Daily funny--- Revisited - Page 176 - Hot Rod Forum : Hotrodders Bulletin Board
Hotrodders.com -- Hot Rod Forum



Register FAQ Search Today's Posts Unanswered Posts Auto Escrow Insurance Auto Loans
Hot Rod Forum : Hotrodders Bulletin Board > General Discussion> Hotrodders' Lounge> Off-Topic
User Name
Password
lost password?   |   register now

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #2626 (permalink)  
Old 09-24-2012, 11:01 AM
malc's Avatar
Born To Be Mild
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Espaņa Right Coast
Age: 63
Posts: 3,189
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 61
Thanked 52 Times in 50 Posts
Women gets a quote for mechanical work

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #2627 (permalink)  
Old 09-26-2012, 04:25 PM
wretched ratchet's Avatar
one full turn after it squeeks
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Yuppieville, Tejas
Age: 72
Posts: 1,175
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 45
Thanked 156 Times in 120 Posts
Male Logic
This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:

A wife asks her husband,
"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk,
and if they have avocados, get 6."
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had avocados."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2628 (permalink)  
Old 09-26-2012, 04:25 PM
wretched ratchet's Avatar
one full turn after it squeeks
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Yuppieville, Tejas
Age: 72
Posts: 1,175
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 45
Thanked 156 Times in 120 Posts
Forum did a double post for some reason - - - and wouldn't let me delete one - - - sorry

Last edited by wretched ratchet; 09-26-2012 at 04:29 PM. Reason: dual post for some reason
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2629 (permalink)  
Old 09-26-2012, 05:50 PM
boothboy's Avatar
More bucks, go faster!
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Grass Valley, CA.
Posts: 548
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 96
Thanked 194 Times in 176 Posts
Another Aussie Joke

An Australian, an Irishman and an Englishman were sitting in a bar. There was only one other person in the bar. It was a man. The three men kept looking at this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar.

They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before, when suddenly the Irishman cried out "My God, I know who that man is. It's Jesus!" The others looked again and, sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting alone at a table.

The Irishman call out, "Hey!, you!!! Are you Jesus?" The man looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head. "Yes, I am Jesus" he says. The Irishman calls the bartender over and says to him "I'd like you to give Jesus over there a pint of Guinness from me." So the bartender pours Jesus a Guinness and takes it over to his table. Jesus looks over, raises his glass, smiles thank you and drinks.

The Englishman then calls out, "Errr, excuse me Sir, but would you be Jesus?" Jesus smiles and says, "Yes, I am Jesus." The Englishman beckons the bartender and tells him to send over a pint of Newcastle Brown Ale for Jesus, which the bartender duly does. As before, Jesus accepts the drink and smiles over at the men.

Then the Australian calls out, "Oi, you! D'ya reckon you're Jesus,or what?" Jesus nods and says, "Yes, I am Jesus." The Australian is mighty impressed and has the bartender send over a stubbie of Victoria Bitter for Jesus, which he accepts with pleasure.

Some time later, after finishing the drinks, Jesus leaves his seat and approaches the three men. He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement."Oh God, the arthritis is gone," he says. "The arthritis I've had for years is gone. It's a miracle!"

Jesus then shakes the hand of the Englishman, thanking him for the Newcastle Brown Ale. Upon letting go, the Englishman's eyes widen in shock. "By jove", he exclaims, " The migraine I've had for over 40 years is completely gone. It's a miracle!"

Jesus then approaches the Australian, who has a terrified look on his face.

The Aussie whispers ... "**** off mate, I'm on Workers Comp
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2630 (permalink)  
Old 09-27-2012, 10:09 AM
malc's Avatar
Born To Be Mild
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Espaņa Right Coast
Age: 63
Posts: 3,189
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 61
Thanked 52 Times in 50 Posts
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2631 (permalink)  
Old 09-27-2012, 10:16 AM
wretched ratchet's Avatar
one full turn after it squeeks
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Yuppieville, Tejas
Age: 72
Posts: 1,175
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 45
Thanked 156 Times in 120 Posts
Bovine gets the last laugh eh, Chief?
Believe it or not, I know how that happened
and it wasn't photoshop !

Horses are not very smart and it's amazing
that he hasn't broken a leg or killed himself
by the time the pic was taken.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2632 (permalink)  
Old 09-27-2012, 10:50 AM
malc's Avatar
Born To Be Mild
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Espaņa Right Coast
Age: 63
Posts: 3,189
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 61
Thanked 52 Times in 50 Posts
1. You can't count your hair
2. You can't wash your eyes with soap
3. You can't breathe when your tongue is out

Put your tongue back in you fool !

10 things I know about you...

1) You are reading this
2) You are human
3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips
4) You just attempted to do it
6) You are laughing at yourself
7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5
You just checked to see if there is a No. 5

9) You laughed at this because you are an idiot

10) You are probably going to send this on to see who else falls for it
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2633 (permalink)  
Old 09-27-2012, 11:32 AM
malc's Avatar
Born To Be Mild
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Espaņa Right Coast
Age: 63
Posts: 3,189
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 61
Thanked 52 Times in 50 Posts
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2634 (permalink)  
Old 09-27-2012, 12:48 PM
malc's Avatar
Born To Be Mild
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Espaņa Right Coast
Age: 63
Posts: 3,189
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 61
Thanked 52 Times in 50 Posts

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2635 (permalink)  
Old 09-29-2012, 04:10 AM
Job~Rated's Avatar
Artful Dodger
 

Last journal entry: From behind
Last photo:
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Norwich, UK
Age: 51
Posts: 1,387
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 12
Thanked 22 Times in 21 Posts
I was sitting in traffic today when suddenly and bizarrely, I saw a naked woman hopping down the street with her hands and feet tied together and a gag in her mouth.

"That's the funniest thing I have ever seen", I thought to myself, as I shared a smile with the guy in the car beside me.

Laughter soon turned to panic though, when I looked in my rear view mirror and saw my trunk lid was open.....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2636 (permalink)  
Old 09-29-2012, 09:13 AM
boothboy's Avatar
More bucks, go faster!
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Grass Valley, CA.
Posts: 548
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 96
Thanked 194 Times in 176 Posts
Two attorneys boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, a physician got on and took the aisle seat next to the two attorneys. The physician kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the attorney in the window seat said," I think I'll get up and get a coke." "No problem," said the physician, "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, one of the attorneys picked up the physician's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the coke, the other attorney said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too." Again, the physician obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other attorney picked up the other shoe and spat in it. The Physician returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the Physician slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. "How long must this go on?" he asked. "This fighting between our professions? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2637 (permalink)  
Old 09-30-2012, 06:06 AM
Job~Rated's Avatar
Artful Dodger
 

Last journal entry: From behind
Last photo:
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Norwich, UK
Age: 51
Posts: 1,387
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 12
Thanked 22 Times in 21 Posts
An American couple got into my taxi and said they wanted to experience a typical British cab ride.

So I put Punjab FM on the radio and drove like an idiot.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2638 (permalink)  
Old 09-30-2012, 08:38 AM
boothboy's Avatar
More bucks, go faster!
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Grass Valley, CA.
Posts: 548
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 96
Thanked 194 Times in 176 Posts
A Britsh couple got into my cab and said they wanted to experience a typical American cab ride. So I put on a Punjab, Jamaican, Russian,Pakistan station and drove like a idiot!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2639 (permalink)  
Old 09-30-2012, 09:01 AM
Job~Rated's Avatar
Artful Dodger
 

Last journal entry: From behind
Last photo:
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Norwich, UK
Age: 51
Posts: 1,387
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 12
Thanked 22 Times in 21 Posts
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2640 (permalink)  
Old 10-01-2012, 07:07 AM
Job~Rated's Avatar
Artful Dodger
 

Last journal entry: From behind
Last photo:
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Norwich, UK
Age: 51
Posts: 1,387
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 12
Thanked 22 Times in 21 Posts
What do you call the first Afghan off the boat?

Amhere


What do you call the second Afghan off the boat?

Amhere Azwel


What do you call the third Afghan off the boat?

Amhere Azwel Azhim
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Tags
humor, off topic

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Hot Rod Forum : Hotrodders Bulletin Board forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name (usually not your first and last name), your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
400 SBC Daily Driver Buildup 31rdster Engine 22 06-01-2009 10:51 AM
Good God I'm bored! Read this or die, its funny. killerformula Off-Topic 30 05-06-2009 01:08 PM
Funny ha ha funny funny. coldknock Off-Topic 12 05-03-2009 06:15 AM
Daily funny Kevin45 Off-Topic 7 10-29-2007 07:22 PM
Daily funny Kevin45 Off-Topic 1 06-25-2007 05:49 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:58 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
Copyright Hotrodders.com 1999 - 2012. All Rights Reserved.