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Old 11-03-2005, 12:37 AM
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If My Body Were A Car

I don't know who the author is, but my wife forwarded this to me from one of her online buddies:

Quote:
If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about
trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches
in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not
the worst of it.

My fenders are too wide to be considered stylish. They were once as
sleek as a little MG; now they look more like an old Buick.

My seat cushions have split open at the seams. My seats are sagging.
Seat belts? I gave up all belts when Krispy Creme opened a shop in my
neighborhood!

Air bags? Forget it. The only bags I have these days are under my
eyes. Not counting the saddlebags, of course.

I have soooooo many miles on my odometer. Sure, I've been many places
and seen many things, but when's the last time an appraiser factored
life experiences against depreciation?

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up
close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and
skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it - almost every time I sneeze, cough or
sputter..... either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!
Here was my response:

Actually, that pretty well describes the kind of car that hotrodders drool over. Others see the faded shine and dents and so they routinely dump one for another; hotrodders see the art and beauty in the original chassis and hang on. Funny how heads always turn for one of the old fat-fendered cars when the original beauty is coaxed out, but nobody notices a new one that's fresh off the lot.

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Old 11-05-2005, 10:52 PM
ChevelleSS_LS6's Avatar
Jeep XJ and a Javelin
 
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makes me want a 1953 Buick Roadmaster

oh, those are beautiful cars... (that is a link/\)
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Old 11-06-2005, 08:11 PM
1982 SS's Avatar
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I'd like one of those too, but I know of a '54 Caddy that would lend itself to the ratty look quite nicely...
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Old 11-06-2005, 10:10 PM
grouch's Avatar
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I think it was a '53 Buick grille that crazygutgut pasted on my '49 Olds in Hot Rod Art.
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Old 11-07-2005, 06:42 PM
1982 SS's Avatar
Flamethrower
 

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Either way, it's still a sweet ride...

I'm still coming up ideas if I can get this Caddy though... only (two) drawbacks, its a four-door (no problem to me) and it has no rear window.
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