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Old 07-08-2005, 06:36 PM
Lee468's Avatar
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Smile lifes to short to worry about it

Small Grin -
A police officer pulls over a speeding car.
The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60,
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket , the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket "
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't Have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"


Scroll down --- I love this part....















"Only when he's been drinking."











"."





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Old 07-08-2005, 08:30 PM
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Good one....

Ever hear of the officer that pulled over a kid for going like a bat out of hell? When he approached the driver ready to write a big ticket saying; "I've been waiting for you all day" The kid replies, "Yeah? well I got here as fast as I could"....Story goes that the cop let him go, laughing all the way to the cruiser.
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Old 07-08-2005, 10:27 PM
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This is a true story, from the Orange County Sheriff's office...

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car,
found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her
shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her
voice, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!"

The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran
like mad.

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into
the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that
she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then
it dawned on her why.
A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces
farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police
station. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing.

He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were
reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less
than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large
handgun. No charges were filed.

If you're going to have a Senior Moment, make it a memorable one!
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