|Today 04:53 PM|
"What can a Lion do?"
"Pretty much any damned thing he wants to!"
|Today 03:51 PM|
|Today 02:52 PM|
|11-21-2014 05:32 PM|
|11-21-2014 05:14 PM|
My late mums fave American was dean martin, I grew up with him on the record player.
I found this hilarious clip, very very funny, ya eyes will water!
|11-20-2014 06:16 PM|
9 thoughts to ponder
Nine Thoughts to Ponder
Number 9. Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
Number 8. Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 7. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 6. Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
Number 5. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
Number 3. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 2. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Number 1. Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your *** tomorrow.
And as someone recently said to me: Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.
|11-20-2014 01:45 PM|
He is bloody funny though
|11-19-2014 03:34 PM|
|11-19-2014 03:17 PM|
|11-19-2014 02:48 PM|
|wretched ratchet||I never was in the Military but from what my Dad said, that must look like induction day at the Army Base.|
|11-19-2014 12:58 PM|
When you pull up the link, click on the clock:
|11-17-2014 08:24 AM|
how are a gynecologist and a pizza delivery man alike ?
they both get to smell it but cannot eat it......................
|11-17-2014 08:18 AM|
the female dentist
A man goes to a female dentist to have a tooth extracted.
She pulled out a large syringe to give an anesthetic shot.
"No way, no needles! I hate needles!" the man
So she started to hook up the nitrous oxide tank and the man
said, "I can't do the gas thing. Just the thought
of having a mask on my face suffocates me!
The dentist then asked the patient if he had any objections
to taking a pill.
"No," he says, "I'm fine with pills.
The dentist gave him two little blue pills and he swallowed
"What are those?" he asked.
"Viagra," she replied
"I'll be damned," said the patient, "I
didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer."
"It doesn't," said the dentist, "But it
will give you something to hold on to when I pull your
|11-16-2014 08:51 AM|
A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything is ready. A young man wearing a white coat approaches, lifts the sheet up and starts examining her naked body. He puts the sheet back and then walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man comes over, lifts the sheet and does the same examinations. When a third man does the same thing, but more closely, she grows impatient and says: "All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation?"
The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders.........."I have no idea. We're just painting the corridor."
|11-14-2014 02:28 PM|
A bystander called 911 when he saw a man on the sidewalk collapse.
The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital.
A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen.
She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment. "Do you have health insurance?" she asked.
He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"
He replied, "No money in the bank."
Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun.
He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters!
Nuns are married to God."
The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."
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