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Old 10-20-2004, 10:12 PM
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When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended
> > victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would
> > be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire
> > wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger
> > again. This time it worked.
> >
> > **********************
> >
> > The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat
> > cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted
> > a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting
> > negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself.
> > He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The chef's claim
> > was approved.
> >
> > **********************
> >
> > A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for
> > his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle
> > to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he
> > shot her.
> >
> > **********************
> >
> > After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean
> > bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed
> > to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped.
> > Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a
> > nearby bus-stop and offered everyone waiting there a free
> > ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital,
> > telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and
> > prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered
> > for 3 days.
> >
> > Damn I like that one... (original sender's comment)
> >
> > **********************
> >
> > An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering
> > from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train.
> > When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police
> > that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his
> > head to a moving train before he was hit.
> >
> > **********************
> > A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give
> > her an examination to determine the cause of her daughters
> > swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to
> > say "Your daughter is pregnant." The mother turned red with
> > fury and she argued with the doctor that her daughter was a
> > good girl and would never compromise her reputation by
> > having sex with a boy. The doctor faced the window and silently
> > watched the horizon. The mother became enraged and screamed,
> > "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to
> > me?" "Yes, of course I am paying attention ma'am. It's just
> > that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the East,
> > and three wise men came. And I was hoping that they would
> > show up again.
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