thats great that you brought this thread back up there are some pretty funny stories in here

I`ve pulled up another one from my arsonal of classic lies I`ve been told.
In the late 90`s, around 1997. We always hung out at a Amoco gas station. 3 of our friends worked there, we would hang out, eat, etc.
There was always this one kid who would show up, now get this, he had a 1976 Ford F100 long wheel base, it used to be a camco work truck. it had a worn completely out 351 windsor in it with a stock 2 barrel. The truck was a POS, the shifter was no longer on the column, it had a C4 automatic and a steel rod coming out of the floor board to act as the shifter.
When asked about the transmission he said the transmission had been rebuilt, and it was a secret the guy didn`t want to get out, so we asked what he was talking about and he says, "okay, but keep it quiet,, the guy installed turbo hydramatic parts in it, you know turbo parts are faster" I liked to have split my lungs open to keep from laughing. a few nights later he shows up again and shows us his latest idea, he stacked 2 air filters together and said "that gave it another 30 horsepower!" A few days later he shows up again saying "I just ran this corvette, I completely busted his tail, he never had a chance" then he pulls the seat up and says "check this out,, I just put some NAWS on it" I take a look and see a freakin fire extenguisher bottle spray painted blue with a NOS sticker on it. So I say to him "Where`s the lines at? I don`t see any lines or solenoids going to the carb either" and he says "oh I took them off before I came up here, I only put them on when I race, if I leave it on it`s got too much power" the moron didn`t even know nitrous kits had solenoids and were activated by a switch, he thought it stayed on full time. He said to me "You should have been here last night, I started at the fence, and burned the tires all the way out of the parking lot and past the hospital, to get it to stop I had to let out of it before it got away from me" Later that night it started raining and he decided to put on a show, he was power braking it in the rain, the mud grips on the back of the thing were barely turning even on wet pavement, the engine was lugging so bad it sounded like someone should have put a bullet in it to put it out of it`s misery. I asked him where was the smoke show, and he said "Somethings wrong with it, I think the timing jumped"
Last but not least, I finally had enough of it, I was driving my mothers 86 buick park avenue, I said to him "Tell you what, I`ll run you, I`ll spot you 2 car lenths plus give you the hit, we`ll race for $200" and he started blabbling out excuses why he couldn`t run me, so I said to him "You got the anvantage, 2 more cylinders, your NAWSSSSS, 2 car lenths and the hit,, how can you lose?" so he starts again on his excuses, and I finally said "then shut your damn mouth about how fast it is, your always telling us all what it`ll do and how many corvettes and camaro`s you`ve out run and you won`t even run a buick family car" the rest of the people at the table with me were all laughing at him. Needless to say, he never said another word about that truck. The last time I seen that truck, it had a for sale sign on it, $2000 was the asking price, I later found out after it sat 3 months a guy offered him $300 and he took it. Another legendary vehicle got away. Shame.

Now why'd you go and do that? You ruined hours 'n hours of perpetual entertainment for you 'n your friends.

Hehe I can certainly see what you mean but by that time we`d all gotten tired of hearing it and we just couldn`t take anymore. That was one stupid kid, somebody had to pee in his corn flakes lol.
I didn`t see him again for years after that but I seen some of his handy work. He later got a 86 camaro with a 2.8 V6. His uncle ran a car lot in another town, we were rolling through and my friend said "that`s his car on that lot for sale, his uncle runs the lot" on the windshield read "Fresh rebuild, ported and polished! high compression! big cam!"
The kids uncle had did a basic re-ring build on it, the rest was the kids imaganation.

there was a guy that was telling me about his 69,70,71 gto (all the same car)
and of course it had a big bada$$ engine and would pull the frontend on the street with radials.

oh and he was about halfway drunk when he was telling me this

How's this for a doozy. I had a guy try telling me today that he got 5 gallons of antifreeze followed by another two gallons of oil out of the glow plug hole in a 350 Chevy engine block. Yes, I did have my hip waders in the truck.....


In a while, Chet.

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My Monte Carlo Addicts site

Had A guy at the garage today telling me the government can track your car by taping into the tire monitoring system.

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Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity



Chet

WHAT??? They can't??????????


In a while, Chet.

__________________
It's not what you take with you when you leave, it's what you leave behind you when you go.

My Monte Carlo Addicts site

Had a guy at the shop tell us that if you drink a quart of valvoline a week it will clean your system out. So i offer him a quart guess what he tried but could'nt drink it. . Cole

Mayb he should have tried quaker state

wow

With a little help from the embalmer at the funeral home..

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"give it to Mikey, he'll drink anything"

This guy actually thought that we were buying this one. It was one of the funniest moments in my life:

I am a drummer and after a gig one night I stopped at a mini-mart / gas station to get some late night snacks for the long ride home. When I pulled up to the door I noticed a red Neon 4 door that looked like the typical moving Pep Boys crappy accessories shelf. Plastic spinners to boot. When I went inside the building, there was the obvious owner of it sprawled out in a lean at the counter, hat not quite completely sideways, underwear sticking out of his pants so far it looked like they were eating him alive, and the inseam/crotch of his pants hovering between his kneecaps. You have all seen this guy before and you know that what ever comes out of his mouth is going to be completely worthless or a complete lie. I strode over to the coffee pots all rowed up across from where he was posing at the counter for the little hottie at the register. As I was pouring my coffee, out from him came the lie of epic proportions, "It's got a Viper motor in it"....... I stopped pouring my coffee and leaned back to get a good look at his Neon through the glass door. As a car guy I had a moral responsibility to protect that girl behind the counter from disillusionment and it was a ripe opportunity to lay down some fantastic sarcasm. I looked to him and asked "That car right there?". "Yup" he replied all cocky like. I asked the girl behind the counter if she knew much about cars and she replied "A little". "Do you know what a Viper is?" I asked. "It's a very cool car, I know that" she replied. Underwear Man is shifting his lean and I asked him if this motor was in there right now. "Yup" was his reply. I walked to the door and squatted down and could see one of the ripped CV boots hanging down under the front end and turned and looked right at him and asked "I'm a car nut and that sounds pretty cool. Mind if I take a look at it?" This was priceless, he replied " I don't let anyone see how I did it." and he looks over at the girl and throws a big exaggerated wink. Thats when I let it flow right out. "OK man, first of all, that car is front wheel drive and the Viper spins the rears. You have a CV boot swinging underneath your front end of your front wheel drive car. If you try to say that the motor is in there sideways, why isn't it sticking out of the fenders on both sides because a Viper V10 has 6 more cylinders than the original motor from that car and is wider than the front end of the car. The plastic spinners you have are real nice but the extra 400hp that your Viper motor 'in there' has over the stock 150hp would send those things flying like frisbees. If it's mounted front to back, why isn't your steering wheel and driver seat in the back seat. That motor and tranny is much longer than the front end of that car. That's amazing! How did you do that!? By the way, I would suggest with all that new power you might want to get a different exhaust. That single stock 4 cylinder pee shooter set up that you have hanging off the back will get blown off as soon as you start the car having all that power and all....If you are going to tell a monster of a lie like that you should be very sure there is no one around that knows anything about cars." He looked at me totally stunned. I said "Do you know anything about boxing?" "Not really" he replied. I said "I'm the heavy weight champion of the world." ..... The girl behind the counter couldn't hold it back anymore and let out a roar of laughter. Now here is the best part....the guy takes off in a huff, kicks the door open, slaps my fender of my van and as he is walking towards his car...remember those baggy pants?.... they dropped just enough to trip him up and he hits the pavement!!! He fired up the Viper powered Neon and went to gun it and stalled. Tried it again and stalled it in the street. I don't remember ever laughing that hard and the girl behind the counter was crying with laughter. It was one of the most memorable moments in my life. If that dude had a gun, he would have come back and shot me.

This guy was in his mid to late twenties and the girl was probably 20. If you have made it that far and your still telling woppers like that, you deserve complete humiliation. Boy was he humiliated.

funny story, man, I'm surprised he didn't ask the clerk for "a comb, some gum and a bottle of Old Harper" - -

AG, joke - - sorry

Seems to be a lota musicians on these car Forums - -