I was just posting in the engine forum and I had a good idea for a discussion. Here's the thing: Tell your stories about some guy you started talking to who just told you some rediculous story that made you roll your eyes of laugh with your buddies later. I'll start.
Ok, so I was working about 4 or 5 years ago at my job and I spotted a dodge challenger with no hood and a mean motor out in the lot. The guy came in and I told him I'd like it if I could take a look at his ride and have a chat. He starts talking it up, tells me it has a viper motor in it and he's been working for years to get it in there. Even though it was a nice ride, I went out there and there's some over-cammed small block mopar with leaking header gaskets. Before I could say "but you were saying..." I just said, ok man thanks, I got to get back! You guys know what I mean?
So he didn't know that he was two cylinders short of a viper motor? Maybe they were in the trunk for later? Have to think of a good story to put here. I worked in a full service shop for three years before college, lots of funny stuff happened, but now I have to remember it all.
hooo boy...I got ya all beat...you could tell when the guy that lived across from me wasn't lying....his lips weren't moving!
He said ten years ago he lived in California as a machinist making billet top fuel blocks and he had a cuda he drag raced that was so tweaked the front left wheel wouldn't touch the ground when it was parked. He also worked for the FBI. Always had strippers over at his house and ....blah...blah...blah....I wish I would've written his stories down!
Now he and his wife and kids live with his parents and he is an overweight carpenter with enough teeth that he has to floss with a rope. I always wanted to ask what had happened to his storybook life!
I had a freind in high school that called his 66' wide-block 318" a 440" for the better part of our junior year! Showed it off to everyone he met----2 barrel carb, single exhaust, the whole ball of wax!!!
I`ve heard some classics, some come to mind are:
"I build a engine had so much torque, I was tuning it in the yard, i revved it up and the car flipped over" - I should have asked him why didn`t it land on him when it did.
"I got pulled over in my brothers camaro doing 174, I got the ticket to prove it" - this jerk didn`t think I knew the cops radars at that time didn`t register over 155, had they stopped him doing 174 they would have took him to jail, forget the ticket.
"Man, I heard the new 93 Mustangs are gonna do the quarter mile in like 2 or 3 seconds" - I didn`t bother to tell this college mate of mine that was faster than top fuel dragsters.
Here`s the best one I`ve heard:
"I built a 350 had so much compression it broke the compression gauge, 2 battery`s wouldn`t turn it over, to get it to start I had to take all the plugs out and spray oil in the cylinders, it was too fast for me, so I gave it to my brother. "
Another is:
man we built a 427 with dual quads, it had so much power it broke the frame in my 57 chevy pickup, I left the line and the front end went one way and the back went the other, it broke the frame clean in half!"
I`ve heard so many I thought of writing a book and calling it "best automotive lies"
We were street racin' back in the late 70's,:nono: this guy pulls up in a 70 ford Galaxy XL with a 390. He noses over the line so they back him up while the other car comes to the line---flag drops and doofus takes off in reverse! No problem, he just keeps it hammered and slams the shifter in low!!! God Awful noise and commotion! He pulls over--we open the hood the motor is leaning over sideways---both motor mounts are ripped loose, top radiator hose is popped off,etc. We laughed about it for months!!!!:thumbup:
Lol. One real loser I knew back in HS told me that he had rebuilt the v-6 (which upon closer inspection turned into a 2.3L 4-banger) in his ford tempo so stout that he pulled up next to a vette and "rosted that thing... he didn't know what was coming."
This is to Killerformula and BlownBirdy.
I know what you mean but I'm somewhat confused. you are talking about a car that has a viper motor in it. Are you talking about the one under the hood that makes the car transfer from one place to another? That's an engine, it is internal combustion. There are several motors in a vehicle. They are electrically operated. Just bugging ya. almost everyone calls an engine a motor.
lol, yeah I know the techical definitions, my grandpa was a mech engineer. motor is easier to type, and it rolls off of the tounge easier. Stroker motor. Doesn't that sound great? Stroker engine... uhhh, well, cool but not so great. See?
I worked with a kid a couple of summers ago that had a little Mitsubishi Eclipse. It was a four cyl non-turbo car. He claimed it ran the quarter mile in nines and all he had done was ported and polished the intake. I think all the stickers he had on the must have added all that extra horse power he needed. The car must have been pretty fast though, one of the stickers was started to peel up from the high speeds....LOL
I get mine from Border Motor Parts in Spring Valley (San Diego). Too far for you to drive. I always put in new gears but you can find the pumpkins in wrecking yards. A new set (ring,pinion,brgs,seals) runs about 275.00. HTH. Norm.
ok... make sure you tell Border Motor Parts that too, because I'm sure misnomer is costing them big money from their business...
I'm just messing with u!
K
btw, found this too,
2. (Mach.) A prime mover; a machine by means of which asource of power, as steam, moving water, electricity, etc., is made available for doing mechanical work.
LOL....I actually find this humorous discipline funny. Nobody has told me that in years. As a little kid, I used to tinker with everything, from analog alarm clocks to engines on anything. I started quite a collection of furnace motors in my garage several years ago, and to this day have a bunch in my garage just sitting there, waiting to be used. One day they will go into some crazy creation of mine as a few already have. Anyway, my dad and I would go out into the garage and work on cars or whatever and no matter what we were talking about it would always lead to cars. I used to say motor referring to engines, and one time he taught me a lesson. He put down what he was doing and took my hand. He pointed to the stack of motors I had on my work bench and said "son, those are motors." Then he opened the hood of his car and said "Son, this is an engine." He explained to me the difference (one being electrical and one being internal combustion) and I learned something that day. Over the years, I have forgotten that simple lesson, and got back to my old ways. I think it is mainly a case of what K-F said, it rolls easier and is quicker to spell. Also as he said, 383 stroker motor sounds cooler, at least to me. Anyway, thanks for bringing up some good old memories, I haven't thought about that in a while. I will try to keep it straight from now on. No hard feelings.
Electricians Don't work on engines.
I guess I'll have to tell Border Motor Parts to change their name.
quote:I get mine from Border Motor Parts in Spring Valley (San Diego). Too far for you to drive. I always put in new gears but you can find the pumpkins in wrecking yards. A new set (ring,pinion,brgs,seals) runs about 275.00. HTH. Norm.
ok... make sure you tell Border Motor Parts that too, because I'm sure misnomer is costing them big money from their business...
I'm just messing with u!
K
btw, found this too,
quote:2. (Mach.) A prime mover; a machine by means of which asource of power, as steam, moving water, electricity, etc., is made available for doing mechanical work.
One time a friend of mine and I were playing with those little rubber bouncy calls you get from the machine for $.25. Anyway, we thought it would be a really good idea to get some of the bigger ones and put them in a tailpipe. So we crammed it in the tailpipe of my Eclipse and I fired it up. The engine sounded bogged down and almost cut out. So I gave it a little gas. That's when it all started.
With a blast that shook the car, we looked behind us with a heat-sensing telescope we stole from the army surplus just in time to see a flameball traveling superfast headed right for a midget nazi in a baby carriage in the middle of the road with no one else around 50 miles away.
So I put it in gear and spun my car around and started chasing the ball. I was doing about 346 mph before I hit my button with a 3,000 quadrashot of NAWS. We caught up with the flaming ball about 20 miles from the carriage and my friend D leaned out the window with a baseball bat. "A little closer." he says. So I steered the car so we were right next to this speeding flaming rubber ball that I had just shot out of my exhaust about 45 seconds ago. Anyway, D reached out with the bat and smacked the ball as hard as he could. It didn't do anything though since the bat was made of wood and was burned in a flash the second it touched the flameball.
Just then I realized that there was going to be no way of stopping this flaming rubber ball, so I armed the rocket that we stole from the air force surplus which we mounted to the rear frame of the car. When I flipped the switch, we heard a loud explosion and immediately tasted that skin that everyone says that's on your teeth, which happens to get sucked into your throat at 13 G's. Anyway, so now we're doing about 6000+mph when I start coming up on the midget nazi in the baby carriage when all of a sudden, he pops out of the carriage with 2 M-16's and starts firing at us.
So I figured, "Well there's no use stopping for this one" so we just drove right by and let the ball hit him. Then we went to go eat shrimp and THAT. . . . . . . . is how I got that red stain on my shirt.
heres one for ya in my 57 chevy i got a 327 and a 373 posi , this guy that comes in my shop sometimes treid to tell me that the rearend he has in his car which was origanaly a 6cyl car ,and still has the factory one wheelie peelie rearend is stronger and better than any posi rearend i could buy, and that i should put one in my car . i then thought to myself next time he comes in here im going to ask him to leave his stupidity out in his car ..
I could just see ya' standin' there talkin' to the reps, "Y'all sure do make sum big'ol motors!" :thumbup:
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