M.S. requested joke thread - Page 11 - Hot Rod Forum : Hotrodders Bulletin Board
Hotrodders.com -- Hot Rod Forum



Register FAQ Search Today's Posts Unanswered Posts Auto Escrow Insurance Auto Loans
Hot Rod Forum : Hotrodders Bulletin Board > General Discussion> Hotrodders' Lounge> Off-Topic
User Name
Password
lost password?   |   register now

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #151 (permalink)  
Old 11-12-2003, 09:56 PM
crazy larry's Avatar
Member
 

Last journal entry: better comparison before and after shots
Last photo:
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: East Texas
Age: 43
Posts: 2,298
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
new clock for drunks....

Proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.

"What's that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.
"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk replied.
"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.
"Yup," replied the drunk.
"How's it work?" the 2nd guest asked, squinting at it.
"Watch," the drunk replied. He picked up a hammer, gave it an ear shattering pound and stepped back.

The three stood looking at one another for a moment. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed: "You ******* ... it's ten past three in the morning!"

    Advertisement
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #152 (permalink)  
Old 11-13-2003, 10:39 AM
k2mooch's Avatar
Member
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Fort Mill, SC
Age: 34
Posts: 174
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Re: new clock for drunks....

Quote:
Originally posted by crazy larry
. . . the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.
The joke wouldn't have worked out if the letters G and B were reversed in 'brass gong', but I just thought it'd be funny. Good one Larry, I like that one.


MoocH
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #153 (permalink)  
Old 11-13-2003, 11:10 AM
malc's Avatar
Living At The Speed Of Life
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Espaņa Right Coast
Age: 63
Posts: 3,241
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 86
Thanked 69 Times in 66 Posts
Little Johnny goes into his mumīs bedroom, where she is entertaining her lover.Mum quickly slips little Johnny into the wardrobe.Without warning her husband arrives home,so she pushes her lover into the wardrobe as well.
Inside the wardrobe little Johnny says"Dark in here isīnt it?"
"Yes" says lover boy."For 10$ I wonīt tell my dad"
"Damn boy,okay"and coughs up.
A week later same thing happens again.
"Dark in here isīnt it?" "Yes, how much this time?"
"25 bucks" says our little hero.
The guy pays up.
That following Sunday little Johnny is in church,in the confession box.
"Dark in here isīnt it?"
"Donīt start THAT again" says the voice from the otherside.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #154 (permalink)  
Old 11-14-2003, 09:05 AM
dinger's Avatar
Hotrodders.com Moderator
 
Last wiki edit: Health and safety in the shop or garage
Last journal entry: 36 Ford painting
Last photo:
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Visalia, Ca.
Age: 61
Posts: 2,707
Wiki Edits: 1

Thanks: 102
Thanked 108 Times in 74 Posts
The Trucker and the Blonde
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of
her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers
the window and she says, "Hi, my name is Linda Rose and you are losing some
of
your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the
truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She
jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker
lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly,
"Hi, my name is Linda Rose and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking
his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the
street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of
breath,
the blonde gets out of her car, runs up and knocks on the truck door. The
trucker lowers the window. Again she says, "Hi, my name is Linda Rose, and
you
are losing some of your load!" When the light turns green the trucker revs
up and races to the next light.
When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back
to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he
says..."Hi, my name is Gary, it's winter in Wisconsin and I'm driving the
SALT TRUCK!"
__________________
"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not." - Mark Twain
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #155 (permalink)  
Old 11-14-2003, 05:17 PM
bullheimer's Avatar
NEVER use credit cards!
 

Last journal entry: car with tt2's, (stockers going back on)
Last photo:
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: North of Seattle
Posts: 2,529
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 0
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
sounds familiar. but it's a long thread. i posted this about a year ago. for all i know its on the first page: so i'll change a couple thangs:
howz a hillbilly mother know when her daughters on the rag?
her son's dick tastes funny.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #156 (permalink)  
Old 11-14-2003, 05:19 PM
malc's Avatar
Living At The Speed Of Life
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Espaņa Right Coast
Age: 63
Posts: 3,241
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 86
Thanked 69 Times in 66 Posts
Little Johnny is watching TV with his dad.
It is the live broadcast of a rocket launch.
"Gosh" says Johnny,"It must be great to be shot into space"
"If I hadīnt been drunk at the time, you wouldīve been"
replies his father.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #157 (permalink)  
Old 11-17-2003, 05:48 PM
tundrafiend01's Avatar
Member
 

Last journal entry: No More :(
Last photo:
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Tyler, Tx
Age: 31
Posts: 30
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
this is interesting.....hope I don't get banned
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #158 (permalink)  
Old 11-19-2003, 07:21 AM
malc's Avatar
Living At The Speed Of Life
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Espaņa Right Coast
Age: 63
Posts: 3,241
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 86
Thanked 69 Times in 66 Posts
Weīve had the twenty questions and IQ test,but I defy anyone to get this,even hardcore carguys will be baffled.
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	hidden_car_puzzle.jpg
Views:	316
Size:	62.5 KB
ID:	595  
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #159 (permalink)  
Old 11-19-2003, 10:33 PM
Malibucdl's Avatar
Laissez les bons temps rouler
 

Last journal entry: Frame Removal
Last photo:
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: New Orleans, La.
Age: 33
Posts: 167
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
^^^ I saw a nice tight black something, but i still don't see a car.

Chris
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #160 (permalink)  
Old 11-20-2003, 08:46 AM
dinger's Avatar
Hotrodders.com Moderator
 
Last wiki edit: Health and safety in the shop or garage
Last journal entry: 36 Ford painting
Last photo:
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Visalia, Ca.
Age: 61
Posts: 2,707
Wiki Edits: 1

Thanks: 102
Thanked 108 Times in 74 Posts
I don’t know who wrote this, but it’s funny.

Nick the Dragon Slayer had a long-standing obsession to
nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts, but he knew
the penalty for this would be death. One day he revealed his
secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who
was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed
that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy
his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange
it. Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to
the scheme.

The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching
powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere
while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching
commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal
Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician
informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if
applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and
that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon
Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch. The King
quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the
Physician then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote
for the itching powder, which he quickly put it into his
mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately
on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts. The
Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon
Slayer left satisfied and touted as a hero.

Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found
Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold
coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick the Dragon
Slayer couldn't have cared less, and knowing that Horatio the
Physician could never report this matter to the King shooed
him away with no payment made.

The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of
the same itching powder into the King's loincloth. The King
immediately summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer...

The Moral of the Story: Pay your bills.
__________________
"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not." - Mark Twain
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #161 (permalink)  
Old 11-20-2003, 08:59 AM
k2mooch's Avatar
Member
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Fort Mill, SC
Age: 34
Posts: 174
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Angry

NNNoooooooooooooooo BAAADDDDDDDDDD


MoocH (Nick)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #162 (permalink)  
Old 11-20-2003, 09:09 AM
malc's Avatar
Living At The Speed Of Life
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Espaņa Right Coast
Age: 63
Posts: 3,241
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 86
Thanked 69 Times in 66 Posts

nice one Dinger.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #163 (permalink)  
Old 11-20-2003, 09:13 AM
STUPID is as STUPID does...
 
Last wiki edit: Crankshaft Coalition Wiki Last photo:
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Stupidville, USA
Posts: 1,690
Wiki Edits: 1

Thanks: 11
Thanked 80 Times in 74 Posts
Did everybody hear about Ellen Degeneris?



They found her face down in Ricky Lake....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #164 (permalink)  
Old 11-21-2003, 06:31 AM
malc's Avatar
Living At The Speed Of Life
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Espaņa Right Coast
Age: 63
Posts: 3,241
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 86
Thanked 69 Times in 66 Posts
M.Jackson

Michael Jackson flees.
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	michael_jackson_on_the_run[1].jpg
Views:	107
Size:	22.0 KB
ID:	614  
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #165 (permalink)  
Old 12-05-2003, 04:13 PM
malc's Avatar
Living At The Speed Of Life
 
Last photo:
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Espaņa Right Coast
Age: 63
Posts: 3,241
Wiki Edits: 0

Thanks: 86
Thanked 69 Times in 66 Posts
Where is Mad Syntst has he left the board?
He posts nomore, replies nomore..........gone?


This is not a joke.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Hot Rod Forum : Hotrodders Bulletin Board forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name (usually not your first and last name), your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:17 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
Copyright Hotrodders.com 1999 - 2012. All Rights Reserved.