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Old 02-17-2004, 05:29 PM
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Redneck Neighbor

You guys aren't even going to believe this http://www.joespc.com/carlos/redneck.htm I fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard. Its hysterical.

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Old 02-18-2004, 05:06 AM
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Ya know Ghettojet, I'd think that was hilarious if I didn't have a neighbor just like that.
Our house was the first one built in a brand knew neighborhood. When we bought it we were told about our "covenents and restrictions", which sounded fine by us. Unfortunately, now that we have some new neighbors who apparently can't read said "covenents and restrictions", and the city now says they are unenforceable (since they're not "ordinances"). So now all we can do is watch our property values go down.
The first thing he did was put up a chain link fence, exactly like the one illustrated on the web site. Then he turned a pair of very noisy Pit Bulls loose in it. He decorated his new front yard with ceramic deer (we already have live ones), and I'm not kidding here, some pink flamingos and a bent over fat lady, permanent Christmas lights, about a hundred old cargo pallets in numerous stacks in his backyard (no clue as to what he might use them for, but they've been there a year now. I guess rats need homes too). A couple of weeks ago, not one two, or even three, but six cats now live there, I guess to keep the pit bulls company.
He also has an old '79 Trans Am in the driveway he plans on "restoring", but in my opinion, its way beyond restorable.
I'm only scratching the surface here, but you get the idea.
Where do thes people come from?
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Old 02-18-2004, 06:18 AM
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my friend"had "neighbours like that, he put up a 6 foot board on board fence so he could let on they werent there,they gassed and burned the fence.
next day we went to the hennery and bought 200 old chickens(50 cents each)we let them go in his yard at night.
he must of thought the kfc truck rolled or something,cause he was some happy(free chicken for a year).when we asked where he got them, he said he bought them from a friend who needed money.
he called the cops and the guy was charged with crewelty to chickens or something.
we kept up being the neighbours from hell, heck we were that good the guy didnt think the house would sell.
my friend explained to potential buyers that we were his neighbour from hell, and that when he moved, it would stop. the guy bought the house and now my friend has good neighbours.
the chickens moved out into the woods behind the house.but have seemed to disappear.(seen a fat fox though)
If you wanna get rid of a redneck, you gotta be redneckier..mike
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Old 02-18-2004, 07:02 AM
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Now just imagine a dozen of these neighbors strewn around your town.

You have my town in a nutshell. Bunch of hillbillies around here.
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Old 02-18-2004, 08:06 AM
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I want a mailbox JUST like that one....wonder if I can have JD8 build me one?

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Old 02-18-2004, 08:26 AM
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I can relate to this guy in a way, I had a redneck neighbor for a long time, he moved away about 4 years ago. The most memorable moment I have is hearing explosions around 10 o'clock on a week night. I ran outside to see what the hell was going on. Turns out my neighbor had threw a bunch of empty spray paint cans into the all ready illegal leaf burning fire he had is his front yard.
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Old 02-19-2004, 12:57 AM
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I think this little website about JD8 and his antics are pretty funny. Whats actually pretty damn sad is that a neighbor of mine is probably worse still.
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Old 02-19-2004, 10:10 AM
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Real Story time here:

Next door neighbor, real decent type of guy. Keeps to himself and keeps the property cleaned up. So far, whats the big deal? Right?
I live 20min. north of Syracuse. Farm country. When we moved in, in November, I saw a guy standing in a tree in his back yard. Being a hunter, during hunting season, I had a set of binoculars handy. I looked over at "Ron" and saw him in his tree , tied in w/ cotton clothesline. (YEP!) and thw worst part- HE WAS DRESSED IN CARHARTS ! (Brown workclothes) OK, it gets worse. He seemed to be scanning the field with one hand cupped over his right eye. Monocular? That was my first thought. Story goes to the following May. I'm over at Rons, and he saw something on the ridge behind our houses (250 yards from house). "See that deer up on the ridge about 800 yards away?" said Ron. I only saw a bush (again at 250, not 800 yards) and said it was a bush. He cups his eye again(like in the tree), and poses like the Luc De Fluire (leaning forward with one foot in the air behind him). (At this point I almost died laughing again.) He insists on it being a deer. He yells "Maww, git the 'noclers!!! His wife (55+ ,no teeth,no bra, threadbare t shirt) gets this set of crusty binoculars and hands them to me. After cleaning about an 1/8" of crust off, I look thriugh them. Sure enough it was a bush. He takes the "noclers", and fiddles with them for aout 3 minutes. Finally aquiessing that its a bush. Later that day, he "goes fer a ride with Maw" in the lawn tractor and tow-behind dump cart up the hill through all the underbrush. I think they were looking for the missing chromosone or something.........
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