this is what i cant figure out. me and my girlfreind who i lovingly respect(hooker like at times) were talking aboput marriage. i dont get it. in a time when there was the man of the house, and women stayed at home, i understand. it would be important then. now with both people working, and the quality of women, i dont see that it is anything other than screwing the man out of everything. it was spoken that she gets half of everything. she said i get half of her stuff too.this is rediculous i wouldnt ever want any of her crap: little statues,old shoes,clothes,crappy jewelery. on the other hand i have tools, cars, massive electronics, and she would only take them for there inherint value. shes says im materialistic, but shes the one looking at a PAYDAY! lets look at debt, i have a student loan to pay, but i got a diploma. she pays for a recreation on credit. everone around my seems to be getting married and having kids. this is making it hard for us to hang out with friends without being constantly dragged through barbed wire. she also metioned security, but when was the last time marrage stopped someone from cheating.

why are there still dowrys to pay, for this trash ?

who thinks people should just co-habitate?

i feel better now,
i luvs you babes

if your going into a marriage thinking about the ineveitable divorce? you shouldnt get married.

As a Minister, who performs weddings on a regular basis, I see this alot. I married a couple once and the guy joked about the divorce DURING MY CEREMONY. turns out he had at least 3 girlfriends and was under the mistaken impression that his wife (now ex) was rich.

Theres really no reason to "get married" unless you want to share work benefits, or buy real estate together. Otherwise just stay living together...

As corny as it seems Marriage is a commitment, they dont teach you this in school, in fact if you watch celebrities they are advertisements for Divorce. If you cant make the commitment. DONT DO IT...

The fact that you call her...."Your Hooker" speaks volumes..................

Maybe, you don't deserve any better................just my 2 cents.

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try not to have any kids.

speechless!!!!!!!!!

I almost peed. I concur.

K

That's what I was thinking. If you can't refer to her as anything more respectful than "hooker" I think you'd be best taking Ghetto Jet's advice. Don't have kids.

"She pays for a vacation she took with some other guy"
she seems to have the same level of commitment as you.
I would guess by your attitude she irritates you to say the least,
time for someone to take a walk ?

Walk? Run like hell.... "Ummmm, Dear, I'm going out for a pack of smokes"

so "hooker" is what you found offensive in that ? you want me to edit that to women out of respect ?

the way i see it i will become responsible for all her stuff. she will just keep living the same. its too bad i cant just walk away. there have to be a lot of 20 somethings going through this very struggle. you work hard and become independeant and happy, get a promo and buy the big tv. you "hook" up with a cutey , and find it almost only skin deep. things i want, i work hard and buy. i put in the overtime. shes more instant gratification with a credit card. her past boyfreinds supposedly took care of her. bought her stuff when they must have cheated on her. i dont want to sound like moneys always on my mind ! lets switch to lifestyle. she doesnt cook , clean , or do laundry to well. she wants kids but has never had a pet to take care of, and shows little responsiblility. im scared for my future kids, and want them to have a mother like i had. i could complain forever. also i could talk forever about someone i care so much about.

there is a real question, since we are pretty equal now, why are there still dowrys to pay?

remember A team the tv show ? there would always be bullets fling but nobody got shot. when bombs exploded people just went soaring over debris. it seems no one ever got hurt, in all the rage of war. thats pretty much what im hoping for these days. so many divorce, or stay together for the kids. i just want to get through the war without getting hurt..

spank,

American culture has reduced the Marriage to a reversible commitment, where promises can be broken and lack of trust is acceptable behavior. The "Me First" attitude which is more prevalent today than ever further complicates the possibility of a successful marriage.

If you marry for the wrong reasons, you've also married the wrong person and you're doomed from the start. If you marry the right person for you, then you're in for the best times in your life.

And finally, dog people should never, ever marry cat people!

To Spankynuts................

If she is so bad, run the other way. Nothing is stopping you. If she is like you say....you will never be happy with her.

When you made the "Hooker" comment, it just told us that you had no respect for women. You may find one that you respect......maybe not.

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Spank-
This girl isn't for you, if you have that many issues with her. Move on, or adjust your views. Maybe your just not IN LOVE. Wait 5 years,and then decide.

the benefit of marriage is not the money, and thats all you seem to be concerned with is "your share" this attitude is the wrong one for starting a marriage but something tells me your gonna marry this poor girl anyways, becuase you are "20 something" and lord knows that 20 somethings think they know EVERYTHING.

Has it ever occurred to you that you might loose your job? then who will you count on? My guess? your girlfriend. What happens if you fall down a flight of steps and break your back? Who will take care of you? probably your GF? A marriage is about a partnership, "having each others back" so to say. I have been with my wife over 10 years, I cant imaigne sitting down and "balancing" out who owes who what. Im sure most married guys on this board will tell you that "money is just money" You share what you have, and most married couples dont "pay each other back". In my case my money is my wifes, and her money is mine. You are selfish and greedy, by the sounds of it. You arent prepared to get married, grow up a little first. Also I suggest start dating other women and stop leading the current one on.

I also dont understand what you are referring to as a dowry? Unless this was a prearranged agreement there are no Dowries. ALso if you are SO against DOWRIES are you still gonna let her dad pay for the wedding??

see now whos disrespecting who?

you old guys need to wake up, and look at the liberal society that replaced yours. things are way different now. what you turn 35 and start to enter a alzhimers' dimensia and think everything is wonderful in gods ' glory. thats not how its is, you have to secure yourself. i am not greedy, i just came from nothing. would you hand over all your saving and posessions to a 23 year old and not think about it first? you have to be insane !

i also believe that a 23 year old is more likely to cheat than a 33

i am guilty of ignorance i dont think dowery means what i think it means. so laugh at that....

spank,