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  #2251 (permalink)  
Old 11-11-2011, 11:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wretched ratchet
More truth than humor here but I didn't want to start another thread for this !

Having been bombarded, for more than two years, with countless stories of the hikers held prisoner in Iran , and having had quite enough of the political correctness so invasive in our daily lexicon, I have decided that somebody needs to say SOMETHING which is politically DIRECT about this whole situation. So, here we go…An open letter to the “hikers.”
Yep, pretty much what I've been saying to my wife (and a few others of like thinking)

Dave W

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  #2252 (permalink)  
Old 11-11-2011, 04:08 PM
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Nothing personal Moparites, Calies and Okies !

(I don't writ'em, I just shar'em)
A fellow went to the doctor, who told him that he had a bad illness and only a year to live. So the fellow decided to talk to his pastor. After the man explained his situation, he asked his pastor if there was anything he could do.

"What you should do is go out and buy a late 70's or early 80's model Dodge pickup," said the pastor. "Then go get married to a woman Democrat from California, and then buy yourselves an old trailer house in the panhandle of Oklahoma."

The fellow asked, "Will this help me live longer?"

"No," said the pastor, "but it will make what time you do have left seem like forever."
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  #2253 (permalink)  
Old 11-13-2011, 11:34 AM
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Could this be modified to work on Hot Rods and Pickups?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1C-Bxifv2Pk
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  #2254 (permalink)  
Old 11-13-2011, 12:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wretched ratchet
Could this be modified to work on Hot Rods and Pickups?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1C-Bxifv2Pk
I KNOW that my $200 Crapsman door opener has been much, much cheaper to operate and, especially, maintain over the last 18 years
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  #2255 (permalink)  
Old 11-13-2011, 12:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Irelands child
I KNOW that my $200 Crapsman door opener has been much, much cheaper to operate and, especially, maintain over the last 18 years

ya don't have to feed the crapsman opener. and it don't talk back,
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  #2256 (permalink)  
Old 11-13-2011, 01:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bad Rat
ya don't have to feed the crapsman opener. and it don't talk back,
Bill - you are absolutely correct !!!!

Dave W
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  #2257 (permalink)  
Old 11-13-2011, 05:53 PM
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It don't talk at all!!! haha
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  #2258 (permalink)  
Old 11-13-2011, 06:10 PM
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Originally Posted by bentwings
It don't talk at all!!! haha
I bet that one that ran out and opened the door in that video has ALOT to say,, and at unopertune times too I bet
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  #2259 (permalink)  
Old 11-13-2011, 06:20 PM
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I sent this to Malc and his comment was
"It's way too slow"
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  #2260 (permalink)  
Old 11-14-2011, 12:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bad Rat
ya don't have to feed the crapsman opener. and it don't talk back,
Apart from opening doors this one does other "chores"...........
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  #2261 (permalink)  
Old 11-14-2011, 06:31 AM
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Now - to change the subject a bit:

Harley-Davidson: The most efficient way to convert gasoline into noise without the adverse side effect of horsepower.

Is it true that Harleys are chick magnets?
Yes, but only if the chick has a steel plate in her head.

What's the cheapest way to get another 50hp from your Harley?
Trade it in on a Kawasaki.

Why don't Harley riders sit on their bikes when the sidestands are down?
They're afraid to lean over that far.

What's the difference between a Harley and a Harley owner's home?
The Harley costs more and has fewer wheels.

How do you now you're riding a Harley?
While coming off an exit-ramp you get passed by a Vespa.

How do you know all the aftermarket parts you bought for your Harley are worth the money?
You finally break into the 15's in the quarter mile.

How do Harley engineers tell if a bike is worthy of the Harley name?
They check to make sure the exhaust noise in decibels exceeds the horsepower rating.

Why don't Harley owners smile?
Once you realized you got conned into paying $25,000 for an outdated piece of $#!+ would YOU be smiling?

What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vacuum cleaner?
The location of the dirtbags.

Why do Harleys have fringe?
So you can tell if they're moving.

How do you know your Harley is handling great?
You can almost keep up with the logging trucks when you're riding in the
canyons.

How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog?
They both like to ride in the back of pickup trucks.

What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and an old dog?
The dog can get in the back of the pickup by itself.

Why couldn't the Harley mechanic repair the doorknob?
Some things just can't be fixed with only a hammer and a rope.

What's the difference between a Harley taken to Daytona on a trailer and one that's being ridden there?
The one on the trailer is going about 30mph faster.

Why do all Harley owners have trailers??
So they can go around corners faster!


And the final nail on Harley ownership...........................


Did you know 95% of all Harleys are still on the road?
The other 5% actually made it home.

Let the flames begin

Dave W
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  #2262 (permalink)  
Old 11-14-2011, 06:49 AM
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sure glad I own a HONDA
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  #2263 (permalink)  
Old 11-14-2011, 10:51 AM
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Sure am glad I own a Yamaha VMax. I am stealing that one, Ireland. Here's one I got this morning:

Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland . As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. 'These,' she explained, 'are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.' She then asked, 'What do you do in America with your old goats?'
A spry old gentleman answered, 'They send us on bus tours!'

this one has been cleaned up a little bit:

A Biker was standing in a bar the other day and this little Chinese guy comes in and stands next to him. After awhile the bikers says to him, “Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate or Ju-Jitsu?”

He gets this perturbed expression on his face and says “No, and why hell you ask me dat, is it coz I Chinee?”

“No”, He says, "It’s because you’re drinking my beer, you little ****** **** ****.
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  #2264 (permalink)  
Old 11-14-2011, 11:02 AM
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Harleys

Why do Harley riders travel in groups?

Parts
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  #2265 (permalink)  
Old 11-14-2011, 11:07 AM
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Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland . As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. 'These,' she explained, 'are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.' She then asked, 'What do you do in America with your old goats?'
A spry old gentleman answered, 'They send us on bus tours!'



A hillside in Holland ?
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