Three Nuns Were Attending A Cubs Baseball Game..

Three Men Were Sitting Directly Behind..
Because Their Habits Were Partially Blocking The View,

The Men Decided To Badger The Nuns Hoping That They'd

Get Annoyed Enough To Move To Another Area..


In A Very Loud Voice, The First Guy Said,

'i Think I'm Going To Move To Utah .. There Are Only 100 Nuns Living There..'

Then The Second Guy Spoke Up And Said,

'i Want To Go To Montana .. There Are Only 5o Nuns Living There..'

The Third Guy Said,

'i Want To Go To Idaho .. There Are Only 25 Nuns Living There..'

One Of The Nuns Turned Around, Looked At The Men, And

In A Very Sweet And Calm Voice Said,
'why Don't You Go To Hell .. There Aren't Any Nuns There!'

I guess this could go here..
http://www.hotrodders.com/forum/why...mns-145479.html

Later, mikey

__________________
my signature lines...not really directed at anyone in particular..

BE different....ACT normal.

No one is completely useless..They can always be used as a bad example

Three men from New Zealand and three Austrailians were traveling by train in Europe to follow their teams rugby matches. At the station, the three Australians each bought a ticket and watched as the three New Zealanders bought just one ticket between them.

"How are you three boys going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the Aussies.

"Watch and learn!", answered one of the Kiwis.

They all boarded the train. The three Australians took their respective seats but the three boys from New Zealand all crammed into one toilet and slammed the door shut behind them. Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around collecting the tickets.

He knocked on the toilet door and said: "Ticket, please!"

The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand.

The Aussies saw this and thought it was quite a clever maneuver.

After the game, they decided to copy the Kiwis on the return trip and save some money. At the station they bought just a single ticket for their return trip.

To their astonishment, the New Zealanders didn't buy a single ticket.

" How are you boys gonna travel without a ticket?" asked one of the perplexed Australians.

"Watch and learn!", replied one of the Kiwis.

When they boarded the train, the three Aussies all crammed into a toilet and slammed the door shut. Soon thereafter, the three men from New Zealand all crammed into another toilet close by.

After the train began rolling, one of the Kiwis left the toilet and walked over to the toilet where the three from Oz were hiding.

He knocked on their door and said with an official voice: "Ticket, please!"

That's right .

A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car.

There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive It was, and she said to her husband, 'It's nearly frozen to death.

Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?'

He says, 'OK, Get in the car with it.'

The wife says, 'Where shall I put it to get it warm?'

He says, 'Put it between your legs. It's nice and warm there.'

'But what about the smell?' said the wife.

'Just hold its little nose.'

The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with died at the scene.

I ended up with an older woman at a club last night.
She looked OK for a 61 year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a hot daughter.
We drank a bit, and had a bit of a snuggle, and then she asked if I'd ever had a "Sportsman's Double".
'What's that?' I asked.
'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.
I said, 'No,' - excitedly.
We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was 'my lucky night'.
I went back to her place.
She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mom, you still awake?'

I have this image in my head that won´t quit.

I guess it was expected and inevitable wasn't it ?

http://unconfirmedsources.com/index.php?itemid=3834

.....and so is this:
http://gatewaypundit.blogspot.com/2...rity-force.html

and here:

http://www.topix.com/forum/news/200...CN93UD9H6FAHQ8A

and many more (BUT SINCE THIS IS THE DAILY FUNNY, I DO APOLOGIZE BUT NEEDED TO ADD TO WRETCH'S POST )

THEN THERE IS THIS....http://www.topix.com/forum/news/200...CN93UD9H6FAHQ8A(but not funny - sorry)

Having a Bill Engvall Day

I fixed a ham this morning and when I took it out of the oven, I sliced off a piece and took it into the livingroom where the Wiff was for her to taste. She ate it and said "that's the best ham you have ever cooked does it all taste that way?"

Here's yer sign

Then this evening she was watching the news and she came into the computer room and said "they found this woman's body in this lady's front yard - Dead"

Here's yer sign