Daily funny--- Revisited - Page 98 - Hot Rod Forum : Hotrodders Bulletin Board
Hotrodders.com -- Hot Rod Forum



Register FAQ Search Today's Posts Unanswered Posts Auto Escrow Insurance Auto Loans
Hot Rod Forum : Hotrodders Bulletin Board > General Discussion> Hotrodders' Lounge> Off-Topic
User Name
Password
lost password?   |   register now

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1456 (permalink)  
Old 04-23-2010, 02:59 PM
carsavvycook's Avatar
My 2 cents worth
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Lakeside, CA
Age: 57
Posts: 2,855
Wiki Edits: 3

Thanks: 2
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither.



Harold Schlumberg is such a person.










I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired'?



Well...I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background, and one of the things I enjoy most is turning beer, wine, Scotch, and margaritas into urine.



Harold should be an inspiration to all of us.

    Advertisement
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #1457 (permalink)  
Old 04-23-2010, 04:08 PM
Irelands child's Avatar
Registered User
 
Last wiki edit: Ford engine specifications Last photo:
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 4,903
Wiki Edits: 8

Thanks: 13
Thanked 200 Times in 181 Posts
I hope this can be opened -

Nope - wrong kind of file
__________________
Irelands child
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1458 (permalink)  
Old 04-26-2010, 05:32 PM
carsavvycook's Avatar
My 2 cents worth
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Lakeside, CA
Age: 57
Posts: 2,855
Wiki Edits: 3

Thanks: 2
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?'

The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.

Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a Million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.'

So the boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

The mother replied, 'Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!'

The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

The girl replied, 'Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?'

The boy then went to his brother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

'Of course,' the brother replied. 'Do you know what a million Bucks would buy?'

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.

His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'

The boy replied, 'Yes, 'Potentially' , you and I are sitting on Three million dollars .

But 'realistically' , we're just living with two hookers and a queer.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1459 (permalink)  
Old 04-26-2010, 07:12 PM
helrazr3's Avatar
im on a highway to hell
 

Last journal entry: new wheels and seats
Last photo:
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: billerica, mass
Age: 49
Posts: 689
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 1
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
thats no fair i was just going to post this joke myself.....i love it
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1460 (permalink)  
Old 04-27-2010, 12:17 PM
staleg's Avatar
Registered User
 

Last journal entry: Hand brake
Last photo:
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Norway - Europe
Age: 47
Posts: 782
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts


The Apehanger boss - hands down....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1461 (permalink)  
Old 04-27-2010, 05:35 PM
Bad Rat's Avatar
Member
 

Last journal entry: Bad Rats anglia Build Journal plus bike and other photos
Last photo:
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Oregon Wetlands
Age: 75
Posts: 507
Wiki Edits: 2

Thanks: 60
Thanked 27 Times in 18 Posts
Now that fool is looking for a chance to kill himself.. riding with those ape hangers is definitely attempted suicide
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1462 (permalink)  
Old 04-27-2010, 05:43 PM
wretched ratchet's Avatar
one full turn after it squeeks
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Yuppieville, Tejas
Age: 72
Posts: 1,179
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 111
Thanked 201 Times in 156 Posts
You are correct, mi Amigo, but I'm calling BS and Photoshopped on that pic. It's still a "hoot" tho
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1463 (permalink)  
Old 04-27-2010, 11:00 PM
Bad Rat's Avatar
Member
 

Last journal entry: Bad Rats anglia Build Journal plus bike and other photos
Last photo:
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Oregon Wetlands
Age: 75
Posts: 507
Wiki Edits: 2

Thanks: 60
Thanked 27 Times in 18 Posts
Could be right about the photo shop but if so a very good one,, still there are fools that would do this just think they look kool,,, in their minds anyway
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1464 (permalink)  
Old 04-28-2010, 06:41 AM
deadbodyman's Avatar
Registered User
 
Last wiki edit: Stripping paint Last photo:
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: augusta,ga.
Age: 54
Posts: 6,086
Wiki Edits: 11

Thanks: 25
Thanked 445 Times in 374 Posts
Thats mikey's new creation at OCC , isnt it?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1465 (permalink)  
Old 04-28-2010, 09:25 AM
Bad Rat's Avatar
Member
 

Last journal entry: Bad Rats anglia Build Journal plus bike and other photos
Last photo:
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Oregon Wetlands
Age: 75
Posts: 507
Wiki Edits: 2

Thanks: 60
Thanked 27 Times in 18 Posts
it certainly looks like a Sr and Mikey creation,, Old school fool,,,,,,,
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1466 (permalink)  
Old 04-28-2010, 10:46 AM
blue54's Avatar
Registered User
 
Last photo:
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Graham, Washington
Age: 59
Posts: 46
Wiki Edits: 1

Thanks: 1
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Horse, A Chicken & A Harley:

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.

One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.

Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley.

Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him.

After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.

Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thingy and he would then lift him out of the pit.

The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story?? (yep, you betcha, there has to be a moral!)





'When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1467 (permalink)  
Old 04-28-2010, 11:51 AM
Bad Rat's Avatar
Member
 

Last journal entry: Bad Rats anglia Build Journal plus bike and other photos
Last photo:
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Oregon Wetlands
Age: 75
Posts: 507
Wiki Edits: 2

Thanks: 60
Thanked 27 Times in 18 Posts
As a Senior citizen was drivig down the freeway , his cell phone rang,, Picking it up, he heard his wife, her voice high and excitedwith anxiety, warn him, "henry" I just saw on the news that there is a car driving the wrong wayon I-5, please be carefull
"ONE?" he replied, you got to be kidding me,, I see at least a hundred!"


An 80 year old man was sitting on the couch with his wife when she said to him, " Why don't you come sit close to me like you use to do, ?" so he did, after a moment she said, "why don't you put your arm around me like you used to do,, so he put his arm around her and held her tight, then she said "why don't you nibble on my ear like you use to do?" the man got up and left the room,, "Where are you going?" she called out,, ?To get my teeth" he replied,,


3 Retires each with hearing loss,, were taking a walk one fine March day,
One remarked to the other," Windy ain't it?" "NO" the second man replied,, "Its Thursday"
Then the third man chimed in and said " Me too,, lets go have a beer"


An old woman is upset at her husbands funeral,, "You have him in a brown suit and I wanted him in a blue suit" she says to the mortician,, he says " We'll take care of that" Ma'am" and yells back to his helper " switch heads on two and four"


Three old men are talking about their aches and pains and bodyly functions,, The 70 year old says"I have this problem, I wake up every morning at 8 am and sit there and grunt and groan for half a hour before I finally have a bowel movement"
The 90 year old , says" At 7 I pee like a horse, at 8 I s%*t like a cow" , so whats your problem the others ask?

"I don't wake up till 9," he sighs

"OLD GUYS RULE"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1468 (permalink)  
Old 04-28-2010, 04:34 PM
carsavvycook's Avatar
My 2 cents worth
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Lakeside, CA
Age: 57
Posts: 2,855
Wiki Edits: 3

Thanks: 2
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Happy Birthday Wizard of OZ.


Dorothy




Is 70 years old.


Today, if Dorothy were to encounter men
with no brains, no hearts, and no courage -

She wouldn't be in Oz -

She'd be in Congress.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1469 (permalink)  
Old 04-28-2010, 05:32 PM
wretched ratchet's Avatar
one full turn after it squeeks
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Yuppieville, Tejas
Age: 72
Posts: 1,179
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 111
Thanked 201 Times in 156 Posts
"Clear mouth of liguid - Warning"

Having already downed a few power drinks, she turned around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and said, "Listen here good looking, I screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, dirty, clean . . . it doesn't matter to me. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college and I just love it."

Eyes now wide with interest, he responded,

"No kidding. I'm a lawyer too. What firm are you with?"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #1470 (permalink)  
Old 04-28-2010, 05:57 PM
carsavvycook's Avatar
My 2 cents worth
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Lakeside, CA
Age: 57
Posts: 2,855
Wiki Edits: 3

Thanks: 2
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
"Morning Sex"

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual

soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only

the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said

softly," You've got to make love to me this very moment!"

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming

or this is going to be my lucky day!"

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then

gave it my all; right there on the kitchen, table.

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove,

her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Tags
humor, off topic

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Hot Rod Forum : Hotrodders Bulletin Board forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name (usually not your first and last name), your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 4 (0 members and 4 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
400 SBC Daily Driver Buildup 31rdster Engine 22 06-01-2009 10:51 AM
Good God I'm bored! Read this or die, its funny. killerformula Off-Topic 30 05-06-2009 01:08 PM
Funny ha ha funny funny. coldknock Off-Topic 12 05-03-2009 06:15 AM
Daily funny Kevin45 Off-Topic 7 10-29-2007 07:22 PM
Daily funny Kevin45 Off-Topic 1 06-25-2007 05:49 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:58 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
Copyright Hotrodders.com 1999 - 2012. All Rights Reserved.