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Topic Review (Newest First)
07-03-2015 03:08 PM
Irelands child
Quote:
Originally Posted by malc View Post
"Most weeks seem to go by so quickly.
I have come to the conclusion that life works like the fuel gauge in a car, you start with a full tank and it is ages before the needle even moves.
It steadily moves along to half way, then in the blink of an eye the warning light is on."

I couldn't resist stealing that, a good analogy.

...and in the same tone, this is for the oldies but good folks here. You youngun' can watch "In The Land That Made Me, Me" to and get an idea of where we came from as well.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/J55S38xwxnQ?rel=0

Dave W
07-03-2015 02:54 PM
malc "Most weeks seem to go by so quickly.
I have come to the conclusion that life works like the fuel gauge in a car, you start with a full tank and it is ages before the needle even moves.
It steadily moves along to half way, then in the blink of an eye the warning light is on."

I couldīnt resist stealing that, a good analogy.
07-03-2015 10:46 AM
malc
Quote:
Originally Posted by wretched ratchet View Post
Being chased by the Railroad Workers, a beautiful Lady headed for the Roundhouse thinking surely she couldn't be cornered there.
Blonde ?
07-03-2015 09:24 AM
evolvo Two meaningful oxymoron's:

Giant Shrimp

Scotch Bright (Brite)
07-03-2015 07:18 AM
boothboy The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Groucho Marx

BB
07-03-2015 06:37 AM
wretched ratchet Being chased by the Railroad Workers, a beautiful Lady headed for the Roundhouse thinking surely she couldn't be cornered there.
07-03-2015 01:44 AM
malc Sirloin itīs been good to gnaw you......
07-02-2015 09:41 PM
boothboy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave57210 View Post
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I have never met herbivore


BB
07-02-2015 09:33 AM
wretched ratchet
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave57210 View Post
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I have never met herbivore
07-02-2015 03:46 AM
malc Seems like Mr. Tour de France gets pissed off when overtaken
by a lesser machine.
In his bid to get in front he forgets traffic behind.
Instant Karma.

07-01-2015 10:53 PM
Dave57210 This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I have never met herbivore
06-30-2015 12:56 PM
malc Subj.: Marijuana and Marriage

For those who haven't heard, Washington State recently passed two laws.
They legalized gay marriage and legalized marijuana. The fact that gay marriage and marijuana
were legalized on the same day makes perfect Biblical sense.
Leviticus 20:13 says: "If a man lies with another man they should be stoned"
Apparently we just hadn't interpreted it correctly before!
06-28-2015 01:33 PM
wretched ratchet
Racial Profiling ?

I was standing at the bar of Terminal 3 International Airport when this small Chinese guy comes in, stands next to me and starts drinking a beer.

I asked him, "Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate or Ju-Jitsu ?"

He says "No, why the "bleep" you ask me that?
Is it because I am Chinese?"


"No", I said, "It's because you're drinking my beer, you little $@%#."
06-24-2015 03:33 PM
whinny I like it,lol
06-24-2015 03:23 PM
rossco Three bodies turn up at the mortuary all with very big smiles on their faces and the police call on the coroner to investigate further.

After the coroner had completed his examination of the three deceased he prepared his report for the police.

First body is that of Pierre Dubois, a Frenchman, 70, died of heart failure while making love to his 20 year old mistress, hence the smile.

The second body is that of Gregory Campbell, Scotsman, 25, won 50,000 pounds on the lottery. Spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.

The third body is that of Paddy Murphy, Irish, 30, died after being struck by lightning.
At the time of death, Paddy thought he was having his photo taken, hence the smile.
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