|Today 08:48 AM|
She stopped by.
|Today 02:22 AM|
"Drive, George, drive this ones got a coat hanger!"... How funny!
|Today 02:05 AM|
This actually is happening in so many areas... crazy but true!
|Yesterday 11:01 PM|
Today I was offered sex by a beautiful 18 year-old girl
Now I'm not gonna lie - this chick was smoking hot!
In exchange for the sex I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner for her.
Of course I, being the great person that I am, declined because I have high moral standards and my willpower is very strong.....but not as nearly as strong as Ajax, the safe and affordable bathroom cleaner, now available in lemon and vanilla scents......
|Yesterday 11:43 AM|
this was the end.. he called animal control. told them the situation the operator said they would send somebody out with a pillow case to collect it..
pillow case... lady this is an angry 14 foot long python.. what are they going to do with a pillow case. put it over its head so it can't see them coming.
|Yesterday 11:22 AM|
|evolvo||Funny Or Die Presents Donald Trump's The Art Of The Deal: The Movie from Owen Burke, Fu...|
|02-01-2016 04:26 PM|
|02-01-2016 03:30 PM|
|02-01-2016 03:27 PM|
|ogre||you've never had teenagers, i know THAT look all to well|
|02-01-2016 03:07 PM|
President Barack Obama and his family seem to have $15 million post-vacation blues as they stop off of Marine One at the White House:
|01-24-2016 03:58 PM|
One of the city's top cardiac specialists died.
At his funeral, his coffin was placed in front of a huge replica or a heart, made of red roses.
When the pastor finished the sermon and everyone had said their good-byes, the large heart opened up, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed up again.
It was a majestic tribute to the much love cardiologist.
Suddenly one of the mourners burst into a fit of laughter.
Irritated by his insensitivity, the man sitting next to him asked, "why are you laughing?"
"I'm sorry....but I was just thinking about my own funeral.....I'm a gynecologist"
|01-22-2016 12:20 AM|
|evolvo||The Donald T Rump way!|
|01-14-2016 11:44 PM|
A man was sitting quietly reading his newspaper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.
‘What was that for?’ he asked.
‘That was for the piece of paper in your jeans pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it,’ she replied.
‘Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on, I bought you those flowers with the winnings, ‘ he explained.
‘Oh darling, I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I should have known there was a good explanation.’
Three days later he was watching TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with a frying pan, which knocked him out cold.
When he came to, he asked, ‘What was that for?’
‘Your horse just phoned’
|01-14-2016 11:40 PM|
A blonde was selling her pet python on E-Bay.
A guy calls up and asks "Is it big."
"It's massive " replies the blonde.
"How many feet?"
"None...Geeez...It's a f....en snake"
|01-12-2016 10:09 AM|
Irelands child's last post reminded me of the time my Buddy and I were just about ready to depart Sky Harbor Airport in AZ. A voice from a Southwest
aircraft contacted Ground and asked for a shove back from the terminal. The Ground Controller said "I've been waiting all night to say this, Shove it!" My buddy keyed his mike and asked " Did you just tell him to Stick it?" Ground responded, "No. I told him to Shove It!"
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