Daily funny--- Revisited - Page 94 - Hot Rod Forum : Hotrodders Bulletin Board
Hotrodders.com -- Hot Rod Forum



Register FAQ Search Today's Posts Unanswered Posts Auto Escrow Insurance Auto Loans
Hot Rod Forum : Hotrodders Bulletin Board > General Discussion> Hotrodders' Lounge> Off-Topic
User Name
Password
lost password?   |   register now

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1396 (permalink)  
Old 03-17-2010, 10:46 AM
deadbodyman's Avatar
Registered User
 
Last wiki edit: Stripping paint Last photo:
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: augusta,ga.
Age: 53
Posts: 6,042
Wiki Edits: 11

Thanks: 25
Thanked 433 Times in 364 Posts
I beweave texcus be full o dem Irishes tooo An dis pintsfer yuse.

    Advertisement
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #1397 (permalink)  
Old 03-17-2010, 11:57 AM
Irelands child's Avatar
Registered User
 
Last wiki edit: Ford engine specifications Last photo:
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 4,870
Wiki Edits: 8

Thanks: 13
Thanked 185 Times in 166 Posts
......and I'm out of Guinness
__________________
Irelands child
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1398 (permalink)  
Old 03-18-2010, 02:21 PM
deadbodyman's Avatar
Registered User
 
Last wiki edit: Stripping paint Last photo:
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: augusta,ga.
Age: 53
Posts: 6,042
Wiki Edits: 11

Thanks: 25
Thanked 433 Times in 364 Posts
Drink Warning !!!

a bad day of fishing is still better than a.......http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mArGz...eature=related
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1399 (permalink)  
Old 03-21-2010, 10:50 AM
wretched ratchet's Avatar
one full turn after it squeeks
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Yuppieville, Tejas
Age: 72
Posts: 1,179
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 69
Thanked 180 Times in 141 Posts
(compliments of Bad Rat)
When you are down in the dumps and think you have real problems, just remember:

SOMEWHERE IN THIS WORLD, THERE IS A POOR BASTARD NAMED MR. PELOSI
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1400 (permalink)  
Old 03-21-2010, 11:22 AM
Irelands child's Avatar
Registered User
 
Last wiki edit: Ford engine specifications Last photo:
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 4,870
Wiki Edits: 8

Thanks: 13
Thanked 185 Times in 166 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by wretched ratchet
(compliments of Bad Rat)
When you are down in the dumps and think you have real problems, just remember:

SOMEWHERE IN THIS WORLD, THERE IS A POOR BASTARD NAMED MR. PELOSI

Yeah, but he has a major equalizing factor - he is VERY RICH. Net worth - $12+MM in 2008 plus owns property worth up to $25+MM. Whoever said money can't buy happiness, never figured what was in second place

Dave W
__________________
Irelands child
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1401 (permalink)  
Old 03-21-2010, 02:25 PM
Bad Rat's Avatar
Member
 

Last journal entry: Bad Rats anglia Build Journal plus bike and other photos
Last photo:
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Oregon Wetlands
Age: 75
Posts: 507
Wiki Edits: 2

Thanks: 60
Thanked 27 Times in 18 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irelands child
Yeah, but he has a major equalizing factor - he is VERY RICH. Net worth - $12+MM in 2008 plus owns property worth up to $25+MM. Whoever said money can't buy happiness, never figured what was in second place

Dave W
Might be rich,, and surely his money could have bought him a better looking woman,,,
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1402 (permalink)  
Old 03-21-2010, 03:10 PM
wretched ratchet's Avatar
one full turn after it squeeks
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Yuppieville, Tejas
Age: 72
Posts: 1,179
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 69
Thanked 180 Times in 141 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bad Rat
Might be rich,, and surely his money could have bought him a better looking woman,,,
Maybe he drank a lot back then - - - - you know what Mickey Gilley said
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1403 (permalink)  
Old 03-21-2010, 03:48 PM
302 Z28's Avatar  
Last photo:
Join Date: May 2003
Location: North Texas
Posts: 10,837
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 1
Thanked 86 Times in 73 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by wretched ratchet
(compliments of Bad Rat)
When you are down in the dumps and think you have real problems, just remember:

SOMEWHERE IN THIS WORLD, THERE IS A POOR BASTARD NAMED MR. PELOSI
ROFLMAO that was too funny.

Vince
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1404 (permalink)  
Old 03-21-2010, 06:31 PM
Member
 

Last journal entry: frame build
Last photo:
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: sioux falls, sd
Age: 68
Posts: 601
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
If she screws him like she is trying to screw the rest of us, I think I know why.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1405 (permalink)  
Old 03-21-2010, 11:15 PM
NEW INTERIORS's Avatar
Believe in yourself !!!!!!
 

Last journal entry: 41 WILLYS FRAME
Last photo:
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: In My Shop..
Age: 49
Posts: 10,018
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 1,161
Thanked 508 Times in 378 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by deadbodyman
a bad day of fishing is still better than a.......http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mArGz...eature=related

Now thats funny...LOL
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1406 (permalink)  
Old 03-22-2010, 11:20 AM
carsavvycook's Avatar
My 2 cents worth
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Lakeside, CA
Age: 57
Posts: 2,855
Wiki Edits: 3

Thanks: 2
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Feeling Stupid Yet?

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC . ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackarse, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas .
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
MY PERSONAL FAVORITE!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.."
--Al Gore, Vice President
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix "
-- Dan Quayle
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,
"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1407 (permalink)  
Old 03-22-2010, 12:53 PM
carsavvycook's Avatar
My 2 cents worth
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Lakeside, CA
Age: 57
Posts: 2,855
Wiki Edits: 3

Thanks: 2
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alabama
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"

Georgia
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."


Louisiana
A senior at Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."
When asked why, he replied, "He'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world."

Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

North Carolina
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."

Tennessee
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.
The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."
"Yep", he replied. "That's why I dumpin' it here, cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1408 (permalink)  
Old 03-22-2010, 01:20 PM
carsavvycook's Avatar
My 2 cents worth
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Lakeside, CA
Age: 57
Posts: 2,855
Wiki Edits: 3

Thanks: 2
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Story of a Challenged Senior Citizen ~ this is priceless!


I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1,800 employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook and Twitter.

I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way.. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [Blue tooth but it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife as everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-cal-cu-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then when I would make a right turn instead, it was not good.

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me (after 50+ years I certainly hope so).

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings. It was a lot easier when it was connected to a cord (for the kids out there reading this, yes, there used to be a cord attached to the phone - and we only had one phone in the house! I won't even go into "party lines" but older folks know what I'm talking about).

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused but I never remember to take them in with me. Now, I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual."

Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1409 (permalink)  
Old 03-22-2010, 01:35 PM
blue54's Avatar
Registered User
 
Last photo:
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Graham, Washington
Age: 59
Posts: 46
Wiki Edits: 1

Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'YOU CAN BE THE
MAN OF YOUR HOUSE'.

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need
to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare
me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will
serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs
with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want.

'Afterwards, you are going to run me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my
back and towel me dry and bring me my robe...Then, you will massage my feet
and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and do my hair?

Without even looking up from her morning paper the wife replied, 'The
f*@#n' funeral director would be my first guess.'
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1410 (permalink)  
Old 03-23-2010, 10:02 AM
Bad Rat's Avatar
Member
 

Last journal entry: Bad Rats anglia Build Journal plus bike and other photos
Last photo:
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Oregon Wetlands
Age: 75
Posts: 507
Wiki Edits: 2

Thanks: 60
Thanked 27 Times in 18 Posts
Two fleas from Wisconsin


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two fleas from Wisconsin had an agreement to meet every winter in Miami for a vacation. Last year when one flea gets to Miami, he's all blue shivering, and shaking...nearly froze to death. The other flea asks him, "What happened to you?"

The first flea says, "I rode down here from Milwaukee in the mustache of a guy on a Harley."

The other flea responds saying, "That's the worst way to travel. Try what I do. Go to the Metro Airport bar...have a few drinks. While you are there, look for a nice stewardess. Crawl up her leg and nestle in where it's warm and cozy. It's the best way to travel that I can think of." The first flea thanks the second flea and says he will give it a try next winter.

A year goes by... When the first flea shows up in Miami, he is all blue, shivering, and shaking again… nearly froze to death.
The second flea says, "Didn't you try what I told you?"
"Yes," says the first flea, "I did exactly as you said...

I went to the Metro airport bar. I had a few drinks. Finally, this nice young stewardess came in. I crawled right up to her warm cozy spot. It was so nice and warm that I fell asleep immediately. When I woke up, I was back in the mustache of the guy on the Harley
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Tags
humor, off topic

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Hot Rod Forum : Hotrodders Bulletin Board forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name (usually not your first and last name), your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 6 (2 members and 4 guests)
Ohio-Dan, toymobile
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
400 SBC Daily Driver Buildup 31rdster Engine 22 06-01-2009 10:51 AM
Good God I'm bored! Read this or die, its funny. killerformula Off-Topic 30 05-06-2009 01:08 PM
Funny ha ha funny funny. coldknock Off-Topic 12 05-03-2009 06:15 AM
Daily funny Kevin45 Off-Topic 7 10-29-2007 07:22 PM
Daily funny Kevin45 Off-Topic 1 06-25-2007 05:49 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:31 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
Copyright Hotrodders.com 1999 - 2012. All Rights Reserved.