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View Poll Results: Do you think my storie is good?
Very good, best I have read in months 2 5.71%
Good, could use some work 16 45.71%
Average, nice try for a beginer 5 14.29%
Bad, keep writing and get better 1 2.86%
Horrible, never write again 11 31.43%
Voters: 35. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 10-06-2003, 02:05 PM
hot_rod_kid's Avatar
axes wayy too many questions
 

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Arrow My storie: Please vote

I like writing about hotrods beating ricers. I have been writing this in my Civics notebook when the teacher is blabbing away as usual.


“She’s pushing 540 HP and 7,000 lbs of torque. I say we install those new headers and try again.” Says Pete, a mechanic at Pete’s Race Shop.
“Sure, whatever you think is good for this engine.” Says Billy, a 16 year old building his first car. “I just want it to go fast and look good doing it.”
“Trust me it wont just look fast, it will be fast.” Snaps Pete the mechanic.
The two start wrenching the bolts off of the left header.
“Once we get these Jet Stream Headers installed she’ll be loud and have about 20 more HP than it does now.” Says Pete.
All Billy does is grin as he walks over to the package and picks up the left header. Pete begins wrenching on the four-barrel aluminum Header as Billy walks to the right header and begins wrenching that one off.
“I can’t wait to lower this baby in. Think we can do it tonight Pete?” asks Billy.
“Hopefully. You might even be able to bring her home.” Says Pete grinning at Billy.
The clicking of the wrench hurries and Billy hears the words spoken by Pete the Mechanic.
“There, all done. Lets not even worry about the dyno Pete.” Says Billy rolling the engine stand over to the front of the car.
The chopped 39 Ford 2 Door Sedan, Painted Blaze orange with red flames extending back to the rear fenders. The wheels are Street Smoothie made by American Racing. The interior is customs made beige seats on a beige floor with no rear seat and roll-cage.
Pete cranks the engine down between the radiator and firewall. It fits like a glove.
“Get under their Billy and bolt the engine block on.” Orders Pete.
“Done, what now?”
“Now connect the transmission to the block and blot the down.”
“O.K. Done. Lets get going.
After the ignition, exhaust, radiator and other electrical system were connected. Billy gets in the drivers side and Pete gets in the Passenger side Billy turns the key and the huge blown engine fires up.
“Lets find us some rice-burners and teach em’ a lesson, eh?” Says Billy with a grin.
“Sounds good.” Says Pete smiling back.

Please vote above on what you think of chapter 1.

HRK(Alex)
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old 10-06-2003, 05:03 PM
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not bad but it could use some corrections for being mechanically accurate, ie: what is a 4-barrel header?

JB
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Old 10-06-2003, 05:06 PM
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No street racing, never ever!

Walk the walk and talk the talk HRKid. Keep the racing at the track. A 300hp street car is awesome to cruise in. This Rice Rod crap needs to stop anyway. Two different animals. Why bother , your talking about jap crap and a Rod going up against each other. Who cares who would win? If you put enought money in it you can race a lawn mower or a go cart. You got the Rod to drive in the story.




Todd




Rat Rods Rule!
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Old 10-06-2003, 08:04 PM
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after all that work, (and having a mechanic put up with you for that long) wouldn't you want to break it in????
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Old 10-06-2003, 09:19 PM
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Nice work HRK, looks like you have a talent waiting to be explored. Leave out the ricer crap and write what you know. People who hotrod imports are just like you or me, they just never been for a ride in a big block muscle car before. J/K!

Technically it's a fantasy and thats OK, you could write this story in the future and call anything what you want, who says there won't be 4 bbl headers in the year 2100. Use your imagination, who knows you might be the first guy to invent a new fuel or induction system! Looks to me like you are going to be a lifetime rodder no matter what you drive, just remember that getting a good job that pays enough to own one is your main priority. Pay attention in class.

<ahhhh Dad...>

Thanks for sharing HRK, you brought back lots of memories, keep up the good work.

Now, did you bring enough gum for everyone in the class?
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Old 10-06-2003, 10:26 PM
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Thumbs up who'd a thunk it.....

HRK=FICTIONAL WRITER???

I think he's found his calling!
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Old 10-06-2003, 11:13 PM
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Too wordy. you need a few more grammer lessons if you plan to write stories that will keep ones attention.

So much for that. You really need to pay attention to your civics teacher and her lesson she is teaching. Civics is one of the most important classes to be in. Y ou learn how governments are organized and opperrated. You learn the IMPORTANCE OF VOTING.

You can always write when you are at home or in the library where you have access to reference books.

I was there when I was about your age. I too thought that my teachers were dumb and I really did not need to learn that stuff because after I get out of school, I'll never need it. After I got out of high school and made a career in the US Army, I decided to go to college and further my education. I wish I had paid attention to my teachers back in high school. Higher education is wonderful but it would have been much less difficult, had I just paid a little more attention when I had the chance. Don't screw it up for yourself. Do what you must do in school to get the best possible grades, It is not a lot of time to invest in something that will be useful and needed in later life.

Good luck Al
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Old 10-06-2003, 11:21 PM
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thats one good story hrk.. im sitting here for more.. waiting on whats happeneing next?...

the best thing i like is the nice detailing on the rod.. how u catch the color and the massiv engine.. keep up the good work.. and if u keep writing on the computer.. if u want... feel free to email me the story.. im very interested..

Nos

Mastadanny@yahoo.com

Last edited by Nos; 10-06-2003 at 11:32 PM.
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Old 10-07-2003, 06:17 AM
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If you really want to get into this, go out and buy a desk set of books. Its called the Essential Writer's Companion. Three books. Dictionary, A writer companion, and a Thesaurus. I wear mine out.

The story is sound, leave out the ricer crap. You set a stage, now add drama.
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Old 10-07-2003, 07:52 AM
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I Have A Dream. . .

I could hear the ratchet tempo pick up when Billy got excited. Good idea, now learn how to take it further. Even though a little practice with grammar usage can help, I gotta give you snaps for having the passion to write it and the balls to share it. Keep the dream alive man.



MoocH
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Old 10-07-2003, 09:19 AM
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You forgot the part about Pete smashing his thumb because of Billy and his hyperactivity.
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Old 10-08-2003, 02:56 PM
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axes wayy too many questions
 

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I guess i wont post the second chapter because Billy goes out and finds Pete and himself an Eclipse. You know what happens.

I will start on a new chapter 2 but I need ideas. This whole storie was based on ricers blowing up until Billy di.... Dont wanna give away the ending!


HRK(Alex)
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Old 10-08-2003, 03:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Gr8 '48 bow tie

You really need to pay attention to your civics teacher and her lesson she is teaching. Civics is one of the most important classes to be in.
Forget that. Who cares how a honda works

I like the story, you should try to go a little more into detail, not just "bolt the block in", "hook up the tranny". That would make it a little more gear head orentated.

Maybe drop the torque numbers a little


I agree drop the ricer stuff, talk about crusing and having some fun.

Over all Good Job
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Old 10-08-2003, 04:58 PM
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Later,
WEIMER
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Old 10-08-2003, 07:25 PM
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Alex, you have a flair for capturing the attention of your audience, evidenced by the fact everyone is responding! Great job, you have the gift. You do need to pay attention in class though, because getting your education now is the key toward building your future.
Think about this Alex: Billy and Pete only exist on paper but you are focusing a wealth of attention on THEIR lives and THEIR story...
What IF...
You focused that much attention on writing the story of YOUR life - What will Alex's life story be? You are that author, Kid. This story can begin with Alex being intelligent enough to see my point and start planning now just what his life story is going to include. I hope it includes many creative writing and journalism classes. The best story will not fly if it's not written correctly, both grammatically and punctuation-wise (giggle, that can't be right but I haven't taken enough grammar and punctuation classes to know).

Anyway I want to know what happens when Pete and Billy run into Bowtie Benny from across the river in his 69 SS 396 Camaro ... the heck with that eclipse. Ya don't earn bragging rights from whipping rice!
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