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Old 08-15-2003, 12:18 PM
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Hey Four Jaw...

Chuck: I saw on my crystal radio set that they traced the source of this power outage to your neighborhood What are doing up there Don't you know that we are still using electricity down here to cooool our beer DAVE
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Old 08-15-2003, 02:57 PM
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Sorry about that Dave, I have been sucking power from the grid for 3 weeks now trying to store up enough power to test my new Hydrogen/electric/propane/alcohol/compressed oxygen powered prototype Hotrod. I figure if you inject enough fuel and throw enough electricity and oxygen at an engine your bound to get some big horsepower numbers.

The test all started going wrong when I was connecting the car to the 10-4 story 132Kv capacitors I have in the back yard while I was fueling with liquid O2, propane and alcohol...all at the same time. Suddenly out of nowhere came this alley cat hell bent for leather (you can always tell if they are alley cats because they have a streak of old motor oil on their backs), I do believe he was trying to kill me.

So naturally...thinking quickly I pulled the liquid O2 hose loose and sprayed the cat down with fuel and oxygen. It was then I realized my most serious mistake...the cat wasn't trying to kill me...he was trying to commit suicide.

The cat looked at me slyly and then dived at the large Frankenstein 4 foot long knife switch I was using to control power flow from the capacitors. The ensuing fireball sent me flying but luckily I landed in a mattress warehouse about a quarter mile away, my backs still a little sore and no, they weren't orthopaedic mattresses sadly.

When I walked back to the scene of the tragedy I was amazed to find only the houses on the east side and south side of the house were blacked out, I imagine the blast ripped a hole in the space/time continuum.

I hate when that happens.

Of course the yard was full of zombies (ripped space/time continuum remember?) and I had to fight my way through them to get to the main fuse panel in the basement of the house. Once I got the breaker shut off I then went out and took care of the zombies in case the cops showed up (wanna piss off a cop?...send a zombie into a donut shop!).

So I must apologize to all those out there who were affected by this little mishap. I am truly sorry for any inconvenience I may have caused.

The good news is I now have access to my own wormhole in the backyard and I have been having a blast going back in time and kissing all the girls I have ever loved before. I have to be careful...the wife has been getting suspicious and small animals in the neighborhood have been going missing.

All I can say is thank God for the anonymity of the Internet and the safe cloak it provides me so I may carry out my experiments in complete secrecy. They will never catch me now.

Anyone want to know who wins this years Superbowl? I'm gonna be rich I tell you!
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Old 08-15-2003, 07:22 PM
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You weren't in my closet last night about midnight? or was that just a reallly bad dream? Dan
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Old 08-15-2003, 08:13 PM
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HEY FOUR JAW: You will be a better man for having made a complete confession on the air ways. Bless your bones and keep the electrons flowing south. Of course you are aware that there will be a full scale investigation and you MAY have to run for governor of the late and great State of California. Let The Terminator beware.........DAVE
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Old 08-16-2003, 12:28 AM
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hmmm, 4jaw for governor, not a bad idea, but first I think you have to be a citizen. I was kinda hoping for 36willys to run, I could get him a few thousand votes. I think insanity may be a requirement in this coming election, so Willys may have to pass. Dan
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Old 08-16-2003, 08:03 AM
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ROTFLMAO.
Tom
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Old 08-16-2003, 09:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by dinger
You weren't in my closet last night about midnight? or was that just a reallly bad dream? Dan
Sorry Dinger...I was looking for your sisters room.

The cops showed up last night and questioned me about the power outage, I took them both out back and showed them the crater. When they weren't looking I shoved the two of them into the wormhole, I hope they like colonial America. Anyone want a high mileage black and white Crown Victoria cheap? I'll throw in the red and blue lights for free? I'm keeping the shotgun...and computer hookup. I would run for governor of Cali but apparently there is a clause that specifies I must be mentally handicapped or an actor in a motion picture at some time.

Therefore I am creating my own movie picture which stars me as Pippi Longstockings. The story will take place in Las Vegas and will be a tale of how Pippi becomes a showgirl and is taken advantage of by the big casinos, the movie culminates with Pippi becoming a adult movie actress.

I'm gonna call it, "Pippi does Las Vegas".

Anyone know where I can find a set of striped stockings in size 48 extra large?
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Old 08-16-2003, 11:13 AM
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Try the local Bingo halls in the north end. That was pretty mean, sorry I only speak the truth



Marc
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Old 08-17-2003, 09:00 PM
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Cover Up!

I can't believe it. All data points to 4 Jaw Chuck as the source of the power outage, he confesses and then there is a cover up. It's some kind of a flimsy story about some power lines in Ohio going out first. I think there was some payola or possibly 4 Jaw has some pictures of someone important in a compromising position.


Would you like to tell us which it is? Payola or Pictures?

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Old 08-18-2003, 02:15 PM
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Latest news is that State of Ohio is denying that they have ever had electricity A porn star is running for governor I wonder what her platform is Ohhh WOW.. Maybe we could saw California off, and float it off to sea!!
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Old 08-18-2003, 02:26 PM
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Your car doesn't by any chance happen to need 1.4 gigawatts does it?
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Old 08-18-2003, 03:02 PM
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SHhhhh....Willy's! Your gonna give all the secrets away!

Quote:
Would you like to tell us which it is? Payola or Pictures?
Sorry I took so long to respond Vick, the answer of course is pictures. You know those little lipstick cameras will fit almost anywhere! My only problem of course is how to get it out without a visit to the emergency room.
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Old 08-18-2003, 06:19 PM
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Shank, Ohio denies any wrong doing in the electric cover up It was all Canada...Canada I tell you! There is no truth that a porn star is running for govenor. I 'd have to see those platforms first. errrrr. I mean her platform first. ( I didn't know they were called that)
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Old 08-19-2003, 08:22 AM
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Originally posted by 38 special
Shank, Ohio denies any wrong doing in the electric cover up It was all Canada...Canada I tell you! There is no truth that a porn star is running for govenor. I 'd have to see those platforms first. errrrr. I mean her platform first. ( I didn't know they were called that)
Well, we do have a certified porn star running for governor in California. And Larry Flynt, and Arnold Schwarzenegger, and an engineer here in town whom I fired a few years ago, and Gary Coleman, and lieutenant Governor Cruz Bustamante (that last name translates "big breasts") who gave his candidacy speech in Spanish and who is an avowed Marxist whose main platform is to shut down the border check point and cede the western US back to Mexico, and 150 or so other assorted folks. Funny thing is, ANY of them would be an improvement over what we now have!
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Old 08-19-2003, 09:40 AM
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Willys, we're in some deep $#!t. Are you sure you don't want to run? Dan
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