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  #91 (permalink)  
Old 01-25-2003, 07:24 PM
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Yeah, I hate those drive bys...they happen here all the time. I actually live in Guelph, I listed as being from Toronto. Besides nobody knows where the hell Guelph is or even how to say it. Sounds like a sound you make after too many Friday bevies.

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  #92 (permalink)  
Old 01-27-2003, 12:14 PM
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3 guys had been friend forever. To stay in touch, they went to Fenway Pahk (no typo) each yeah to see the Yankees and the Red Sox. Two were Bosox fans and the other was well....Anyhow....after the game this year, they were cutting through the bushes when they saw a womans leg. they checked it out and she was nekkid. They called the cops, but in the meantime, they tried to do the right thing and cover her up with thier hats.Red Sox over her breasts and Yankee over her crotch.
Officer O'mally shows up, takes the report, looks under the Redsox Hats, and looks under the Yankee hat. He talks with the guys and looks under the Yankee hat. Talks on the radio and looks under the Yankee hat. talks to ythe guys and looks under the Yankee hat. One guy can't stand it, so he askes the cop if he is a freak or something.
Nope,says the cop,"It's just the first time since I've lived in the BayState that I saw a Yankee hat that didn't have an arshole under it!
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  #93 (permalink)  
Old 01-27-2003, 12:16 PM
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Two lawyers walking down the beach. The come across a naked babe in the surf. They pull her up on the dry burm.
First lawyer looks around and says, "Lets screw her"
Second lawyer shakes his head and says, "Out of what?"
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  #94 (permalink)  
Old 01-27-2003, 02:40 PM
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Gearhead;

A lot of my family live around New Lowell, Brentwood, and Holly. We have our family reunions in Guelph, @ Riverside Park, every summer.

You think Guelph is unheard of, what about Port Rowan?
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  #95 (permalink)  
Old 01-27-2003, 03:52 PM
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Whats clear & lie's in the gutter?

an Afgan with the s**t kicked out of him!

Why do Afgans keep s**t in their wallets?

identification!

[ January 27, 2003: Message edited by: hotrodit ]</p>
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  #96 (permalink)  
Old 01-27-2003, 03:54 PM
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Hey Kitkar...I've heard of Port Rowan before, but you maybe right....where the hell is that anyway?
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  #97 (permalink)  
Old 01-27-2003, 06:45 PM
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Gearhead;

It's right on the north shore of Lake Erie. Take #59 hwy south, from Woodstock, to Long Point. Pt. Rowan is right there. Population of 537. I live on a tobacco farm about 10 km from the
metropolis(joke). I'm 30 miles west of Port Dover. If you're a Harley fan you'll know were that is.
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  #98 (permalink)  
Old 01-28-2003, 03:04 PM
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Near Port Dover eh? I was close. I thought it was on lake erie. Good fishing down that way?
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  #99 (permalink)  
Old 01-28-2003, 03:38 PM
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Gearhead;

Best perch fishing in the country, maybe the world. My best record was 3 yrs ago @ Pt. Burwell. 2 buddies and I got 157 in 2 hrs. There are about 200 ice huts on Long Point Bay now. There are up to 1000 in a good season. Excellent largemouth, smallmouth, & pike in the summer.. Salmon, trout, & walleye further out.

Better yet, Min. Natural Resourses released turkeys a few years back. They're everywhere.
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  #100 (permalink)  
Old 06-19-2003, 12:42 PM
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BTTT
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  #101 (permalink)  
Old 06-19-2003, 03:41 PM
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Indiana grad and purdue grad are walking down the road when they see a sheep with it's head caught in the fence. The IU grad says "Boy I wish that was a woman." the purdue grad says "Boy I wish it was dark." Why don't they circumcise Iraqi boys? So they have a place to store their gum in a sand storm.
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  #102 (permalink)  
Old 06-19-2003, 04:09 PM
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Gay Bob goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.
The doctor comes back and says,

"Bob, I'm not going to beat around the bush; I'm going to give
it to you straight: You have AIDS."

Bob is devastated. "Oh, Doctor, what can I do?"

"Eat 1 sausage,1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots
drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers mixed with
40 walnuts, 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of Grape Nuts cereal, and
top it off with a gallon of pure prune juice."

Bob asks, "Will that cure me, Doctor?.."

"No, but it should leave you with a far better understanding
of what your ***** is for."
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  #103 (permalink)  
Old 06-19-2003, 04:23 PM
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A farmer got pulled over by an Alabama state trooper for speeding, and
the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in
general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer
uncomfortable.
Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was
doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his
head.
The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle-flies there, are ya?"
The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said, "Well, yeah, if that's
what they are -- I never heard of circle- flies."
So the farmer says, "Well, circle-flies are common on farms. See,
they're called circle-flies because they're almost always found circling
around the back end of a horse."
The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket.
Then, after a minute, the Trooper stops and says,
"Hey...wait a second, are you trying to call me a horse's ***?"
The farmer says, "Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law
enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a
horse's ***."
The trooper says, "Well, that's a good thing," and goes back to writing
the ticket.
After a long pause, the farmer says:

"Hard to fool them flies, though."
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  #104 (permalink)  
Old 06-19-2003, 04:47 PM
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Saddam sends one of his sons out to get some groceries, his son returns with the shopping in a box.
Saddam ask's "why do you have the shopping in a box son" & his son relpies " cos there's no F*$%* bag-dad"
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  #105 (permalink)  
Old 06-21-2003, 06:41 AM
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A man goes to a brothel......

and tells the madam, "I want the most unusual woman you have". The madam tells him to go to this room upstairs. So he goes up gets undressed and jumps in bed. He's laying there awhile, all of a sudden this BIG woman comes crashing through the door and starts running around the room blowing like cazy. The guy looks at her and says,"woman,what are you doing".She says "my names hurricane Gusie and thems the warm tropical breezes that comes with every hurricane". He says o.k. Then she jumps up on the bed stradles him and starts beating in the head with her huge boobs. He kinda pushes her back and says "woman, what the HELL are you doing now". She says "my names hurricane Gusie and thems the coconuts afallen out the trees that comes with every hurricane". He says oo.kk.Then she stands up and commences ta pissin all over this guy. He crawls out from under and pushes up to the wall and says WOMAN, WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING NOW". She says "my names hurricane Gusie and thems the warm tropical rains that comes with every hurricane".So he jumps up,grabs his clothes,runs downstairs and straight out the door.The madam runs right out behind him and yells to him,"hey sweety where ya going,I thought ya wanted ta get laid".He yells back over his shoulder without ever brakeing stride ,"Lady who can f#$% in this kind of weather". Tom more to come
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