, 04:56 PM
wretched ratchet's Avatar
one full turn after it squeeks
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Yuppieville, Tejas
Age: 72
Posts: 1,179
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 65
Thanked 178 Times in 139 Posts
Can Y'all guess what this is?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2141 (permalink)  
Old 07-31-2011, 09:00 PM
matts37chev's Avatar
I don't understand?
 

Last journal entry: this is only a test
Last photo:
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Shelton,Wa.
Age: 45
Posts: 2,420
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 0
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
i dont know, small bird feeder?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2142 (permalink)  
Old 07-31-2011, 09:44 PM
Bad Rat's Avatar
Member
 

Last journal entry: Bad Rats anglia Build Journal plus bike and other photos
Last photo:
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Oregon Wetlands
Age: 75
Posts: 507
Wiki Edits: 2

Thanks: 59
Thanked 27 Times in 18 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by wretched ratchet
Can Y'all guess what this is?
Its a bottle cap that is about to fall off the railing,
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2143 (permalink)  
Old 08-01-2011, 05:49 AM
wretched ratchet's Avatar
one full turn after it squeeks
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Yuppieville, Tejas
Age: 72
Posts: 1,179
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 65
Thanked 178 Times in 139 Posts
All good guess but it's the "New and Improved Texas Rain Gauge"
- - order now because supplies are limited.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2144 (permalink)  
Old 08-01-2011, 09:38 AM
Bad Rat's Avatar
Member
 

Last journal entry: Bad Rats anglia Build Journal plus bike and other photos
Last photo:
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Oregon Wetlands
Age: 75
Posts: 507
Wiki Edits: 2

Thanks: 59
Thanked 27 Times in 18 Posts
This is Oregons rain gage emptied daily....
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	C45-300-21094_small.jpg
Views:	46
Size:	11.5 KB
ID:	57255  
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2145 (permalink)  
Old 08-01-2011, 09:45 AM
wretched ratchet's Avatar
one full turn after it squeeks
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Yuppieville, Tejas
Age: 72
Posts: 1,179
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 65
Thanked 178 Times in 139 Posts
HAHAHAHA, youze gotz web footies yet??
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Tags
humor, off topic

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Hot Rod Forum : Hotrodders Bulletin Board forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name (usually not your first and last name), your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
400 SBC Daily Driver Buildup 31rdster Engine 22 06-01-2009 10:51 AM
Good God I'm bored! Read this or die, its funny. killerformula Off-Topic 30 05-06-2009 01:08 PM
Funny ha ha funny funny. coldknock Off-Topic 12 05-03-2009 06:15 AM
Daily funny Kevin45 Off-Topic 7 10-29-2007 07:22 PM
Daily funny Kevin45 Off-Topic 1 06-25-2007 05:49 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:27 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
Copyright Hotrodders.com 1999 - 2012. All Rights Reserved.