Hot Rod Forum : Hotrodders Bulletin Board - Reply to Topic -- Hot Rod Forum

Register FAQ Search Today's Posts Unanswered Posts Auto Escrow Insurance Auto Loans
Hot Rod Forum : Hotrodders Bulletin Board > General Discussion> Hotrodders' Lounge> Off-Topic> Daily funny--- Revisited
User Name
lost password?   |   register now

Thread: Daily funny--- Revisited Reply to Thread
Send Trackbacks to (Separate multiple URLs with spaces) :

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Hot Rod Forum : Hotrodders Bulletin Board forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name (usually not your first and last name), your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Additional Options
Miscellaneous Options

Topic Review (Newest First)
Today 11:13 AM
little David

Little David is in the 5th grade.
Yesterday morning when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living, all the typical answers came up: fireman, policeman, salesman, etc.

The teacher noticed that little David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so she asked him about his father.

My father's an exotic dancer in a gay bar and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and do it with him for money.

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took little David aside to ask him, Is that really true about your father?

No, said David, red faced. He plays for the DALLAS COWBOYS, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids.
Today 07:59 AM
wretched ratchet
HELLO, is anybody home in there ?

Dopey Old Couple Almost Dies After 13 Hours Trapped In Unlocked Mazda*
Today 12:19 AM
malc Woman gets a quote for mechanical work - prank call

Yesterday 04:21 PM
wretched ratchet Guilty on 3 counts - - - 'count I gotz kids and grandkids
Yesterday 04:05 PM

1) You Believe in Father Christmas
2) You Don't Believe in Father Christmas
3) You ARE Father Christmas
4) You look like Father Christmas
12-17-2014 03:02 PM
wretched ratchet A guy, who was not feeling well, went to the hospital to have tests run.

Two days later, he received a call to get to the hospital as fast as he could and NOT to have contact with anyone.

Upon arrival, he was ushered to a room where everyone was in HAZMAT suits......

The lead doctor said, "Sir.....I am sorry to inform you that your tests came back and you are positive for HEADS."

The guy says, "Huh? What the hell is HEADS?

The doc says, "Well, is a mutated virus that combines Herpes, Ebola, AIDS, Diphtheria and Syphilis..."

"Oh, Dear God!" the guy replies, "What can you do?"

The doctor says, "Just stay calm....the first thing we are going to do is get you a room all to yourself. Then, we are going to start you off with a diet of pancakes and pizza....."

The guy says, "Wait! What? Pancakes and pizza? Will that help cure me?"

"Well," says the doctor, "But, it's the only things we can slip under the damn door...."
12-17-2014 09:56 AM
wretched ratchet
12-17-2014 09:08 AM
more money..............

Sam walks into his boss’s office. “Sir, I’ll be straight with you, I know the economy isn’t great, but I have three different companies after me, and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.”

After a few minutes of haggling the boss finally agrees to a 5% raise, and Sam happily gets up to leave.

“By the way”, asks the boss as Sam is getting up, “which three companies are after you?”

“The electric company, water company, and phone company”, Sam replied
12-17-2014 08:55 AM
the screw.............

Once upon a time, a young lad was born without a belly button. In its place was a silver screw. All the doctors told his mother that there was nothing they could do.

Like it or not, he was stuck with it . . . He was screwed.

All the years of growing up were real tough on him, as all who saw the screw made fun of him. He avoided leaving his house . . . And thus, never made any friends.

One day, a mysterious stranger saw his belly and told him of a monk in Tibet who could get rid of the screw for him. He was thrilled. The next day, he took all of his life's savings and bought a ticket to Nepal

After several days of climbing up steep cliffs, he came upon a giant monastery. The monk knew exactly why he had come. The screwy guy was told to sleep in the highest tower of the monastery and the following day when he awoke, the screw would have been removed. The man immediately went to the room and fell asleep.

During the night while he slept, a purple fog floated in an open window. In the mist floated a solid silver screwdriver. In just moments, the screwdriver removed the screw and disappeared out the window.

The next morning when the man awoke, he saw the silver screw laying on the pillow next to him. Reaching down, he felt his navel, and there was no screw there! Jubilant, he leaped out of bed . . . . And his *** fell off.

The moral to this is:

'Don't screw around with things you don't understand -- You could lose your ***!'
12-16-2014 04:15 PM
12-15-2014 02:46 AM
12-12-2014 06:38 PM
wretched ratchet
should this have gone in the Music Thread?
12-12-2014 01:47 PM
12-12-2014 06:37 AM
malc A couple from a circus go to an adoption agency, but social workers are doubtful about their accommodation.
So they produce photos of their 15 metre long caravan, the back half of which is a beautifully equipped nursery.
The social workers then are doubtful about the education that would be provided.
"We've employed an Oxford don who'll teach the child all the subjects along with Mandarin and IT skills".
There are then doubts expressed about the child’s healthy upbringing.
"Our full time nanny is an expert in paediatric welfare and diet", they reply.
So the social workers are finally satisfied, and ask what age of child they were looking for.
"It doesn't really matter", they say, "So long as he fits in the cannon".
12-08-2014 05:22 PM
redhed >
> A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course.
> Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.
> She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole."
> He thanked her and went back to his golf.
> On the back nine the same thing happened; and he approached her again with the same request.
> She said, "I'm on the 14th hole, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th hole."
> Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.
> He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar.
> He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often.
> He approached her and! said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you are in the sales profession. I'm in sales, also. What do you sell?"
> She replied, "If I tell you, you'll laugh."
> "No, I won't."
> "Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax."
> With that, he laughed so hard he almost lost his breath.
> She said, "See I knew you would laugh."
> "That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied. “I’m a salesman for Preparation H, so I'm still a hole behind you!
This thread has more than 15 replies. Click here to review the whole thread.

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:27 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
Copyright 1999 - 2012. All Rights Reserved.