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  #241 (permalink)  
Old 03-23-2008, 02:15 PM
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MENOPAUSE JEWELLERY

"My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green and when I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead!"

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  #242 (permalink)  
Old 03-23-2008, 08:29 PM
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How to you get a prostitute to slow down?




















This should be easy....












Keep going, it's worth it....













You put a governor on her!!



In a while, Chet.
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  #243 (permalink)  
Old 03-26-2008, 01:39 PM
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Parked on the side of the road, waiting to catch speeding drivers, a state trooper sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. Thinking the driver is as dangerous as a speeder, the state trooper turns on his lights and pulls the car over.

As he approaches the vehicle, the officer notices there are five elderly ladies inside—two in the front seat and three in the back—wide-eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says, "Officer, I don't understand. I was going the exact speed limit. What seems to be the problem?"

The trooper, trying to contain a chuckle, explained to her that 22 was the route number — not the speed limit.

A bit embarrassed, the woman grins and thanks the officer for pointing out her error.

"Before you go," the officer says, "I have to ask: Is everyone in this car okay? These women seem awfully shaken."

"Oh," she answered, "They'll be all right, sir. We just got off of Route 127."
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  #244 (permalink)  
Old 03-28-2008, 09:29 AM
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one full turn after it squeeks
 
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Done and I apologize

Last edited by wretched ratchet; 03-29-2008 at 07:04 PM.
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  #245 (permalink)  
Old 03-28-2008, 10:40 AM
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http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Fitxof...eature=related

Great commercial - really makes you 'love' kids
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  #246 (permalink)  
Old 03-28-2008, 01:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Irelands child
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Fitxof...eature=related

Great commercial - really makes you 'love' kids

PRICELESS!!!

In a while, Chet.
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  #247 (permalink)  
Old 03-29-2008, 06:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wretched ratchet
Street Rodding isn't the only place where "stance" is important
]

Guys , , I thought this was a rated G site ........
I just had to explain my way outta this one with my 8 year old
He walks by and goes " what's a C%^T " ....
I really don't appreciate that one .
Funny , yes . Inapropriate for this site? yes.
you mind shrinking it down into a thumbnail or something ?!?!?! sheesh .
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  #248 (permalink)  
Old 03-29-2008, 07:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 79C10
He walks by and goes " what's a C%^T "
"son, that actually spells COUNT but you can't see the O because she is standing in front of it"
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  #249 (permalink)  
Old 03-29-2008, 08:20 PM
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which was exactly what I told him , and if he was twice his age , I'da told him it stood for "can't understand normal thinking" . Then again , if he was twice his age , he'd have already known that.
I wasn't offended personally by it , but to hear that come out of the mouth of your child is un-nerving .
Thanks for the edit , BTW .
No harm done , I believe .
Unless he whips that word out at school or something .
I am glad his Mom wasn't within earshot , though !

Mike
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  #250 (permalink)  
Old 03-29-2008, 08:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 79C10
which was exactly what I told him , and if he was twice his age , I'da told him it stood for "can't understand normal thinking" . Then again , if he was twice his age , he'd have already known that.
I wasn't offended personally by it , but to hear that come out of the mouth of your child is un-nerving .
Thanks for the edit , BTW .
No harm done , I believe .
Unless he whips that word out at school or something .
I am glad his Mom wasn't within earshot , though !

Mike
no prob glad to oblige - - - sometimes, even, I need my curb chain tightened - - glad I didn't put y'all in the wrath of Mom
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  #251 (permalink)  
Old 03-30-2008, 10:30 AM
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Ringo Starr turns to Paul McCartney & asks: "Do you think you'll ever go down on one knee again?"
Paul replies: "No, I don't think so.....and I do wish you'd call her 'Heather'!"
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  #252 (permalink)  
Old 03-30-2008, 10:47 AM
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^^^^^^^ I laughed , but then felt bad for doing so. ^^^^^^^^^^

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  #253 (permalink)  
Old 03-30-2008, 12:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 79C10
^^^^^^^ I laughed , but then felt bad for doing so. ^^^^^^^^^^

Me too!!!
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  #254 (permalink)  
Old 03-30-2008, 12:36 PM
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I did too, but trust me - - - Heather is laughing a lot harder and all the way to the bank
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  #255 (permalink)  
Old 03-30-2008, 12:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wretched ratchet
I did too, but trust me - - - Heather is laughing a lot harder and all the way to the bank
This little 'judgment' only hurt Sir Paul's pride. He'll make more on a concert tour then that. The gold digger, Heifer, is still asking for more - which she will probably not get - even the British judge said she was less the credible. And the child - she has to suffer on 'only' $70,000 a year tho she will be with her father at least 6 months of the time and will benefit on Sir Paul's death.

Just between us folks here - I could probably live fairly nicely on $50MM for the rest of my life even though I might have to scrimp at the grocery store.

Dave W
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