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Old 02-26-2004, 09:02 AM
TooMany2count's Avatar
A Half Crippled Old SOB....
 
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growing old

GROWING OLD

Reporters interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
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The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
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Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. "Hardly worth going home is it?"
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I've sure gotten old. I've had 2 By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But.....Thank God, I still have my Florida driver's license!
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A 97 year old man goes into his doctor's office "Doc, I want my sex drive lowered." "Sir", replied the doctor, "You're 97. Don't you think you're 'sex drive' is all in your head?" "You're damned right it is!" replied the old man. "That's why I want it lowered!"
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God, grant me the Senility To forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune To run into the ones I do, And the eyesight To tell the difference.
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An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales. "Bloomingdales!" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why Bloomingdales?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week

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Old 02-26-2004, 09:26 AM
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Gettin old us FUN. I'm 24. I know by the time I'm 50, 60, 70, I'll be saying I didn't know what I was talking about then (now). But I see where I've been, what I've done, and what I've been though. I've witnessed alot of what life has to offer. I feel like a very 'well rounded' person.

It took a few close calls with death to wake me up and realize that time is all we have. Every moment is precious, and you can spend the rest of your life worrying about things that don't really matter, or you can be careful not to do things you will regret later. Either way, you are not going to make it out alive, so why not have a little fun?

There's a difference between 'fun' now (going to bars, driving fast, eating stuff you shouldn't) and 'fun' later (saving for an engagement ring, building a car, planning vacations). Well I make it a point to have FUN whatever I'm doing. What else is a life good for?

"Eat right, excercise daily, brush your teeth, comb your hair, clean your room. . . . . . . .die anyway.

I think about how old I'll live to and just wonder how much fun I can have between now and then, because what it all boils down to is, that's all the time I have to do it. There, that's my outlook.

Who else wants a beer now?


MoocH
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Old 02-26-2004, 09:45 AM
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We do not stop playing because we grow old .

We grow old because we stop playing .

Never be the first to grow old.

55 Mole
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Old 02-26-2004, 10:29 AM
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speed secret: drive fast!!!!!!
 
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so in other words never stop playing
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