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  #2296 (permalink)  
Old 12-08-2011, 11:10 AM
malc's Avatar
Living At The Speed Of Life
 
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CONDOM HISTORY
Interesting......

In 1272, the Arabic Muslims invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.

In 1873, the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

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  #2297 (permalink)  
Old 12-08-2011, 02:33 PM
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It's just the worst thing in the world when you call out the wrong name during sex...

Last week, I accidentally shouted my sister's name.

My mom was not happy.
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  #2298 (permalink)  
Old 12-08-2011, 03:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Job~Rated
It's just the worst thing in the world when you call out the wrong name during sex...

Last week, I accidentally shouted my sister's name.

My mom was not happy.
Now that is sick, and funny, at the same time!

I have my snack ready to read other responses to this one! LOL
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  #2299 (permalink)  
Old 12-09-2011, 12:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malc
CONDOM HISTORY
Interesting......

In 1272, the Arabic Muslims invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.

In 1873, the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! loving it!
__________________
"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not." - Mark Twain
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  #2300 (permalink)  
Old 12-09-2011, 12:20 AM
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www.tbuckets.lefora.com/
 
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The sign in the bar just simply proclaimed card room activities in a separate room, but read the sign and decide if it is giving marital advice.


"LIQUOR UP FRONT
POKER IN THE REAR"
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  #2301 (permalink)  
Old 12-09-2011, 05:18 PM
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one full turn after it squeeks
 
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Stolen from Terraplane Bob

A married couple had been out shopping at the mall for most of the afternoon. Suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had "disappeared".

The somewhat irate spouse called her mate’s cell phone and demanded: "Where the hell are you?"

Husband: "Darling, you remember that jewellery shop where you saw the diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it and I didn't have money that time
and said, ‘Baby it'll be yours one day.’ "

Wife, with a smile and blushing, replied: "Yes I remember that, my love."

Husband: "Well, I'm in the Bar next to that shop."
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  #2302 (permalink)  
Old 12-11-2011, 10:24 AM
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I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend

"That's us in 10 years".

He said "That's a mirror, dip-s h i t !
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  #2303 (permalink)  
Old 12-15-2011, 02:51 PM
Custom10's Avatar
my KARMA ran over my DOGMA
 

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WELL A LITTLE BIT OF SASKATCHEWAN HUMOUR NEVER HURT
ANYBODY... A good ole Saskatchewan boy won a fishing boat
in a raffle drawing. He brought it home and his wife
looks at him and says, "What the heck you gonna do with
that. There ain't no water deep enough to float a boat
within 75 miles of here.”;
He says, "I won it and I'm a gonna keep it."

His brother came over to visit several days later. He sees
the wife and asks where his brother is. She says, "He's
out there in his fishing boat", pointing to the field
behind the house.

The brother heads out behind the house and sees his
brother sitting in a fishing boat with a fishing rod in
his hand down in the middle of a big field. He yells out
to him, "What the heck are you doing?"
His brother replies "I'm fishin’. What the heck does it
look like I'm a doing?"

His brother yells back, "It's people like you that give
people from Saskatchewan a bad name, making everybody
think we are stupid. If I could swim, I'd come out there
and kick your arse.“
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  #2304 (permalink)  
Old 12-16-2011, 09:52 AM
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Dumb and Dumber?

MADISON, Wis. — Police in Wisconsin's capital city barely had to try to catch a pair of unlucky suspected thieves.

Madison police say two men in their late 20s stole DVDs and computer games from a Target store Tuesday and discussed their plans to fence the goods while driving away.

Investigators say the duo didn't realize one of them had accidentally pocket-dialed 911. A dispatcher listened in for nearly an hour as they discussed what they had stolen and where they might sell it. Police say they even described their vehicle.

Madison police spokesman Joel DeSpain says the pair decided to sell their goods at a video store. When they pulled into the store's parking lot, officers surrounded their vehicle with guns drawn.

The Associated Press
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  #2305 (permalink)  
Old 12-16-2011, 06:53 PM
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My 2 cents worth
 
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Major OOP's factor . . . .
Grandfathers Don't Know Everything!



Hunter was 4 years old and was staying with his grandfather for a few days.
He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked ,
'Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?' His Grandpa was a little taken a back, but he decided to tell him the truth.
'Well, Hunter, it's called sexual intercourse.’
Oh, Little Hunter said, 'OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandpa, it isn't called sexual intercourse.





It's called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy’s mom wants to talk to you.'









Major "oops" factor!
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  #2306 (permalink)  
Old 12-18-2011, 08:16 AM
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Inner Pees

I'm passing this on because it worked for me today... Dr Oz said that to reach inner peace we should always finish things we start, & we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked around my house to find things I'd started & hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no fukn idr how fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner pees.
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  #2307 (permalink)  
Old 12-18-2011, 11:14 PM
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One hand clapping.
 

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Be careful when stepping off the curb.....
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  #2308 (permalink)  
Old 12-19-2011, 04:44 PM
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HAHA!





Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage and family values.

Bill said: 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'

Larry replied: 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
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  #2309 (permalink)  
Old 12-19-2011, 08:45 PM
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I don't understand?
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob Heine
Be careful when stepping off the curb.....
that makes my day
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  #2310 (permalink)  
Old 12-19-2011, 11:16 PM
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Ford to acquire Renault

With Euro going down, Ford to acquire Renault

Ford has announced plans to acquire French automaker Renault and engineering teams have already joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.

Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'. It comes in pink and the average male car thief won't be able to find it - let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.

Rumor has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month and can be a real bi**ch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over.

New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases with age. Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.

This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace it as needed.
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