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Topic Review (Newest First)
Today 01:44 AM
malc Sirloin itīs been good to gnaw you......
Yesterday 09:41 PM
Originally Posted by Dave57210 View Post
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I have never met herbivore

Yesterday 09:33 AM
wretched ratchet
Originally Posted by Dave57210 View Post
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I have never met herbivore
Yesterday 03:46 AM
malc Seems like Mr. Tour de France gets pissed off when overtaken
by a lesser machine.
In his bid to get in front he forgets traffic behind.
Instant Karma.

07-01-2015 10:53 PM
Dave57210 This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I have never met herbivore
06-30-2015 12:56 PM
malc Subj.: Marijuana and Marriage

For those who haven't heard, Washington State recently passed two laws.
They legalized gay marriage and legalized marijuana. The fact that gay marriage and marijuana
were legalized on the same day makes perfect Biblical sense.
Leviticus 20:13 says: "If a man lies with another man they should be stoned"
Apparently we just hadn't interpreted it correctly before!
06-28-2015 01:33 PM
wretched ratchet
Racial Profiling ?

I was standing at the bar of Terminal 3 International Airport when this small Chinese guy comes in, stands next to me and starts drinking a beer.

I asked him, "Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate or Ju-Jitsu ?"

He says "No, why the "bleep" you ask me that?
Is it because I am Chinese?"

"No", I said, "It's because you're drinking my beer, you little $@%#."
06-24-2015 03:33 PM
whinny I like it,lol
06-24-2015 03:23 PM
rossco Three bodies turn up at the mortuary all with very big smiles on their faces and the police call on the coroner to investigate further.

After the coroner had completed his examination of the three deceased he prepared his report for the police.

First body is that of Pierre Dubois, a Frenchman, 70, died of heart failure while making love to his 20 year old mistress, hence the smile.

The second body is that of Gregory Campbell, Scotsman, 25, won 50,000 pounds on the lottery. Spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.

The third body is that of Paddy Murphy, Irish, 30, died after being struck by lightning.
At the time of death, Paddy thought he was having his photo taken, hence the smile.
06-16-2015 07:20 PM
rossco A man and woman were seated next to each other on a flight when the woman sneezed, then took out a tissue and gently wiped her nose. Immediately after she visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.
The man went back to reading his book.
A few minutes later the woman sneezed again, took out a tissue and gently wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said "I couldn't help but notice that you have sneezed twice now, wiped your nose with a tissue then shuddered violently. Are you ok?"

"I am sorry if I have disturbed you. I have a very rare medical condition. You see, every time I sneeze I have an orgasm"

The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I have never heard of that condition before. Are you taking something for it?"

"Yes...I take pepper"
06-15-2015 05:19 AM
Irelands child
Retired Person's Perspective

*Retired Person's Perspective*

1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying
let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.

2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much
faster now.

3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are
holding a gun, she's probably upset.

4. Gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers. Now they drink
like their fathers.

5. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone
you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body.

6. I don't like making plans for the day. Because then the word
"premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

7. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row.

8. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the
Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

9. Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers. If
you find one, what's your plan?

10. Everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege
06-15-2015 04:00 AM
malc Wooohooo!!!
Just found $12.86 and a hat outside the train station.
I thought some guy was going to pick them up but he seemed more interested in playing his guitar.
06-13-2015 08:56 AM
wretched ratchet
In reference to Northstar T's post !

"That's about what it a'MOUNDS to !"

(see there Russ ain't the only one that can lay a rotten egg )
06-12-2015 11:07 PM
whinny Ok you,a merry cans, malc will like this I think, but this is the original programme made which morfed into your all in the family Archie bunker and co.

I grew up with this English humour, it's some of the funniest episode there is, the other episode is the 3 day week.
It's very very funny, prolly not PC as we have today. Special appearance by spike Milligan as the Pakistani train traveller.

Later gator
06-12-2015 10:42 PM
Originally Posted by wretched ratchet View Post
It's the way ya tell it, lol

Later gator
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