items on manufactures instructions
Items found on manufactures' instructions:
On hairdryer instructions:
Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
Frozen dinner that says:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
On Tesco's Tirimisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer bread pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boots'(pharmacy chain in the UK) children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: Keep out of children.
On a string of Chinese made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
I saw this on the <a href="http://www.ifsja.org" target="_blank">www.ifsja.org</a> website and thought I would pass it along.
It is NECESSARY in many cases for the manufacturers to add this information to their products so SOME people know what NOT to do with their product. I am sure law suites have been filed and WON in some of these cases of misunderstood product use by certain people. I wonder if anyone ever lit both ends of their cigerett and suied for burning their mouth?
One of these days some smart politician ( an oxymoron) will pass the dummass law, if you sue someone for something stupid that you did, you get a swift boot in the arse and called a dummass. Maybe it would slow down some of the frivolous lawsuits. <img src="graemlins/boxing.gif" border="0" alt="[boxing]" /> Dan
"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not." - Mark Twain
Ran across this which contains a few more:
Stupid instructions for dummies
The words "watch this," could very well be someone's last if instructions on the labels of manufactured products are not followed carefully.
Such as medicine bottles: "Take one tablet by mouth." This is for the person who has confusion of what orifice to use when inserting a tablet.
Chances are if you see any of these "stupid instructions," which seem like common sense to the common person, someone, somewhere out there has tried it -- some have profited heavily from it -- such as the woman who spilled hot coffee on herself, costing McDonald's Corp. millions in damages.
As a result, many companies, including Dunkin' Donuts have put labels on their Styrofoam cups warning us that hot coffee is actually hot.
Even though an area attorney denies that labeling disclaimers are to protect the manufacturer from liability, he does say that they are "just being extra careful."
"I don't know of any legal requirement that manufacturers have to do, as far as labeling goes, for liability purposes," said David Lin of the Steinbert and Lin law firm in Port Charlotte. "I think the manufacturer is just being safe."
Buying a mattress? For those who are afraid of the "mattress police" when tempted to remove the tags from their resting places, have no fear. Unlike other warnings, it is not intended for the consumer.
"The tags are required by law, for the seller of the bedding," Lin said. "The buyer may remove them."
This label is required because of a relatively new law regulating the sale of "used" mattresses, where the components of old mattresses are utilized, but are recovered with new ticking.
For the lawn maintenance-challenged, a warning label appears on lawn mowers that reads: "Warning: When motor is running the blade is turning."
That would imply someone has actually turned the lawn mower over while it was still in operation and checked this out.
For people who have inadequate ventilation in their bathrooms, that pesky mold is a source of contention. If you attempt to purchase a cleaner specifically designed to remove bathroom mold deposits, the label will read: "Only use in well-ventilated areas." What is a sterile environment to do?
Food labels constantly insult the intelligence of homo sapiens. Further proof the human race is doomed through stupidity can be found in some additional label instructions on consumer goods:
* On a can of powdered infant formula: "Mix with water before serving."
* Directions on Lunchables Nachos: "Dip chips in cheese and salsa."
* Microwave popcorn is packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it. Direction No. 1 reads: "Remove plastic."
* Grocery store pizza instructions, located on the bottom, read: "Do not turn upside down."
* During Halloween, many children choose to don a Superman costume, but look closely: "Wearing of this costume does not enable you to fly."
* For the sleep deprived, who purchase a box of Nytol, you may be surprised to learn that it will actually cause drowsiness.
Household appliances and products are not immune from stupid instructions.
Strollers have been known to display disclaimers such as, "Remove child before folding."
Industrial-sized washers at local laundry establishments have a sign: "Do not put any person in this washer." Does this mean you have to remove your clothes before washing them?
For the unscientific, the warnings on salt containers read: high in sodium.
A Rowenta iron label warns us to use the appliance properly and not to cut corners in time management: "Do not iron clothes on body."
If airline safety was bothersome to you of late, or if you have a fear of flying, have no fear: There is a warning label for pilots as well. On the back of the pilot's seat on a NATO AWAC aircraft, a sign warns: "Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing."
Do you feel safe? Or does this mean a bet was made and the gauntlet was thrown?
Keith Laakkonen, land management coordinator for the Florida Department of Environmental Protection, found a label on a tube of lip balm that disturbed him.
"Look at this, do not apply to eyes," Laakkonen laughed as he shook his head in disbelief. "I wonder how many corneas have been damaged from overuse of this product?"
And another one:
On a lawnmower I had was a big label which read:
"WARNING WHEN MOTOR IS RUNNING- THE BLADE IS TURNING!"
We once bought a grocery store pizza and the instruction were on the bottom, so we turned it upside down to see how long to cook it etc., and low and behold the first instruction was DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN!
Warning on a curling iron: Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice…
My bathroom has inadequate ventilation and therefore, develops mold spots in the lower corners. I attempted to purchase a cleaner specifically designed to remove bathroom mold deposits. The directions on the product label stated, "Only use in well ventilated areas."
Seen on the bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle: "Do not open here."
On a bottle of spray paint: "Do not spray in your face."
On a bottle of bathtub cleaner: For best results, start with clean bathtub before use.
On a container of lighter fluid: WARNING: Contents flammable!
On a bottle of hand lotion: Warning: Starts healing skin on contact.
On a box of household nails: CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!
Microwave popcorn is packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it. Direction #1 is Remove plastic.
On a television commercial that says it cleans dentures 4 times better. Below in small print it said "Lab test: (their product) vs. water.
On a television commercial I saw it said they their denture paste was better than any other. BELOW IT, it said in small letters, vs. using no adhesive.
I have a full-face motorcycle helmet with a giant arrow pointing to the front. I can only guess that some idiot put the helmet on backwards, jumped on a bike and hurt himself. This is to protect to manufacturer from future lawsuits.
One day I went to a wall-mart out of state and I went to buy a blow dryer when I read the warnings it said "DO NOT BLOW DRY IN SLEEP"
Seen on the back of a drink bottle label: "Do not peel label off."
On a Band-Aid box: "For serious injuries, seek medical attention."
On a can of powdered infant formula: "Mix with water before serving." Like I'm going to spoon it to my baby dry!
This stupid label was found on a can of Woolite carpet cleaner: "Safe for carpets, too!"
This label was found on the BOTTOM of a box of glass ornaments: "Do not turn upside down."
On a box of Frosted Cheerio's, the logo, "Tastes so good this box never closes," is located just underneath another announcement: "To close: place tab here."
On a plastic orange juice can: "100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate."
I once saw an ad for some type of contest on a candy bar. The wrapper said "No purchase necessary - Details Inside."
Directions for eating Lunchables Nachos: Dip chips in cheese and salsa.
The golf carts on the course I worked at have warning labels saying, "Not for highway use."
On Clorox Fresh Care: (for cleaning out odors from fabric) "Safe to use in households with pets Warning: Fresh Care is NOT intended to be sprayed directly on pets."
While working at a large medical center in the Midwest, a construction worker was admitted with a large hammer sticking out of his head. Seems he was in an altercation with another gentleman. On the side of the hammer were the words, 'Use protective eyewear.'
On the back of the Pilots seat on NATO AWAC Aircraft (E-3A), is a sign that states: "Seat must be facing forward for take off and landing."
I came upon a bottle of children's cough medicine stating "Caution: May cause drowsiness; do not drive or operate heavy machinery"
On the label of Sterno is a warning that says, "Do not use near fire or flame." Check it out!
Seen on a container of salt:
Warning: High in sodium
Seen on computer instructions: Visit our site for further instructions. <a href="http://www.pc.com/pc/instructions.htm" target="_blank">http://www.pc.com/pc/instructions.htm</a>
On a hose nozzle there was a warning that said: "Do not spray into electrical outlet."
Seen on an industrial size washer in our local laundry establishment was the (large lettered) sign: "Warning: Do not put any person in this washer."
There is also a stroller on the market with the warning, "Remove child before folding."
I saw a car ad depicting cars driving in the water with fins like sharks. At the end of the ad in small letters it read: "Caution, do not drive underwater"
reminds me of a quote i saw awhile back:
"think of someone of average intelligence, then realize that half the world is stupider than they are."
i think the older you get the more you realize that there is a lot of stupid people on this planet.
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