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Old 08-20-2003, 01:22 PM
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MY son was picked up by the police!

As you all know i have an 11 year old son with Dyslexia. Last night my hubby was taking him to his class when out of the blue i became a Biotch (this is out of his mouth ) and his father became an A-----hole .. for making him go ! As they were driving to the tutor he decides to make the statement .. Well you can take me there but im not going in !

So Hubby stopped the car.... and said .. then get out and walk home cause im not wasting gas taking you there.............. He proceeded to pull over and my hard headed little man got out and started walking. My hubby then saw an O.P.P. pick him up ..and followed... we all went back to the house 2 hours of discussions about boot camps juvie hall and kids that are out of control took place. Now I ask .... if anyone could give me any advice .... Id appreciate it.... this is my one and only son .. Have I done something wrong as a parent?


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Old 08-20-2003, 01:43 PM
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no i think ur probubly doing just fine. i used to do terrible things like that when i was younger and greatly regret it. it kinda comes along when u got a kid
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Old 08-20-2003, 02:25 PM
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I don't know your son or you so it's hard to say.Maybe he hates going to the tutor and he is taking it out on ya'll.I hated going to school and i would do the same thing.I wouldn't get out the car if i did i would walk home.My mom would be pissed she would say if i go to jail for you not going to school i'm going to beat your *** when i get out lol.I would never call my mom a biotch though.Well i don't think its anyones fault.It sounds like he just don't want to go.Good luck with your son...
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Old 08-20-2003, 02:58 PM
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Quote:
Have I done something wrong as a parent?
Sounds to me like your one of the finest Mom's out there, don't sweat it Kim. It's comes as part of the territory. One thing I have learned having three little ones is that they are born with their personality, it gets modified as life moves on, but I can certainly tell you...they are born with it. My youngest boy (3 years old) was a difficult one right from the beginning, he's much better now that he can hold conversations with us but when he couldn't talk...man o man was he a little bugger.

Now he helps Daddy in the garage. Giving him little jobs is the only way I can keep his hands out of my stuff. Heaven help me when he figures out how to start the chainsaw. I'm going to buy him his own toolbox this weekend since the oldest boy already has one (stocked with better tools than I have!). I will probably have to buy one for my little girl also, can't buy one without the other ya know!

Keep up the good work Mom!
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Old 08-20-2003, 03:02 PM
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If I'd have called my parents that,

I'd still be in the coma, and I'm 41.
If my kids talked to me, my wife or any adult like that , they'd be in a coma! I am so glad I have the parents I do, and that they refused to put up with my crap.
Kids are allowed too much leeway anymore. Disrespect of adults is rampant. It's a shame. Imagine what their kids will be like. Good luck.
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Old 08-20-2003, 03:30 PM
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Rich i know exactly what u mean.i had friends a few years ago, i lost touch of. i run into them now, they're doing pot, having sex, and some getting back from juvenile. i totally resent them now, and i only have about 15 friends that are decent now. some actually ask me to drive them to their girlfriends house to have sex. i never talk to these people anymore. im usually talking and hanging out with older guys, probubly like most of ur age. im working at my dads shop, and his friends will come up to me and talk while im working and help me out. now, i can call them up asking if they got anything i need or just to help them out. i like it much better to hang out with older guys, because u can hold a good conversation not involving "oh i got high this one time..." kinda talk. i have had girfriends that want to have sex, and i turn them down because it is not right. its really tough to find people who are right for u. i spend most my net surfing on this site because i like u guys and theres rarely conflict, and i am not insulted or cut down in any way. thanks guys for being so cool
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Old 08-20-2003, 03:44 PM
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I wouldn't sweat it to much. I have a 10 year old boy and sometimes he likes to show his *ss to. He has adhd and this just makes things worse. I know exactly how you feel, but all you can do is all you can do. His most recent act of defiance bought him a month of restriction. No TV- No video games- No contact with his friends for a solid month. What got him the worse was the fact that it was summer and he had no school. He has been toting the line since then. My Dad lives with me now and he just grins with satisfaction when my son puts me through most of the same things that I put my Dad through. Payback Time.

Hang- In -There!
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Old 08-20-2003, 03:45 PM
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I was taught that its really disrespectful to speak that way to elders. None of us got away with it...we found out that a broom handle had another purpose...making painful contact with your shins!

I grew up with brothers, and if you don't exert your control over boys at an early age, they'll eat you alive when they grow over your head. If you'd have let him have his way, he might begin thinking that he is the one in control, and kids are not supposed to be in "total" control until they are young adults. Its not good for them or you.

I think you did the right thing.
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Old 08-20-2003, 04:38 PM
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Be firm. Be the Mom not the best friend. Your in control and let them know it. Don't over react, be fair. Then pray you've done the right thing. Oh the joys of being a parent!
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Old 08-20-2003, 04:53 PM
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Maybe he's right ... maybe he doesn't need the dyslexia classes???

But no matter -- he's terribly wrong for cursing at his mom and dad ... there's NO excuse for that.

I don't think you're a "bad mom" by ANY means, girl! If you were, you wouldn't be here asking about it, eh?

Pray on it -- never underestimate the power of prayer!! And talk it over ... it'll work out.

Alan
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Old 08-20-2003, 05:17 PM
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Sounds to me like a very 'normal' eleven year old. He's growing up and testing the waters to see how far he can go with Mom and Dad.

The only thing that bothers me is why the O.P.P. picked him up for walking down the street? Seems a bit extreme on their part to me.

It doesn't sound like he is in need of 'Boot Camp' or a Juvenile facility based on what you have said.

Just wait until you hear him say "I hate you" because he didn't like something you or his Dad wanted him to do. That always hurts Mom and Dad but is also part of growing up. Not all youngsters act out verbally; but most think it.
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Old 08-20-2003, 05:31 PM
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Pup, I don't know you so please don't take this as any type of put down, but what happened to "Spare the rod Spoil the child"? Never knew a kid that didn't need his rear smacked at times. And there IS a difference between a spanking and a beating.
Jack
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Old 08-20-2003, 06:01 PM
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Ahhh, I couldn't agree with woodz any more, a spanking is not a beating, respectful attention has to start somewhere. If I would have used any of those words with my folks I would have dentures at a young age. I had a great deal of respect for my folks and authority, I still do. Now he's just testing you to see who has the hardest head (stubborn), don't give in. My stepdaughter had to do 3 days in in juvie hall to bring her around, what a difference that made! Maybe go to one of his classes, dyslexia can be a frustrating problem for a youngster, maybe pick up a few tips from a specialist to help out at home to help him through this. Godd luck, be tough, it's all about love and doing the right thing for his future. Dan
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Old 08-20-2003, 07:03 PM
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I have a son with A.D.D. and I have dyslexia, so I will put my 2 cents in. I am a single parent and have the some of same feelings, They are normal, panic if you don't have them. He is probably frustrated, that does not excuse the disrespect, and is acting out on the easiest targets. I know I hid my dyslexia until I was in my late twenty's shame makes you do stupid things. Get him to understand that he is different but not alone, and that it is not a bad thing. And be strict about the disrespect, my son went through something like that, at times I was sure he wouldn't live through it . Patience, discipline and understanding. oh, and a lot of stubborn on your part and he will be fine. The fact that you concerned shows you a good parent.

Good luck.
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Old 08-20-2003, 07:32 PM
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kids. cant live with em, can't kill em....

i am all for a good butt busting. it builds character, look at me!!!!
Pup, your not alone. my oldest stepchild at home, decided she was an adult one night, i caught her sneaking out of the house.......
i asked her wtf? that was all i said. she made the remark to her mom, that she was gonna call her dad tomorrow to go live with him. my Kim told her "oh no, you'll call him NOW." he said he'd be here the following saturday to get her...... the ashole showed up 5 hours late, and didn't have anything but excuses as to why he couldn't take her home with him. talk about an attitude adjuster. she's been a different kid........
but don't be afraid to bust that butt. after all, YOU ARE THE PARENTS.

but i figure he lashed out cos he's already frustrated by the dyslexia, and he's taking it out on the nearest targets....
why do we always hurt the ones we love?
or maybe he's pissed cos you burnt all his girlie mags?
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