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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 01-19-2005, 02:58 PM
RCastle's Avatar
Come Home Safe Soldier
 

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Once again.....JOKE TIME!!!!

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says,"About 2 Hours." The guy leaves.

A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around at the shop full of customers and says, "About 3 hours." The guy leaves.

A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About an hour and a half." The guy leaves.

The barber who is intrigued by this time, looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey, Bill. Follow that guy and see where he goes."

A little while later, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here? Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says "Your house."

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  #2 (permalink)  
Old 01-19-2005, 05:12 PM
Ghetto Jet's Avatar
current hot rod: CTS-V
 

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haha
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old 01-19-2005, 05:48 PM
Kevin45's Avatar
Just one of the guys
 

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Hahahaha
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  #4 (permalink)  
Old 01-19-2005, 06:19 PM
40fordtruck_son's Avatar
Let the wheels of life roll on
 

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lmao!!! thats great!!
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  #5 (permalink)  
Old 01-19-2005, 06:23 PM
strikingthematch's Avatar
Pure American Muscle
 

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lmao!
RC that is great. Now I can just think what happened after that.

Chris
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  #6 (permalink)  
Old 01-19-2005, 06:29 PM
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Hahahahaha thats great!!!


not to sound repetitive or anything but that brought a much needed smile to my face.
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  #7 (permalink)  
Old 01-19-2005, 06:34 PM
A32flathead's Avatar
H...E...M...I...
 

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Why does a chicken coupe have 2 doors??





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Give up??

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If it had 4.......it would be a SEDAN

dave...off to hide now
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  #8 (permalink)  
Old 01-19-2005, 06:37 PM
hotrodgrasshopper's Avatar
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!









what?
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  #9 (permalink)  
Old 01-19-2005, 07:21 PM
hunt101's Avatar
Learning something every day
 

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For Sale: one parachute, never opened, used once; call for details
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  #10 (permalink)  
Old 01-19-2005, 07:25 PM
johnsongrass1's Avatar
Race it, Don't rice it!
 
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A rapist, a pedifile and a catholic walked in to a bar.....and that's just the first guy!
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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 01-19-2005, 07:51 PM
hunt101's Avatar
Learning something every day
 

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News Flash - - -

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn't drive. No further testing is planned."
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 01-19-2005, 08:34 PM
akm akm is offline
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SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE - PART I

1. What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan-on-Juan.

2. What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

3. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.

4. Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

5. What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
One US leader.

6. What do you see when the Pillsbury-Dough-Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.

7. Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

8. Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely?
Because Janet Reno is her real father.

9. What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room
together?
100 people who don't do dick.

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE - PART II (JUST WARMING UP!)

1. What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

2. What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

3. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs.

4. What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

5. How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just sit there in the dark and ******.

6. What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

7. Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

8. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,
and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

9. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

10. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving.

11. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has
the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.

12. Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.

13. What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the ****** on the outside.

14. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

15. What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.

16. Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

17. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.

18. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

19. Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

20. Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE - PART III (Just Great Stuff)

1. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
"Row, Row, Row Your Boat"

2. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

3. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"

4. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
other?
A speech impediment.

5. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
half-mast?
They're hiring.

6. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

7. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the "F" word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell BINGO!

8. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this *****..."

9. My, my, how times have changed. Years ago when 100 white men chased
one black man, we called It the Ku Klux Klan; today they call it the PGA TOUR.

10. Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 01-19-2005, 08:50 PM
Ghetto Jet's Avatar
current hot rod: CTS-V
 

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AHAHAHA


akm I'm glad I got here in time to read that before it gets edited by a mod.
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 01-19-2005, 09:11 PM
hotrodgrasshopper's Avatar
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 01-19-2005, 09:18 PM
WakBordr7387's Avatar
Gone fishin'
 
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akm

Good god man! thats the funniest thing I've read in a long time! Man I'm gonna save those for myself sometime.
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