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Old 07-06-2005, 11:45 PM
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My life is in for a HUGE change!!!!

Well, I have finally decided to post this news. I don't know if anyone has noticed in the past few weeks that my posting has been scarce, probablly not. Anyhow, this is why.

In January of '06 I will become a father!!!

Now for the story.

I have know this girl (Tiffany) for a little over a year and a half now. We never did become more than friends mainly because we both have been so busy, but we have been really close friends since we met. Well, lately we have become so close of friends that we wound up sleeping together a couple times. I know what most people would be thinking right now, "How can friends sleep together?" Well, we have become so comfortable around each other that it just happened. That is about the best explanation I can come up with. Anyway, I digress, one night we got together for coffee and afterwards decided to go back to her place. You all know what for, so I won't bore you with the details :wink: . That night, the condom broke!!! For the next month we were both sweating it pretty bad. One day at work I get a call from her, telling me the news. I hit the floor, literally. I was so shocked that I literally had to go sit down outside, I think I chain smoked about 4 or 5 cigs while my brain deep fried itself. The next two weeks had to be the hardest 2 weeks of my life. My emotions and thoughts were going in every direction, and for the most part in places I never thought they could go. The things that were running through my brain could have easily gotten me commited to the crazy house. I honestly didn't think I was cappable of those thoughts.

Being raised the way I was, and having the character instilled in me through the Boy Scouts, I knew that I now have a major responsibility to uphold. I have been doing a lot of thinking (to say the least) about the whole situation, and I will be doing what is necessary to give this child the best life that I can give it, no matter what. I will not be known as a "dead beat dad" that is a promise!!! I will do every thing in my power to give him/her what he/she deserves.

As for Tiffany and I, we have decided not to jump into a relationship because of the baby. We decided it was best to remain friends as opposed to making wedding plans. As friends, there are no hard feeling between us, and that can't change. If we were to begin a relationship based on haveing a baby, I can only see it not being pretty down the road (the relationship, not the baby LOL) But, we also said, that if we do become something, then so be it, but we will not rush it.

Sometimes life throws ya some crazy curve balls. I couldn't get out of the way of this one quick enough, and it hit me right between the eyes. Like I said earlier, I will not back down. They say that God has a plan for us, I just wish he would give us a clue as to what it was every now and again.

As of today, Tiffany is 12 weeks and 3 days along with a tenative due date of Jan. 16th 2006. The due date is probablly going to change a couple more times. The Doc said today that given the baby's heart rate (~130) that chances are it will be a boy. I like that.

I think one of the hardest parts of this is going to be picking a name. I was looking through a baby name book the other day and saw one that I like: Riker. Tiffany wants something that is not of the norm, I kinda do to. Of course I would love to name him Christopher :wink: .

Well, I did it. I finally broke the news. Whew. Maybe ya'll can help me cope with this, maybe not. Either which way, I know I will get some advice from the great minds here.

Ok, this is the end of my longest post ever.

Chris

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  #2 (permalink)  
Old 07-07-2005, 12:19 AM
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Wait, so you two rulled out an abortion already? just kidding (sort of.)


Damn, I need a cigarette after reading that. I can't tell if your excited or still in shock, so congraduations and good luck with that deal. Life sure is going to change for you.
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Old 07-07-2005, 12:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ghetto Jet
Wait, so you two rulled out an abortion already? just kidding (sort of.)
Congrats man. ( I guess?,If you're happy about this.)
You forgot adoption ghetto.
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Old 07-07-2005, 01:08 AM
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Chris, First of all I want to congratulate you for the sincerity of the feelings that you have for Tiffany and the baby hotrodder. You said that you do not want a relationship based on the baby. I must tell you that is exactly what you have, that said, let me explain what I mean. You and Tiffany will have many decisions to make regarding your child's life, health, welfare, education and a host of other things until he/she is in the position in life to make decisions on his/her own behalf. You sound like the type of man who is willing to face such challenges and what little you said of Tiffany, sounds like the two of you are well suited for each other but I also think you are doing the right thing by waiting until you are certain that you love each other and want to spend the rest of your lives together before jumping into marriage. It is so easy to get married, a few bucks and a license is all you need. Getting unmarried is a whole new story.

Yo Coonass friend, oop's I forgot when I was transplanted to Texas I had an operation and had all the coon removed.

Good luck to the three of you. Al
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Old 07-07-2005, 01:28 AM
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So much for that no strings attached sex you were getting.






(that one just came to me)
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Old 07-07-2005, 07:36 AM
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I can definitely relate to some of the things you said in your post Chris. I don't have any kids of my own, but when you start getting into your mid 20's you really start thinking about those kinds of things.

Anyway, best of luck whatever you decide. I know things didn't go exactly as you planned after college, but the fact that you're maintaining a positive attitude through all of your recent trials is really commendable. Seems like you'll make an excellent father.

Congratulations, Chris-

K
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Old 07-07-2005, 07:54 AM
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or Jeff, or Doc, or...
 

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Wow !!! I know a guy that EXACT same thing happend to!! Almost word for word. Next Wednesday, we'll be married for 20 years !! Seriously !! I married "my best friend". We went through the same dilema. We are still best friends, and even work together. We raised 2 beautiful daughters (BACK, You dogs! LOL). If you guys were close for the last 2 years, there isn't any reason you can't be best friendsfor the next 50 years. Your child will change your life, regardless of whether your married or not. The important thing here is that you two respect each other, and try to work this out together. A child needs 2 parents, IMO. This screwed up world is tough enough without throwing other crap at them. The separate parents issues is just more baggage that a kid doesn't need. Again, its only my opinion, and thats not worth very much. Can't even buy a stick of gum with it.

I think ULTIMATELY, it will be easier on the three of you if you were married. She will need you during those late nights feedings,or when the baby won't stop crying. You might not be there for his first steps, or first words. You may miss all of his triumphs, and not be there to help him through his defeats.
And if she were to marry another guy, would you be happy with his decisions in regards to your child? It gets sticky. My poor brother went though this. It may seem selfish, but it is your baby too. A little person that is shared between parents.

Last little bit of overstepping advise...
Try to find out her way of thinking when raising the baby. If you two are in agreement, your all set. If its a different thought process, you two have lots of negotiating to do. Try not to get upset with each other. Be patient. There are few occasions when your stress will be higher. So you will both need to be more tolerant.

Anyways, congrats on the new arrival. May he or she (and the two of you) be healthy and happy for life!

(sorry to overstep, but I went though the exact same deal. Just trying to help!)

Jeff
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Old 07-07-2005, 08:33 AM
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Read Beenaway2 long's reply over and over

Chris,

I am 47 years old and a father of a son who is about to turn 4 in September. What you are going through right now is traumatic, exciting and legitimate. Even when you are married, you go through similar emotions with less complications as far a decision making goes.

I am an Eagle Scout, so trust your training there. It will help in guiding you to making the right decisions.

As a suggestion, read Beenaway2 long's reply several times. He thinks he overstepped himself with advice, but I can tell you he is absolutely right on.

It is worth while to see if Tiffany is at least interested in marriage. She has a ton of emotions going on right now too and might be trying to feel you out in terms of your level of committment.

If all works out, Tiff will be bringing out some hotdogs and Koolaid to the shop while you and Junior a knee-high in a wrench turning, grease laden project. (She won't want you guys in the kitchen for lunch.)

Hang tough. Everything will work out and for my input, make sure Tiffany knows your level of committment to this child and she will likely translate that to mean "toward her too" and things will move forward.

Sincerely,

Wes
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Old 07-07-2005, 09:20 AM
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congrats. now your done. so sell your dreams and by a future!

see you two were so good together, but werent smart enough to get married. so the powers that be interviened.

after jan. all you will hear is: whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaa, wwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaa, whhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last edited by spinn; 07-07-2005 at 10:25 AM. Reason: its all part of her master plan...
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Old 07-07-2005, 09:32 AM
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life

Chris, you moved to the top of my respect scale...... It sounds like you are a true man in the pure meaning of being one.....

I think that in todays throw away world the fact that the 2 of you are willing to grant life to the un-born baby is enough to bring tears to my eyes..... Me and my wife cannot have children and even though it seams tough at this time you have been granted a gift that is greater then anything the world has to offer you.......

It is never an easy choice to do the right thing, but it sounds like you are equipped for the battle. It takes a true man to stand up and do the right thing!!!!!!! Running is the easy way out ( bunch of sissys) IMO.... You have restored my faith in the younger generation........

Take it easy and work through it i am sure it will all work out for the 2 of you...

If you ever want to talk PM me, or call or e-mail.... I would be happy to be a shoulder if you need one.....

Keith
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Old 07-07-2005, 10:38 AM
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yeah married or not a kid needs two parents. dont let possible relationship drama prevent you from being their for your kid. My dad did, and everyone here knows how screwed up I am!! I married my best friend too..
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Old 07-07-2005, 11:00 AM
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Congratulations poppa, I think. Sounds like ya couldn't have picked a better one to end up chained to.

Larry

PS,
My little brother's first was born this morning. Josie Adora, 8lbs12oz.
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Old 07-07-2005, 11:06 AM
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hey chris congrats. good luck to you and your girl
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Old 07-07-2005, 12:57 PM
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Congratulations, Chris

Yes your life is about to change, For the better!!! Until you have kids you wont understand. I have 2 kids, 1 girl 1 boy (cant ask for anything more) both are healthy and loved.

You sound like you have your head screwed on right, you guys will get through this together.

Nothing better than after a long day of work,you walk in the door and your kid(s) come running yelling DADDY DADDY!! No tire smoke or thumping cam can compare.

You are on a great journey, look at parenting like building a hot rod, the more you put in the more you get in return. Also think about this when your kid(s) are 18 years old, you will only be 42 Thats plenty of time left to enjoy yourself, and them as an adult and also GRAND KIDS.

As every one has said both Mom and Dad is the best, but if after time the only thing the 2 of you do is fight, well how good is that for the kid(s)? Hope you 2 have a long happy life together raising a loving family. You will see that after kid(s) nothing else will matter. You will be broke but at least you will have a smile on your face .

Have you guys sprung this on you families? Hope that went well. Take all the help that family and friends are willing to give.

My best advice is this. The 2 of you need to enjoy each other, love each other, and respect each other and the rest will come naturally.

Good luck to you and Tiffany and the soon to be very loved new baby.

Life is short, have many kids.

Steve
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Old 07-07-2005, 01:27 PM
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Not as bad as it sounds...

having a child with friend....might just be the best for all three of you. Could be worse...could have been a one night stand!! You might just have as friend and possible mate for life here!!


Tazz


Rat Rods Rule!
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