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  #46 (permalink)  
Old 12-30-2005, 12:45 PM
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In my Machine shop, I could push the E-stop (the ones you have to twist to release) and watch them pulling the lever to turn it on (Lathe; up is on). The "huh???" look is priceless. Then the look at the E-stop.

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  #47 (permalink)  
Old 12-30-2005, 08:30 PM
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When I worked at Discount Tire, we had this kid who was extremely green. On his first day, we gave him this nasty old Slip Tack bucket that we used to throw old wheel weights in. The floor manager told him to clean it real good because he had an important job to do. After scrubbing out this nasty pale for about 1/2 an hour, we had him fill it with clean water. He was then instructed to fill the shop drinking fountain... After the first 5 gallons, none of us could keep a straight face. He asked us what was so funny, we told him the drain valve was still open the basement... right next to the bead stretcher/shinker! He wandered around for a bit looking for the stairs to the basement when we filled him in. Poor kid, didn't last a month.
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  #48 (permalink)  
Old 12-30-2005, 10:31 PM
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Ya gotta make practical jokes last for weeks, then they're funny...

My Mother-in-Law wanted me to work on her car, I told her I couldn't with out a special tool. since I worked all day and the auto stores were closed by the time I got home, she would have to get the tool for me. She was out there for a week looking for a solar powered flashlight. When the wife found out about it she was pissed...they both decided to do a payback on me.

My wife was a paramedic. One night she woke me and told me her mom had a problem. She said that she could go to the hospital but it would cost $75 for the ambulance and $3000 for the procedure. Since it was not covered by insurance, I would have to pay the bill. She knew how to do the procedure but I would have to go to the all night Rexall drug store to get some tubing. She wrote down the name of the tubing and told me not to try and say it, just show the note to the pharmacist. All night long I ran from druggist to druggist. Finally I found a medical supply store open. I ran to the counter and showed the female pharmacist the note. She looked at me like I had two heads, so I explained what my wife was doing and my all night search. She reached for a book from a shelf and I thought to myself that this broad must be a dummy if she has to look it up. Finally she turned the book around saying, "Is this what you're looking for?" While pointing to the female reproductive organs...All night long I had been looking for a 20 foot fallopian tube. (Ask your wife what that is)

Not to be outdone...
When we were at Wal-Mart, she had me try on jeans. I sat in the little try-on room for about ten minutes. Finally I got up and yelled over the top of the door..."Hey honey, they ain't got no toilet paper in here...The whole place came to dead standstill. She had to apply 2" of make-up to hide her red face.

Yes, I still send them on errands for things like light bulb repair kits, blinker fluid, axle degreaser, cataphramic rheostats, phillip pliers. Or call a place and ask for Motimer Fartzard, or Hercimier Shidzalotte.

My wife asked me for $50 to go shopping. I told them I'd give them each $50 if they could recite one thing from memory without screwing it up. That was a year ago, and neither one has got the $50 yet.
Read this and try to recite it from memory and no, you ain't gettin $50...

One smart feller, he felt smart. Two smart fellers, they felt smart. Three smart fellers, they felt smart.
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  #49 (permalink)  
Old 12-30-2005, 10:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lakota
Ya gotta make practical jokes last for weeks, then they're funny...

My Mother-in-Law wanted me to work on her car, I told her I couldn't with out a special tool. since I worked all day and the auto stores were closed by the time I got home, she would have to get the tool for me. She was out there for a week looking for a solar powered flashlight. When the wife found out about it she was pissed...they both decided to do a payback on me.
She didn't go to wal-mart then.


I found one on sale,Lol.
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  #50 (permalink)  
Old 01-01-2006, 08:11 PM
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Cruise, I played that joke on her many years ago, when solar powered radios first came out. Solar rechargable flashlights were unheard of then. Now she drives an electric three wheeled "Old Fart Cart", and gripes cause they took her license away. But we still play pranks on each other. The other day she sent me to the store for sanitary napkins. I got half way there (12 miles) before I realized that I'd been had...What's a 79 year old woman want with sanitary napkins. Parents always play jokes on their kids, it's their way of payback. Try this one...

After dinner gather your teenage kids around the table for a family talk. Explain that money is tight, and some belt tightening is in order. In a sober voice and straight face tell them...

"Because of our present financial position, we're going to have to let one of you go."

Watch the expressions on their faces...it's priceless...
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  #51 (permalink)  
Old 03-10-2006, 04:38 PM
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Once I took the main jet out of my friends dirt bike. Would run perfectly fine till WOT then it would bog real bad. and then idle good once you let off real annoying for them. funny for you
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  #52 (permalink)  
Old 03-13-2006, 07:33 PM
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Gee, I thought everyone had done the old; fold the end of a ketchup or mustard packet and stick it under the edge of the toilet seat so that it pops on some ones leg…

When my son was in grade school, he tried to pull practical jokes on me. I dropped the kids off at school on my way to work. One morning I woke him up; he brushed his teeth and his hair in front of the bathroom mirror, finished getting ready for school and got in the car. It wasn’t until he walked in the door of school and a teacher asks him why he had a big “S” (for stupid) on his forehead in magic marker that he realized he’d been had.

When I was a welder for a large industrial plant, getting your locker sealed shut with a bead of clear silicone all the way around the door was common.

One guy use to party late and drag ***** all day He’d go to the locker room at lunch and sleep on the narrow bench. I brought a freon horn to work one day and waited until he was asleep. I cracked the door just enough to stick it in, blast it and see him fall off the bench on his face…

At a party one night at my neighbor’s house, a friend that was notorious for mooning pi$$ed off his girlfriend. She asks me if I would go get my stun gun for her and not tell anybody. So I did…. When her boyfriend dropped his pants and leaned forward on the picnic table she nailed his bare rear with it. He went up in the air, came down in the bench and rolled off on the ground. I don’t remember him mooning anybody after that…

Last edited by rs; 03-13-2006 at 07:55 PM.
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