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Old 01-18-2005, 09:56 PM
akm akm is offline
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the LARK program

A person wrote a letter to the White House complaining about the
treatment of a captive taken during the Afghanistan war. Below is a copy
of the response.

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C.

Dear Concerned Citizen:

Thank you for your recent letter criticizing our treatment of the Taliban
and Al Qaeda detainees currently held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
The administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was
heard loud and clear here in Washington

You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like
you, we are creating the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the
"Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short.
In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided
to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your detainee has been
selected and scheduled for transportation to your residence next
Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is to be cared
for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of
admonishment. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your
standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly
recommended in your letter.

Although Ahmed is sociopathic and extremely violent, we hope that your
sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help
him overcome this character flaw. Perhaps you are correct in describing
these problems as mere cultural differences.

Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat
and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail
clippers. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive
devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep
those items locked up, unless you feel that this might offend him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters since he
views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly
sensitive subject for him. He has been known to show violent tendencies
around women who fail to comply with the dress code that he considers
appropriate, but I'm sure that over time they will come to enjoy the
anonymity offered by the bhurka. Just remind them that it is all part of
respecting his culture and his religious beliefs.

Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you
inform us of the proper way to do our job. Take good care of Ahmed
and good luck!

Cordially,

Don Rumsfeld
------------------------

just a joke, don't get your panties in a ruffle

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Old 01-19-2005, 05:00 AM
RCastle's Avatar
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Funny,I copied and sent that to many people. Good way to start a morning.
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Old 01-19-2005, 07:09 AM
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oooooh! When do I get my terrorist! I want one with long hair so we can braid each-other's hair!!!

K
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Old 01-19-2005, 08:02 AM
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or Jeff, or Doc, or...
 

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Old 01-19-2005, 01:16 PM
RCastle's Avatar
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Quote:
oooooh! When do I get my terrorist! I want one with long hair so we can braid each-other's hair!!!


Hey Killer,the letter did not mention that you have to bathe them also.
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Old 01-19-2005, 01:32 PM
akm akm is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by RCastle
Hey Killer,the letter did not mention that you have to bathe them also.
they only bathe once a year anyway
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Old 01-19-2005, 02:22 PM
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One high pressure water hose attached to a hydrant,pull the ball valve open and WHOOOOSH, clean terrorist. Hell,make him a martyr,instead of water,use a highly flammmable liquid. Be careful though,you do not want the T.P.A on your case.(Terrorist Protection Agency)
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Old 01-19-2005, 02:30 PM
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Navy's "Terrorist Catch and Release Program"

I like the way the Navy released this fellow. But too bad we had to lose a Fairlane in the process.



Ed www.edgesz28.com
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