Here is a partial list.
Left the oil pump shaft out of a brand new motor, fired it up and waited for the oil pressure to come up....waited and waited. It was a good thing I used lots of moly lube on that one. It lived for 135000 miles after I replaced the shaft. (no lie)
Did a power steering conversion on a 57 dodge pickup using a saginaw box off a 78 chev 4x4..made all the brackets, cut down the column and attached it, hooked up all the lines and adapted a pitman arm to it...I tested the steering and it steered backwards. I never felt more stupid in my life..Luckily I called Durex and the owner knew his stuff. A third gen econoline van has the same guts as a GM box, but is reverse rotation. Send it to durex and problem solved.
I installed the timing chain in my 73 blazer 4 teeth off. ( I lined it up like you can a ford, key to key)
Dur hur. (There is actually a post in a thread about that HERE
it actually ran.
I was helping load up to move the fiberglass shop and pushed a 34 coupe replica body right off the side of a flatbed semi with the forklift. Smashed the roof all to flivvers. It eventually became a roadster and was raced by a lady named Gloria Mills.
I saw it at pleasanton a few years back.
Yall want some more? well here's some more
Installed the clutch disc backwards in my 74 chevy van, It engaged ok, but was somewhat noisy on release.
Installed a new 3.50 gearset in a customers car ...and forgot oil.
Yes I drove it. new gears...........380.00 with installation.
Installed the cam in my shovelhead using the timing marks for the generator motor.( it is a cone motor)
I kicked that thing for hours, (kick only bike), then dragged it down the street with my pickup and used a whole can of starting ether before I realized I'd done something wrong.
changed the oil in the carpet installer van tranny. I thought it would be a good idea to run it a little with the pan off....you know, to drain the torque converter. (Yes I am polish, and there were brownies involved
am I done?
I used a whole tube of silicone sealer on my 71 XL 250 top end. All those little snotty strings of silicone filled up the centrifigal oil filter and stopped oil to the top end.
New head and barrel, cam and crank bearings.......350 (this was a long time ago)
broke the glass in my chevy van by slamming the door with the window halfway down. Broke the replacement window by hammering the lower channel on with the edge of the glass sitting on my lawn. The glass found a rock and shattered.
window # 1 85.00
window# 2 65.00...the glass guy gave me a discount on the second piece when I told him my story.
Every one of those things are true and happened to me.
I'm sure there are more. I'm too depressed to remember them right now.
I hope you are laughing at my misfortune, It should bring someone some joy.
Where is Rob Keller?
This is his kind of thread.