There is this old couple and they have been married for a long time. They hadn't had sex in a while, so the wife goes out and buys some crotch less underwear.
She goes home and puts them on and goes downstairs. Her husband is sitting in the living room watching sports on tv and she goes and sits in front of him, but he tries to look around her at the tv.
She opens her legs and says, "You want some of this?"
The husban replies, "Hell no, look what it did to your underwear.