FWIW, I've not found it to be necessary to put anything on the female threads- just on the bolt threads. I use Permatex #2, myself. It's not as slippery as RTV or most thread sealers, so I add a couple ft/lb to compensate.
If I were to use RTV, I agree- no skin time. BTW, it is fine to use. It doesn't set up immediately in the absence of air, so will still be pliable when a retorque is done. After an extended period of time and heat cycling, it does eventually set up, and this is born out when disassembling engines that have had RTV used on the head bolt threads. Permatex #2 doesn't harden, but is much more viscous than RTV.
As for lubing the bolt head/head surface interface, I use a smudge of moly lube around the head's bolt hole surfaces. This is just a matter of convenience, it makes little difference whether the bolt or the head's surface gets lube- as long as one or the other gets it. RTV will be a poor lubricant in this instance (between the bolt and the head)- way too much pressure for it to truly act as a lubricant, IMO. But better than nothing.