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Old 11-07-2007, 06:24 AM
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schnitz schnitz is offline
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More Hotel Humor

I am a desk clerk.

I have advanced degrees in accounting, public relations, marketing, business, computer science, civil engineering, and am fluent in speaking 13 languages, including Swahili.

Of course I have the reservation that you booked six years ago, even though you don't have the confirmation number and you think it was made under a last name that starts with "X".

It is not a problem for me to give you seven connecting, non-smoking, pool side suites with two king size beds each, and four roll-aways, and YES, I can install a wet bar. I also know that it's my fault that we do not have a helicopter landing pad.

I am a front desk clerk. I understand it is my obligation for me to speak every language and dialect on planet Earth, not just the thirteen I already have mastered. It is obvious to me that when you booked your reservation for Friday that you really meant Saturday. My company has entrusted me with all financial information and decisions, and yet I can't tell you why your bill for March 19, 1989 contained a $.25 phone charge because, obviously, you never make or pay for phone calls.

I understand that McGilloutty's Widget Manufacturing is a vast empire that will make or break our hotel. YES, I am lying when I say that we have no rooms available. It is not a problem for me to quickly construct several more guest rooms. This time I will not forget to add the helicopter landing pad.

I am a front desk clerk. I am quite capable of checking three people in, two people out, taking five reservations, answering fifteen incoming phone calls, and plunging the toilet in room 221, all at the same time.

I always know where to find the best vegetarian, kosher, Mongolian barbecue restaurant. I what to see and do in the city in fifteen minutes without spending any money. I take personal blame for airline food, traffic jams, rental car flat tires, the location of our hotel, and the national economy. I realize that you meant to book your reservations here, people often confuse us with the Galaxy Delight Motel of Antartica. Of course I can 'fit you in' and yes, you may have the special one dollar corporate rate because you are affiliated with the Hoboken Accounting and Bagel Club.

I am expected to smile, empathize, sympathize, console, cajole, upsell, downsell (and know when to do each), preform, sing, dance, and fix the printer.

I am a front desk clerk. I do all things... and still try to look busy when management is around.

In a while, Chet.
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