|06-30-2014 07:10 AM|
Let's just call this "a thousand words" !
|06-30-2014 02:29 AM|
Hitler finds out his Hemi 'Cuda is a fake...
|06-28-2014 06:24 PM|
Too funny not to share!!!
|06-22-2014 05:57 AM|
|06-20-2014 01:56 PM|
|06-11-2014 03:46 PM|
|wretched ratchet||A wife was curious when she found two old negatives in a drawer and had them made into prints. She was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of her at a much younger, slimmer time, taken many years ago on one of her first dates with her husband. When she showed him the photos, his face lit up. "Wow, look at that!", he said with appreciation, "That's my old Ford!".|
|06-10-2014 11:04 AM|
An old man sitting at the mall watched a teenager intently. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. The old man kept staring at him.
When the teenager was tired of being stared at, he sarcastically asked, “What’s the matter, old man? Never did anything wild in your life?”
The old man did not bat an eye when he responded, “Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.”
|06-10-2014 08:53 AM|
Bill at his best...hilarious.
|06-03-2014 11:38 AM|
|bentwings||Spoken like a retired engineer.|
|06-03-2014 10:28 AM|
a drink a day
A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed.
After years of this, the wife wants him to quit; she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey.
After getting him to the table that had the glasses, she brings his bait box.
She says "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water it, and it swims around.
She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately.
She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about that "
If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms?
|05-27-2014 01:09 PM|
All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.
Example, the trade name is Tylenol and it's generic name is Acetaminophen.. Aleve is also called Naproxen.
Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.
After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.
Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer..
It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.
Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.
Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day:
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.
This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
|05-26-2014 06:40 AM|
Daddy`s little girl
A little girl was given a tea set for her second birthday.
It became one of he favorite toys, and when her mother went away for a few weeks to care for her sick aunt, the toddler loved to take her father a little cup of tea, which was just water really, while he was engrossed watching the news on TV.
He sipped each "cup of tea" he was brought and lavished generous praise on the taste, leaving the little girl immensely proud.
Eventually the mother returned home and the father couldn't wait to show her how his little princess had been looking after him.
On cue, the girl took him his "cup of tea" and he sipped it before praising it to the heavens.
The mother watched him drink it and said: "Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?
|05-26-2014 06:36 AM|
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use about 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day.
She thought about this, then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.
Looking stunned, he said, “What?”
|05-23-2014 07:40 AM|
|05-23-2014 06:24 AM|
|deadbodyman||LOL,I had a friend we nick named "Tater" that stuck with him all his life when he grew up and his son was born we nick named him too..."Tater Tot"...|
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