the pickle slicer
Yossel Zelkovitz worked in a Polish pickle packing factory. For many years he had a powerful urge to put his penis in the pickle slicer. Unable to dismiss the thought he sought professional help. After six monthly sessions, his therapist gave up. He advised Yossel to go ahead and do it or he would never have peace of mind.
Several days later, Yossel came home from work very early. His wife Sarah became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened. Yossel tearfully confessed his tormenting desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. He went on to explain that he finally went ahead, did it and had just been fired from his job.
Sarah gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly yanked down his pants and boxer shorts only to find a normal, completely intact penis. Looking up she said, "Yossel, I don't understand. What happened with the pickle slicer?"
Yossel replied, "She got fired, too."