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lucas wiring repair- funny

4K views 27 replies 11 participants last post by  americanLT1 
#1 ·
i was reading about lucas wiring and electrics and one guy stated he only knew enough about electrical systems to make the wires smoke!!! another guy says when that happens you have to put the smoke back in the wires to make them work right.
they actually make a kit to do that!!!

http://www3.telus.net/bc_triumph_registry/smoke.htm :thumbup:
 
#3 ·
Lucas wiring

Aw, yes. Good ol' Lucas wiring. The prince of darkness. There actually is no wire inside the soggy cloth insulation - just a magic smoke, of a somewhat blue-green colour, and when the smoke leaks out the wiring is done for. Tragically, the cloth lets the smoke leak out a lot! :D The leaks are also helped by the quaint design of most Lucas-wired vehicles, having perhaps one or two Hi-amp fuses for the whole car! Yup, a 45 amp fuse gives GREAT protection for your dome-light circuit! :D
 
#4 ·
Lucas is the patent holder of the short circuit.

Lucas invented the first intermittent wipers.

Lucas invented the the self dimming headlights.

Lucas had 2 styles of 3 position switches, dim, flicker and off and the second one was smoke, smolder and burn.

The original Anti-theft device, Lucas electronics

back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered that did not suck.

QC called and told Lucas engineering they had trouble with his design shorting out so he made the wires longer.

Its not true that Lucas, in 1947 tried to get parliament to repeal Ohms Law. They withdrew thier efforts when they met to much resistance

gcrmcc
 
#6 ·
No clue about all that, but my college electronics teacher used to say that all the things we were using worked on smoke. Release the smoke and they didn't work anymore. He then fried a few things (diodes, resistors, etc.) to prove the point. When they smoke...they don't work anymore. :nono:

I assume the British sports cars work on the same principle. :rolleyes:
 
#7 ·
66GMC said:
It has been said that the English have developed a taste for warm beer ... as a result of owning Lucas refrigerators. :D
Doc Here, :pimp:


Geeze....

Youse Guy's will Believe ANYTHING.. :nono:

Everyone KNOWS when the British Ale gets warm, they just stick it in the LUCAS Microwave for 35 seconds...and it comes out a perfect 40 degrees! :thumbup:


Doc :pimp:
 
#8 ·
Dave57210 said:
Aw, yes. Good ol' Lucas wiring. The prince of darkness. There actually is no wire inside the soggy cloth insulation - just a magic smoke, of a somewhat blue-green colour, and when the smoke leaks out the wiring is done for. Tragically, the cloth lets the smoke leak out a lot! :D The leaks are also helped by the quaint design of most Lucas-wired vehicles, having perhaps one or two Hi-amp fuses for the whole car! Yup, a 45 amp fuse gives GREAT protection for your dome-light circuit! :D

Doc here, :pimp:

See..That's ANOTHER Patented LUCAS device..the Cloth harness..

It has a 2 Fold purpose.. :confused:

It KEEPS the wire inside from DRYING up and forming Powder Corrosion in the wire and on the terminals.. :sweat:

The Second, when the Color code is too far gone to read..just remove it..toss it in the washing machine with a gallon of bleach...then you can dye the single wires ANY color you may need/ like.. then reinstall.. :spank:

Those Britts were REALLY ahead of their time.. :drunk:


Doc :pimp:
 
#10 ·
gcrmcc said:
The Lucas motto, "Get home before dark"

gcrmcc

Doc here, :pimp:

Actually, LUCAS got rid of that motto on the Latter Model British cars... :confused:

The emergency road repair kit was upgraded from Spare, Flares, jack and lug wrench, to include a hand Crank, and two Coleman Kerosene lamps..

Wonder if there is any truth in the rumor that tow trucks would come out to "Jump Start " LUCAS systems, and end up with the tow rig having massive shorts when the cables touched the LUCAS wires.. :mad: NAW..Couldn't be...


Didn't London Suffer the MOST blackouts of WW II? Geeze..I WONDER if LUCAS Was in Charge of the grid ?... and Did LUCAS Sub~Contract out to Germany BEFORE the war to build their Power Grid ?...maybe THAT was why they were so mad at London..:spank:

"Never Have So FEW....."


"Given So Much........"


"To So many....."

Winnie..Speaking about LUCAS winning the 1939 Darwin awards...



Doc :pimp:
 
#11 ·
gcrmcc said:
Lucas is the patent holder of the short circuit.

Lucas invented the first intermittent wipers.

Lucas invented the the self dimming headlights.

Lucas had 2 styles of 3 position switches, dim, flicker and off and the second one was smoke, smolder and burn.

The original Anti-theft device, Lucas electronics

back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered that did not suck.

QC called and told Lucas engineering they had trouble with his design shorting out so he made the wires longer.

Its not true that Lucas, in 1947 tried to get parliament to repeal Ohms Law. They withdrew thier efforts when they met to much resistance

gcrmcc


Doc here, :pimp:


Another Little known patent They hold, purely by accident..while redesigning the tail lamp system on the MG...

They stumbled upon the ignition system for the Space Shuttle...


The NEW LUCAS Engine...5 stroke.. :confused:
  • Intake..
  • Compression...
  • Turnsignal....
  • Ignition.....
  • Exhaust....


I heard a rumor...with every new purchase of a Britt Car..you Get the ownership papers and logs, Warranty, Window sticker, and a 50% discount coupon from Ron Francis..(duty paid..)

"Buy Our Car...Please!.."


In ALL Fairness..were it not for LUCAS...

We'd all have no Idea How well GM, Ford and Mopar does it...

No gauge to set the bar by..(and if it were LUCAS, it probably would short out..)

Hey! This is Fun... :thumbup:


Doc :pimp:
 
#14 ·
you guys are hilarious but ive heard all those comments before and more except for docs comments about winston and the darwin awards and the kerosene lanterns. i built an old anglia gasser once that was wired by lucas, it was 6 volt so the wires were all twice as thick and would you believe instead of just grounding the electrics they actually had wiring harnesses from all the electrics to the - side of the battery!!! what were those guys thinking/smoking??? :pain: :pain: :pain:
 
#15 ·
lucas.............

Hi,in the 1950 s,i owned a BUNCH of english motorcycles.BSA,Triumph,AJS,Norton, and more that i dont even remember (selective memory) the one thing they all had in common was the lucas electrical system. the m.c s were fine,the lucas electrics SUCKED. my bikes were always in the shop for electrics, thank god for honda m.c.,no problems.
 
#16 ·
Doc here, :pimp:

They've Branched out , into the Computer field...

I JUST downlodad my LUCAS Spell Checker program.....

Installed it , Set all the parameters up for slow but accurate, English, Ignore Emails..yadda, yadda, yadda..

Came to my first Post , and after typing it out..right clicked "Spell Check" on me mouse..

I got a drop down flag, "spell Check", clicked on that....
















I Got an MS message..."Go ask your Mother".... :D :cool:




Doc :pimp:
 
#18 ·
Doc here, :pimp:

I am designing a NEW LUCAS Ignition switch..

It's foot print will be..:

ACC, OFF, LOCK, UNDER-DASH HEAT, START...

and am thinking about a digital dash with Readout Heads-up Display..


When you first power up, it reads.."Driver's...Place your Bets"....


Doc :pimp:
 
#19 ·
Doc here, :pimp:

I understand LUCAS just got a grant from the Government..

two research projects...

the First:

"Does Driving on the wrong side of the road effectively reverse the flow of electrons in wire...?"


And The Second:

IF all wire were run in 100% pure Cotton, would the static "Cling" help to Boost System power..? " and if you were overcharging, Could you use dryer sheets to reduce the voltage..?




More to follow... :spank:


Doc :pimp:
 
#21 ·
oldred said:
I remember sometime back seeing a chart for replacement Lucas fuses giving the AMP ratings on different size BOLTS! :rolleyes: 1/4", 3/8" 1/2", etc. I knew it was meant for a joke but I did not understand the humor behind it until now. :)

Doc here, :pimp:

The NEW LUCAS fuse panels have been replaced from amps to ounces of FIRE SUPPRESSION FLUID... :thumbup:

LUCAS looks at it this way... :confused:

It's only shorted on the power side, the other half should work.. :thumbup:


Doc :pimp:
 
#22 ·
docvette said:
...

Hey! This is Fun... :thumbup:


Doc :pimp:
You sound like you're having fun ... :D
I'll bet that with your background, along with Lucas' infamous (worldwide) reputation ...
you can actually say:

"I've got a million of them!"

Hey ... how about "Magneti Macaroni" ... we could start a whole new "roast" thread on the Italian version of Lucas. :mwink: :D
 
#25 ·
techron said:
...
66gmc-- actually my lucas stuff IS on an italian car but i havent found any "magneti macaroni" parts on it yet!!!
Their REAL name is Magneti-Marelli ...
It may have been on agricultural equipment only. (Fiat / Allis?)
I hadn't heard of them before I worked at a NAPA store that did starter / alternator overhaul.
 
#26 ·
66GMC said:
Their REAL name is Magneti-Marelli ...
It may have been on agricultural equipment only. (Fiat / Allis?)
I hadn't heard of them before I worked at a NAPA store that did starter / alternator overhaul.
66gmc, i knew what the real name was, ive seen that stuff on fiat, alpha and maybe a couple of others i cant think of. i just never heard it refered to as macaroni magnetos or whatever it was, pretty funny!!
 
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