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Old 11-16-2004, 06:58 PM
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History Lesson for non-girleymen

I received this in an e-mail today. It is all in fun and not meant to upset any girleymen, opps I meant anyone.

Subject: History Lesson

This is not funny if your are a democrat, so don't read it.
If you are a republican, you will smile.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

History began some 12,000 years ago. Humans existed as members of small
bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains in
the summer & would go to the beach & live on fish & lobster in winter.

The 2 most important events in all of history were the invention of beer &
the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer.
These were the foundation of modern civilization & together were the
catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2 distinct subgroups: Liberals &
Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered it required grain & that was the beginning of
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so
while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be
invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were
formed.

Some men spent their days tracking & killing animals to B-B-Q at night while
they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as "the
Conservative movement."

Other men who were weaker & less skilled at hunting learned to live off the
conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's & doing the sewing,
fetching & hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became
known as 'girleymen.'

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the
invention of group therapy & group hugs & the concept of Democratic voting
to decide how to divide the meat & beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the
*******.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white
wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well
done. Sushi, tofu, & French food are standard liberal fare. Another
interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have higher
testosterone levels than their men.

Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in
Hollywood & group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated
hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat & still provide for
their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,
construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate
executives, soldiers, athletes & generally anyone who works productively
outside government. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives
who want to work for a living

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers &
decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more
enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in
Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the
Wild West was tame & created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.
--

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Old 11-16-2004, 08:37 PM
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good stuff...... but i still like cats
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Old 11-16-2004, 08:40 PM
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Thats OK akm I think cat is red meat.
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Old 11-20-2004, 08:01 PM
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That's the greatest thing EVER!

akm,
have you heard of a huntin' cat (as in kitty, not a tiger or lion)? Besides my neighbor's cat who brings dead rodents home sometimes.

Thats why dogs are better. They're loyal, generally obey, and require no smelly litterbox. They also help hunt for things that would fill more than 2% of an average person's stomach.
-matt
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Old 11-20-2004, 08:36 PM
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Some girley men will do other jobs for beer.......
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Old 11-20-2004, 08:41 PM
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I hope the fact that I like my steaks well done and then some doesn't mean that I'm liberal....
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Old 11-20-2004, 10:59 PM
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I hope the fact that I like my steaks well done and then some doesn't mean that I'm liberal....
Na It just means yer taste buds need to be edumacated
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Old 11-21-2004, 06:13 AM
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That was just to funny!

HOWEVER!
Once NAIRB wakes up and sees this, its to the DUMP!!!

If you look at the dump there is a pattern developing.

Last edited by BarryK; 11-21-2004 at 06:26 AM.
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Old 11-21-2004, 06:35 AM
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Except the import beer part, Americans don't know what good beer is.
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Old 11-21-2004, 08:17 PM
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406,
I emailed this out after you sent it to me I've had about 15 responses back 90 % good but I did send to my liberal friends (well use to be) also. Oh they did not like!
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Old 11-21-2004, 08:57 PM
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HaHa, that good Barryk,

However it is all in fun, the election is over Bush won. It is ok to poke fun at Bush, Kerry what ever, but people need to move forward no matter who is our president is.

406chevelle
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