An old woman stopped me in the street and asked me to show her how to get to the hospital.
So I pushed her under a bus.
I wanted to ask my wife her honest view on sexist jokes.
But she was too busy ironing.
Saw my mate outside the Doctors today looking really worried.
"What's the matter?" I asked.
"I've got the big C." He said.
"What, cancer?" I asked
"No", He replied, "Dyslexia."
I was reading in the paper the other day about penile enlargements. I had the operation done, but the problem was that it made my balls look small. I had them done too and then I realized that it made my knees look tiny. One thing led to another and now I'm fat.