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Topic Review (Newest First)
07-28-2014 12:58 PM
Irelands child
Woman Stops Grizzly Attack With .25 Caliber Pistol

Woman Stops Grizzly Attack With .25 Caliber Pistol

This is a story of self control and marksmanship. A woman survived a grizzly bear attack with one well-placed shot from her itsy bitsy .25 caliber Beretta Jetfire.

Below is her description of how she survived this violent confrontation:

"While out hiking in Alberta Canada with my boyfriend, we were surprised when a massive female grizzly bear came charging at us out of nowhere. She must have been protecting her cubs because she was extremely aggressive.

If I had not had my little Beretta .25 caliber Jetfire I would not be here today! I yanked it out of my purse and fired one shot. It hit my boyfriend in his kneecap and the bear caught him easily. While the grizzly mauled the poor cripple, I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace".

Oh sure, I'll have to find another boyfriend…..But I love that pistol!!!
07-27-2014 06:29 PM
poncho62
07-26-2014 04:24 PM
wretched ratchet Another boat intercepted off the Texas coast.

The Navy intercepted a boatload of people off the Texas coast today.

This placed the Navy in an awkward position as the boat was not heading to the USA, but towards Mexico and Central America.

Another surprise finding was the people were white American retirement age seniors. Their claim was that they were trying to get to Central America or Southern Mexico as they wanted to return to the US as illegal immigrants. Then they would be entitled to far more benefits than they were receiving as legitimate American retirees.

It is believed the Navy gave them food, water and fuel and assisted them on their journey.

We are booking on the next boat out. Let me know if you want to join us.

07-19-2014 08:25 AM
wretched ratchet
Attn: Crash Farmer

FARMER OR RANCHER?
By Baxter Black

There is a distinction in the livestock business between ranchers and farmers. But how does a city slicker tell the difference? I have some guidelines that should be helpful.

1. Ranchers live in the west. Except beet growers in Idaho, cotton farmers in Arizona, prune pickers in California and wheat producers in Montana. Farmers live east of Burlington, Colorado. Except for cattle ranchers in the Sandhills of Nebraska, cracker cowboys in Florida, Flinthills cowmen in Kansas, and mink ranchers in Michigan.

2. Farmers wear seed company caps except when they're attending the PCA banquet, the annual cattlemen's meeting or going on a tour to a foreign country. Ranchers wear western hats except when they're roping, putting up hay or feeding cows at 30° below zero.

3. Ranchers wear western boots except when they're irrigating and sleeping. Farmers wear western boots except when they go to town.

4. Farmers work cows a foot, on a tractor, a three wheeler, a motorcycle, in the pickup, snowmobile, road grader, canoe or ultralight. Virtually any motorized contraption except a horse. Ranchers work cows horseback.

5. Farmers can identify grass. Ranchers have trouble distinguishing grass from weeds and indoor-outdoor carpet. Farmers think grass is green. Ranchers think it is yellow.

6. Ranchers haul their dogs around in the pickup and pretend they are stock dogs. Farmers usually leave their pets at home.

7. Farmers think a rope is good for towing farm equipment, tying down bales and staking the milk cow along the highway. A rancher's rope hangs on the saddle and is only used to throw at critters.

8. A rancher wouldn't be caught dead in overalls. A farmer never wears a scarf or spurs.

9. Farmers complain about the weather, the market, the government, the banker, taxes, county roads, the price of seed, equipment, veterinary work, pickups, tires and kids. So do ranchers.

Now that I've made it perfectly clear, let's assume you see a man on Main Street in Enid, Oklahoma. He's wearing western boots, a seed corn cap and has a pocket-ful of pencils. He's driving his pickup complete with a dog, a saddle and a three wheeler in the back. Which is he, a farmer or rancher?

He's either a rancher on his way to a roping or a farmer coming back from the flea market. The only way to be sure is to examine his rope. If it has more than two knots in it, he's a farmer
07-14-2014 09:20 PM
boothboy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave57210 View Post
Off the Southern tip of Florida, there is a chain of islands called the Keys. They are very popular for tourism and as a result, development has nearly reached maximum.

Consequently, there is a proposal to create some new artificial islands

Tentative names for the first few of the new Keys are as follows:
Key Pright
Key Pleft
Key Pout
Key Poff
Key Paway
It took a couple of minutes!

BB
07-14-2014 05:14 PM
Dave57210 Off the Southern tip of Florida, there is a chain of islands called the Keys. They are very popular for tourism and as a result, development has nearly reached maximum.

Consequently, there is a proposal to create some new artificial islands

Tentative names for the first few of the new Keys are as follows:
Key Pright
Key Pleft
Key Pout
Key Poff
Key Paway
06-30-2014 07:10 AM
wretched ratchet Let's just call this "a thousand words" !

06-30-2014 02:29 AM
staleg Hitler finds out his Hemi 'Cuda is a fake...

06-28-2014 06:24 PM
carsavvycook
punography

Too funny not to share!!!
06-22-2014 05:57 AM
deadbodyman
Quote:
Originally Posted by wretched ratchet View Post
A wife was curious when she found two old negatives in a drawer and had them made into prints. She was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of her at a much younger, slimmer time, taken many years ago on one of her first dates with her husband. When she showed him the photos, his face lit up. "Wow, look at that!", he said with appreciation, "That's my old Ford!".
even my wife thought that one was funny...
06-20-2014 01:56 PM
wretched ratchet
06-11-2014 03:46 PM
wretched ratchet A wife was curious when she found two old negatives in a drawer and had them made into prints. She was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of her at a much younger, slimmer time, taken many years ago on one of her first dates with her husband. When she showed him the photos, his face lit up. "Wow, look at that!", he said with appreciation, "That's my old Ford!".
06-10-2014 11:04 AM
OLNOLAN
Encore favorites

An old man sitting at the mall watched a teenager intently. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. The old man kept staring at him.
When the teenager was tired of being stared at, he sarcastically asked, “What’s the matter, old man? Never did anything wild in your life?”
The old man did not bat an eye when he responded, “Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.”
06-10-2014 08:53 AM
malc Bill at his best...hilarious.

06-03-2014 11:38 AM
bentwings Spoken like a retired engineer.
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