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Old 02-15-2004, 04:15 AM
akm akm is offline
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day one

i am happy to say that today is the first day of the rest of my life.
for every since i can remember, i have always been the person that i hate the most. i do bad things to good people and i'm tired of it. i ***** on the next guy because i am always in a bad mood or have something on my mind that just won't go away. i have dreams about killing people and people killing me. i am a sick person and i'm not affaid to admit it anymore. my dreams have kept me up for most of my life and i have just had to learn to live with them, but NO MORE.
i think that i have finally found my true meaning in life and what i want to do with the rest of it; and that is- i want to live. i have been dead for the last 22 years of my life and for the next 22, i am going to dedicate my life to helping others. there is NO greater feeling in my life then knowing that I made someone's life better and more enjoyable.
there is only one way to live, and thats HAPPY. so until you or i am trully HAPPY, we are dead to te earth.
this may sound stupid and all, but for the last few days, every morning i have looked in the mirror at myself and said "i love you" right into my eyes. do i really? no. but after a while i started to notice a change in myself and my personality which greatly improved my whole outlook on life. it helped me to believe that if i loved myself and i feels this good, then helping others would feel great.
since then everyone i meet gets a pleasent "hello, how are you", and if need be, a nice conversation about the weather or what ever else comes up. yes i know these are small things and you may think that they're not really helping, but when is the last time that a stranger has spoke up and said "how is your day?" it has probably been a while.
these are just a few things that i wish to do to make this a more enjoyable world for myself and others, and maybe i can touch someone else with these words and help make their life a little better too; it just takes one.
i am on a quest for knowledge and understanding of others. i want to make this a better place for future generations alike.
i want to be that other guy. that guy that everyone looks up to. that guy that you call when you need help with something or just need a friend.
it is time for me to change, and that time is NOW.

Aaron

p.s. i would just like to give a general sorry to everyone on the board that i have ever gotten to. i will no longer be part of the problem, but part of te solution instead. thank you for reading this, it really helps to know that one day i may be everything that i have always wanted to be. have the best day!!

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Old 02-15-2004, 04:21 AM
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what did you call it? bearded hatchet wound .....


musta been some good hatchet wound.

i love you Aaron. You have a great day k?
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Old 02-15-2004, 07:27 AM
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AKM, you have just come to a realization that is most important to life. Rule one is you have to like yourself and to do that, you must be honest with your self and honesty brings respect!! Your personal honesty will spread to others and that brings respect. This can become a great circle of life or a vicious circle of life. Oh how easy it is to blame others on your shortcomings when all you need to do is look in the mirror and make that person shoulder the blame (honesty), then corrections can occur.

Good luck. You will get some encouragement from many members of this board.

Trees
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Old 02-15-2004, 07:35 AM
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Hang in there

It does get better if you want it too. Don't worry and be happy, for real!


Tazz


rat Rods Rule!
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Old 02-15-2004, 08:19 AM
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Yo Aaron!
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Old 02-15-2004, 01:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by trees
AKM, you have just come to a realization that is most important to life. Rule one is you have to like yourself and to do that, you must be honest with your self and honesty brings respect!! Your personal honesty will spread to others and that brings respect. This can become a great circle of life or a vicious circle of life. Oh how easy it is to blame others on your shortcomings when all you need to do is look in the mirror and make that person shoulder the blame (honesty), then corrections can occur.

Good luck. You will get some encouragement from many members of this board.

Trees
Well said trees. group hug!
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Old 02-15-2004, 01:45 PM
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It looks like someone has reached the next step in getting a little older.

Kevin
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Old 02-16-2004, 11:11 AM
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Talking

Hi Aaron see that smile you just put it on my face so thanks and may you continue to be a blessing and (H.A.G.D)
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Old 02-16-2004, 11:25 AM
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Hey man, sometimes I get caught up in the bustle of everyday life. Then I just put the windows down, turn up Charlie Daniels, lean out the window and give a real big, "YEEEEEEEEEHHAAAAAWWWWWWWWW!!!!"


Sounds dumb, but it really makes me glad I can do it. Anyway, glad to hear you know how to make yourself happy bro That's all that matters.


MoocH
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Old 02-16-2004, 12:22 PM
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Arron, I am glad to read this. Feels great to actually put it into words. I had a life changing moment like that a few months after I watched my best friend die in a plane crash. I wrote this moments after my experience.

"Hey. I just came back inside, I had stepped outside
for a minute to talk to my neighbor for a minute, when
he walked back inside, I happend to look up, and saw
the most beatiful thing I have seen in a long time.
The stars. It was awesome, there was really no way to
explain it. The sky was so clear, a slight glow coming
from the city to my south east, and complete darkness
to the North west, but it was such a beautiful
darkness. The kind of darkness that makes you feel so
safe rather than scared. The longer I stared at the
sky the more and more stars I could see, combined with
the soft cool breeze blowing all around me, smelling
so sweet after today's rain. All the crickets and bugs
were out singing their song, and the distant sound of
trucks cruising on I-20. The whole moment lasted only
a few moments, but it seemed so long. A complete
feeling of pure calmness came over me, everything
seemed to be how it was supposed to be, no matter what
I tried to tell myself, it all just seemed "right".
And for some reason, right now I feel as though I have
a newlly born sense of hope growing inside of me that
I can't control, and ya know what? I AM LOVING IT!!!!!"


Chris
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Old 02-16-2004, 12:38 PM
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KOOOOOOL DUDE

That is a really good post Arron,, Its really heart warming to hear that a young man like your self , has stepped up to the plate and accepted the things that life requires of a person, not only for your self but for everyone that you are associated with, the warm feeling that comes when you make someone smile and laugh, knowing that they respect you for being a nice caring person, todays world has far to many young people that are filled with Hate, I believe that is the main reason for so much violence in the world today, YOU are the only person that can change the way you look upon people and they look upon you in return,, you gotta like yourself first,,, I am really impressed with your post ,, it shows me that you are sincere, it takes alot of foritude to do that,, you will definately make a differance in someones life,, GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!!! BILL
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Old 02-16-2004, 03:52 PM
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Have you been watching Dr. Phil or something???
I didn't get where you are at until after I turned 30. Low self worth is such a huge hurdle to overcome sometimes. Its great to see beyond yourself and give to others, thats one of the ways you can find value and worth in life. I have followed your posts on here for some time and have found you to be .... an .... uh .... "interesting" personality.
I have thought you to be a valuable person once you got your energy channeled in the right direction.
Now go back and read your post you started last year ... remember? ... "Why do you believe". Thats when I found true value and worth in my life!
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Old 02-16-2004, 08:54 PM
akm akm is offline
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thanks everyone.
i think that i am finally on the right track to finding god.
a friend of mine told me to read "Philippians", everyday for 30 days. he said that it WILL help me with a few of my problems.
i have not started yet, but i think that i will tonight.

wish me luck. thanks again, Aaron
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