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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 06-19-2003, 12:54 PM
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Jokes

I've been looking for some good jokes,so I guess that I've decided to turn to you guys for help..Plus,I think that it will give us a good laugh.Anyone post any joke that you know .Here's one that I thought was pretty good:

This woman was speeding and this State Trooper pulls her over..He gets out of his patrol car and walks to her door and ask's for her driver's license..As she hands him her license,she says,"Let me guess..You're gonna give me one of those Invitations to the State Trooper's Ball??"..The Tropper keeps writing on her ticket and replies a few seconds later with,"State Trooper's don't have balls."..He starts writing again,and then looks back up,realizing what he said..Then,he just walks back to his car and leaves.

I thought that was funny when I first heard that.Maybe you guys will get a kick out of it also.Submit all you jokes..Blonde,Traditional,Dirty,etc.Anything .

Jacob Middleton

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Old 06-19-2003, 01:43 PM
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Check out the joke thread, i just brought it to the top for ya!
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Old 06-19-2003, 01:52 PM
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This little boy is sitting on the corner with a bottle of turpintine,he's shaking and watching the bubbles go round and round. pretty soon a priest comes along,he's watching for awhile till he can't take anymore and he says whats that you have there son.The kid looks up, holds up the bottle and says this here is the most powerful liquid in the world,this here is turpintine. the priest says oh no son, the most powerful liquid in the world is holy water, why you put a couple of drops of holy water on a pregnant womans stomach and she'll pass a babey boy.The kid jumps up and says s&#t that ain't nuthin you put a couple drops of this on a cats ***** and it'll pass a motor cicle.
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Old 06-19-2003, 01:54 PM
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Very good
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Old 06-19-2003, 02:08 PM
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What's the differance between a woman with PMS and a pitbull.









Lipstick
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Old 06-19-2003, 04:22 PM
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This guys movin down the highway, 65 in a 55 and a cop pulls out behind him, lights on and pulls in behind the guy. The guy hits the gas and now he's doing 95 and this cops is still behind him now with lights and siren going. The guy floors it and now he's doing 120 but the cop is still right on his tail. The guy decides to pull over and the cop walks up the the car and tells him if he can tell him a story he hasn't heard before he will let him go. The guy thinks and says My X-wife just got a new boy friend and he's a cop and I thought you were him and trying to return her. The cop let the guy go.


Todd


Rat Rods Rule!
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Old 06-19-2003, 09:02 PM
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These are good ones guys!Keep it up...

Jacob Middleton
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Old 06-20-2003, 12:00 AM
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sick

this guy calls in to work sick one day, guy says--boss i'm too sick to come to work today. the boss says well how sick are you? guy says--well i'm at home f**king my sister how sick is that?

i will return with some better stuff as i think of it.

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Old 06-20-2003, 12:46 AM
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I was on my way to work tonight hauling ***** as usual, just following the traffic flow, when this state trooper comes up behind me from the off-ramp and pulls me over. I roll down the window and hand him my license. He looks at it and asks what the big hurry is. I told him that I was running late for work. He asks me "Well what do you do that is so important that you have to speed to get there?"
I told him that I was a professional Rectum Stretcher. Oh yeah he says, and what do you exactly do at work? I said "Well I start with one finger and work it around until I can get 2 in there. Then I start stretching it until I can get my whole hand in there, then both hands. Then I start stretching it out until I can get a foot in there to stand on it and I stretch it out until its about head high."
He then proceeds to ask " And what exactly do you do with a 6 foot *********?!"
I said "Well usually we put them in a uniform and stick them on an overpass in a car with lights and a siren!"

Later,
WEIMER
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Old 06-20-2003, 08:52 AM
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Me and my wife had to go to walmart,just as I got parked the shifter quite working. I told my wife to go on in and I would fix the car.my wife returned later to see a small group of people around the car. On closer inspection,she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts,his lack of uderpants turned privet parts into glaringly public ones.Unable to stand the embarrassment,she dutifully stepped forward,quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.The mechanic however,had to have three stitches in his forhead.

Troy;
69s forever;
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Old 06-20-2003, 08:53 AM
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Oh yeh,weimer that was sick.
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Old 06-21-2003, 05:01 PM
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How many kids with A.D.D does it take to screw in a light bulb??
Wana go bike riding.
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Old 06-21-2003, 05:33 PM
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FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS!
 

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what do you call the music that people play in theere car?


















car-tunes! he he he. get it cartoons!:p
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Old 06-21-2003, 07:31 PM
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a baby seal walks into a club.

*BADUM CHING!*

haha, get it? clubbing baby seals...lol :p
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Old 06-21-2003, 08:27 PM
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Dont know if this qualifys as a joke but thought it was pretty funny.
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