May have been around for a while, but made me snort and wife cackle.
A guy was in a big pile up on the Big Slab and arrived at the ER in bad shape. After hours of intense medical treatment, he started coming around. The Doc started updating him on his status. "You were in a big pile up on the Interstate and it was touch and go for several hours, but you are going to make it OK". The guy muttered the best he could through all the bandages. The Doc continued "There is a problem that we will need your help with. See, you lost your Willy, sniped right off at the base and even though the medical team looked for quite some time, they did not find it so it could be re attached". Big groan from the patient. The Doc just droned on: " Not a problem though because your insurance is going to award your $9000 for your loss, and I am here to tell you we have come a long way in reconstructing Willys but it is quite expensive at $1000 per inch. You should consult your wife before you decide what you want to do." The patient was able to mutter "Why do that?". The Doc droned on: "Because if you had a 9 inch Willy and you wanted to save some bucks and only get a 5 incher, she may be very disappointed and if you had a 5 incher and opted for a 9 incher, she may not be happy with that either, so discuss it and let me know tomorrow morning". The next morning the Doc stops by and asks if he and the wife have made a decision. The guy groaned out a "Yes". "Well what shall it be?" says the Doc. With a great effort, the guy says "She decided on a new kitchen".