Man, everybody here seems so bummed out. How about everybody post the best classic joke that they've ever heard. Try to keep it tasteful.
OK I'll start. This is a favorite from the late Buddy Hackett.
A city slicker goes out duck hunting one day, in a rural area. Well sure enough a flock of mallards comes flying overhead. Cityboy pulls up and fires. Sure enough , the big drake in the lead, falls form the sky. The proud hunter races over to the neighboring field to claim his trophy. When he gets to the field however, he finds a big, brawny farmer picking up the duck.
Hey, that's my duck!!!,yells Cityboy.
"Nope! It's my field and it's my duck " replies the farmer.
I ain't leavin' without that duck!! , growls Cityboy.
"OK", says the farmer. Let's settle this with Farmer's Law."
Farmer's Law?? What the hell's that ?? asks Cityboy.
"Well," says the farmer, "I'll kick you in the balls, then you kick me in the balls, over and over, and the guy who gives in first, loses the duck."
The enraged hunter sizes up the big man wearing the size 14, steel toed Kodiak's. And he decides he'll do anything to take home the prized fowl.
"Go ahead, Clodhopper. Give it your best shot, 'cause I'm takin' the dam duck home, with me!!" Sneered the Cityboy.
So, with a mighty kick, the big man's boot connected squarely with it's intended target, sending it's victim several feet in the air, in excruciating pain.
After several minutes of recovery, the hunter staggered to his feet."OK, Big Boy" he growls. "Now it's my turn!!"
The smiling farmer simply dropped the duck at the feet of Cityboy, and said "I give up, you win.", and walked away laughing hysterically.
Oh well, I tried. kitkar
OK I'll start. This is a favorite from the late Buddy Hackett.
A city slicker goes out duck hunting one day, in a rural area. Well sure enough a flock of mallards comes flying overhead. Cityboy pulls up and fires. Sure enough , the big drake in the lead, falls form the sky. The proud hunter races over to the neighboring field to claim his trophy. When he gets to the field however, he finds a big, brawny farmer picking up the duck.
Hey, that's my duck!!!,yells Cityboy.
"Nope! It's my field and it's my duck " replies the farmer.
I ain't leavin' without that duck!! , growls Cityboy.
"OK", says the farmer. Let's settle this with Farmer's Law."
Farmer's Law?? What the hell's that ?? asks Cityboy.
"Well," says the farmer, "I'll kick you in the balls, then you kick me in the balls, over and over, and the guy who gives in first, loses the duck."
The enraged hunter sizes up the big man wearing the size 14, steel toed Kodiak's. And he decides he'll do anything to take home the prized fowl.
"Go ahead, Clodhopper. Give it your best shot, 'cause I'm takin' the dam duck home, with me!!" Sneered the Cityboy.
So, with a mighty kick, the big man's boot connected squarely with it's intended target, sending it's victim several feet in the air, in excruciating pain.
After several minutes of recovery, the hunter staggered to his feet."OK, Big Boy" he growls. "Now it's my turn!!"
The smiling farmer simply dropped the duck at the feet of Cityboy, and said "I give up, you win.", and walked away laughing hysterically.
Oh well, I tried. kitkar